...worried

wilson · Post by **wilson** » Sat Oct 28, 2006 6:50 am

im really woried about this person at school. we dont talk much, but when we do shes always talking about how much of a hard time she's having, and how much it would be easier if she wasn't here. i try and give her the support she needs when we talk but that seems to be less and less.
last night i heard she was in hospital with an intended drug overdose. its made me really worried about her. i dont think she can trust anyone meaning she wont talk to anyone about whats happening. and i know talking does really help. i dont want to pressure her into talking to me tho.
i've made it very clear that she can talk to me but i dont think she will.
i dont really know what to do anymore.

any suggestions?

MusicalMorphine · Post by **MusicalMorphine** » Sat Oct 28, 2006 1:04 pm

wilson wrote:im really woried about this person at school. we dont talk much, but when we do shes always talking about how much of a hard time she's having, and how much it would be easier if she wasn't here. i try and give her the support she needs when we talk but that seems to be less and less.
last night i heard she was in hospital with an intended drug overdose. its made me really worried about her. i dont think she can trust anyone meaning she wont talk to anyone about whats happening. and i know talking does really help. i dont want to pressure her into talking to me tho.
i've made it very clear that she can talk to me but i dont think she will.
i dont really know what to do anymore.

any suggestions?

I don't know that there's a whole lot you can do. Just let her know that you're there for her if she wants it, like you have been doing.
I don't know, I'm kinda braindead right now. I have a friend who is sucidal and I worry everyday, especially as we are not that close so don't talk a lot. Just be there and remember if anything bad does happen it's not your fault.

calypso · Post by **calypso** » Sat Oct 28, 2006 1:20 pm

hugs el x

b3autifu2l37 · Post by **b3autifu2l37** » Sat Oct 28, 2006 1:48 pm

you can't really control what she will and won't tell you- i know it's hard, but all you can really do is offer support.

you say you're still in school, so i'm assuming you're still in highschool or something? (please correct me if i'm wrong!) if she says things like that again ("it'd be better if i wasn't here") and stuff, you should tell someone. a guidance counselor, a teacher, someone in authority. by law (atleast in the US) they have to contact the person's parents. i know you probably don't want to "tell" on your friend or make her angry with you, but this is suicide. she obviously attempted it already, and next time she might actually do it and be successful. you can try and help her and prevent it by telling someone before she tries doing it again.

you sound like a great, caring friend- all you can do is watch out for her and remind her that you're open for talking.

Post by **Spidey** » Sat Oct 28, 2006 4:56 pm

b3autiful, i like your idea, but i strongly encourage the op or anyone else that is considering telling school authorities (guidance counselor, the like) to really, *really* think hard about that and whether or not it is worth it. telling a school authority could be <i>severely</i> damaging and could even heighten the situation.

--

to be honest, i don't think there's much more that you can do besides make this person aware that they can talk to you at any time - which you have. there's really not a whole lot that you can do - they have to want to help themselves.

b3autifu2l37 · Post by **b3autifu2l37** » Sat Oct 28, 2006 5:40 pm

but i strongly encourage the op or anyone else that is considering telling school authorities (guidance counselor, the like) to really, *really* think hard about that and whether or not it is worth it. telling a school authority could be severely damaging and could even heighten the situation.

i agree, i've been told on many times for SI. they called my parents and it's changed my relationship with them. but at the same time, this isn't SI or an ED- it's suicide. imo (no one has to agree

) i feel that this would be the one time it would be helpful to tell someone.

no one has to agree, but the next time she tries it she might actually succeed. suicides can be prevented.

wilson · Post by **wilson** » Sun Oct 29, 2006 2:45 am

thanx guys.
the only problem with telling someone to let them know about this is that i dont want her to think she cant trust me. i have been in the exact situation as she has and i know its hard. i know that when someone you think you can alerts someone you dont trust them anymore.
i will think about it some more, coz we're almost finished school and i dont just wanna leave without trying something.

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Sun Oct 29, 2006 8:40 am

If she's been in the hospital for an OD & she is underage you can assume that her parents know whats going on already & the hospital will make sure she is getting some kind of help.

& I agree personally with beautiful. SI & suicide are very different states of mind. I was lucky enough to have a counsellor who understood that.

When I attempted su seriously for the first time I told a friend about it and she told my counsellor who then had to tell all to my mother. It ruined my life for a little while, and I lost trust in people I needed, but I realise now that they did what they did because they cared.

Also, if someone is telling you they are going to kill themselves, that probably means that at least a small part of them wants you to stop them.

However it is her life, and whatever happens, it is not your fault or your responsibility.

the edge of the world · Post by **the edge of the world** » Fri Nov 03, 2006 9:26 am

I'm not sure what to tell you. Somewhat similar to my current situation....

If she's been in the hospital recently, I'm sure her parents are aware already. Perhaps it is better to keep her trust? She probably needs someone to trust right now....

I set my limits by assesment of immediate danger. I'm not going to sit by knowing my friend is trying to kill herself, but I won't go tell on her for thinking about it (that would be very contradictive of me, since I think about su far too much) or having a distant future plan (such as saying "I'm going to kill myself when I'm 30" when she's 18). Keep an eye out, of course, but I think I'd advise against being reactionary.

I really don't know what I'm talking about, though.... don't listen to me! I'll die of su, too, someday, probably, so it doesn't make much sense for me to be advising here....

good luck!

bus

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