I have not done any SI for 4 days now and I am proud of myself,but I notice that the weekends are hard for me,more so the nights. I do not know why,but that is when the SI happens ,sometimes the week days if something is going on. I finally got a shoe box to put things that will help me when I feel like SI,I can not figure out why the SI happens more on the weekends then the weekdays,that is when all the things that I keep inside of me or emotions that bother me,that is when it happens.I want to decorate my shoebox,the top of it,but I am not sure how some of you,do it,I know that is not a important questions,but I was wondering.I order the SI bracelets,but they have come yet,have not recieved any thing by e-mail. Ijust feel frustrated and scared wondering if the SI will happen or not,and I know that it will not help by worrying about it,but I do get scare over the weekends. I have not talked to my therapist cause she is not in and I feel like she has rejected me or abandoned me,even though that is not true,it is part of my mental illness,but I can not help feeling that way.
If anyone has any suggestions of what i can do or how to help me. I would be very grateful,you can PM if you want. I am just worry about the weekends Iwas talking about decorating the top of the shoebox. Sorry that I keep changing subjects my mind is jumping today. Just hanging in there and going to take care of me.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
