write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
Ill feel better for now. Right now I'm upset and I'm hurt, and I pretty much hate myself. Those feelings will go away for a little while and I wont feel anything anymore - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It will bring temporary sanity. I just hit 1 month without SI so it will take that away - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I just wanna feel like I mean something, that I'm not being used, that I'm pretty, wanted, not fat, and not worthless
hurting myself will get me further from feelin that way - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
It will last long enough for me to calm down and be able to sleep, and save me a portion of my sanity. Ill sleep after. And tomorrow is a new day and I cant possibly wake up feeling worse than today - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
Sleep. It wont change anything. Ill wake up tomorrow and nothing will be different - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
Ill feel shitty if i hurt myself, and ill feel shitty if I dont - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I cant deal with all the shit going on right now and all my feelings - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
yes, i cut, and i felt better - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
Ive cried, ive bitched to people, and ive posted here on bus. I could sleep. - How do I feel right now?
like i dont matter, like im fat, ugly, unwanted - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
Calm , relieved, alot better - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
calm, at peace, numb maybe. Tomorrow morning idk - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
If certain people that i like to call my boyfriend would stop asking me whats wrong then be "kinda busy" and have to get off the fone with me before i can even answer, If he could stop gushing about how his ex girlfriend he saw is gorgeous, and if my parents want to stop calling me fat then I could deal with this better. - Do I need to hurt myself?
Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.
