Before

[Beasty]

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

I might feel less. I'm feeling so many things that I cant deal.

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

It will ease it up a bit. But... I suppose then I will feel badly that I couldn't deal with it myself.

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

I want to feel strong. Powerful. Hurting myself will not accomplish that.

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

Hopefully it would last until it was time for bed. Then I could fall asleep and feel better in the morning. If not....I don't know.

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

I could continue focusing on the story I am reading. It wont do anything but distract me. That would last until I got bored of it or until I finished it, and I don't know what I'd do after.

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

I'll feel really shitty. If I just try to ignore it and overcome it, I'll feel better about myself.

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

I really want someone to be with me and want me. I want to have a true friend that I can lean on and I know wont betray me ever. But I know that trusting someone is foolish in my experience. I don't know how I can honor this instinct or whatever...I can barely think straight.

Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?

I cant think past these feelings. I cant convince myself otherwise at the moment.

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?

I think I cut last time this happened. I cant remember how I felt.

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?

I suppose I could read a little Nietzsche to bring back my stature. But I'm really not thinking well enough to be able to handle Nietzsche. I could try.

How do I feel right now?

Shitty. Alone. A victim of my mental diseases.

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?

Liberation.

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?

Likely numb. And then pissed off that I did it. And then I'll pick my scabs to infinity which will give me more scars that i dont need.

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?

It came on without warning. There was no stressor, just BAM. So I have no clue.

Do I need to hurt myself?

I still want to....but less.