First Before.

[_____iamacliche]

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:


* how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

i'll feel less on edge/ panicky/ upset/ angry with myself/ other people.

* what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

it'll take the hurt away for a while.

* how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

grounded. more than anything.

* if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

a few hours/ until i next feel the urge to hurt myself.

* what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

i've ran out of options. but usually it'd be reading/ writing/music etc.

* how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

i'll feel grounded. and not on edge. yeah, i may feel bad for a while. but i'll put up with it.

* what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

because i'm angry. i'm hurting. i'm upset. and i'm feeling lots of other different things that i just can't make right now.

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer

* Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?

a member of my family being selfish. me feeling like a bad/ useless person.

* Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?

yes, i have. and i did everything i've tried to before.

* What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?

ice/ rubber bands/ having my i-pod on really loud.

* How do I feel right now? hurt/ upset/ angry/ numb.

* How will I feel when I am hurting myself? in control.

* How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning? i don't know yet.

* Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future? i could, but it's very hard.

* Do I need to hurt myself? i don't know. i want to but something/ someone is stopping me.

x

[LBC]

hi iamacliche

Welcome to b&a...did answering the questions help?

What struck me most about your post was that you want to self-injure, but something is stopping you...how can you nurture that part of you that doesn't want to? Any ideas about how to make that part stronger, or to make yourself more aware of it?

There's a great list of distractions in Sourcebook, if you're looking for some new ones.

I'm glad you posted here.