Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

Neviah · Post by **Neviah** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 11:50 pm

I talk to my teddys cause they can't tell my secrets.

I wish I could die but I can't because I love you

whypie · Post by **whypie** » Sun Jul 02, 2006 2:05 am

I know people thought it was all fake. I know people hated me for it even though when I was with them there was a smily face. That hurt the most. Knowing that everything they said was lie.

I'm paranoid people who heard about it will think I was lying all along as all my scars healed away to virtually nothing so I look like nothin has ever happened (I'm not complaining about that - I know it's a good thing) but I hate people judging me.

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I'm really truly the sorry for the way I handled that situation. It was selfish of me and I regret it a lot. I used words like immature and things like that. It wasn't her though. It was her friends. I can't handle peer pressure. I wanted to get out of that situation. I guess everyone likes to experiment, I'm not sorry that I said I would and I backed out. I feel like I proved something to myself, but I don't know what. I don't think any less of her because she wanted to. I never judged her for the drinking thing even though other people did. I feel terrible that I didn't see the deeper things underneath it all. I feel bad that I let my selfish ways and rambling ruin the friendship.

To be honest I thought a lot of stuff that was written was about me. Maybe I'm just paranoid, or maybe I was right. Maybe it's why I left. I didn't need to stay anymore and i was causing problems.

I guess I can't say I wish I could wipe it all clean because I would not have learnt lessons. But I do wish I knew then what I do now. I'm really sorry.

I guess I won't ever know the true extent of everything that is going on with her but I wish her the best and I hope she does well in the future.

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I can honestly say I don't think about him anymore. Ever. I don't see him like that anymore. I've stepped back over the line to friendship. It isn't because he has a girlfriend either, it's just everything. I've learnt to accept things now.

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Everyone else sees it but him. It's actually driving me a bit crazy but I'm in a better position then I ever have been before. I guess I can deal with it.

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There are some people I wish I could remove from my life. And most of them are bitchy girls. Having had so much experience with them I see straight through them and therefore have no time at all for any of them. I wish they would all piss off and stop interrupting things.

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I don't need SI anymore, but I'm afraid I will return to it as I gave it up for other people not me. (If that makes any sense). At the moment I can go days without SI even entering my brain, but it will always be there.

black_23 · Post by **black_23** » Sun Jul 02, 2006 10:44 pm

I know she's not real, but i can't let go and I don't know why. Im not sure I want her to go and it scared me.

I envied the way you could talk about your feelings last night and be so honest, I wish I could.

darkheart616 · Post by **darkheart616** » Mon Jul 03, 2006 3:54 am

*PM's ok*

- I am scared to be alone

- I want to be noticed

- I want everything to go my way

- I have a crush on my best friend and hes a guy

- I hide the fact i may be bi-curious
_______
*SI,SU warning *
---------

- I want to SI so bad i would die

- I used to walk out in front of cars hopeing they hit me

- I just want to give up but i am too scared to die

dont speak · Post by **dont speak** » Mon Jul 03, 2006 5:52 am

when i was thinking about SU, the only thing that stopped me was in health class they told us anyone who doesnt die from natural causes has to go to the coroner. i was too self concious to have that person inspect my naked body.

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Mon Jul 03, 2006 3:09 pm

I've whored myself again. I'm sorry. I love you, I didnt mean it. But, if you dont love me, then why do you get jealous?

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Mon Jul 03, 2006 8:34 pm

*PMs ok*

I'll do anything to make you happy. I don't care if it means I have to give up all my male friends or never go out with the girls or any of that....I just want you to want to be with me.

fortune · Post by **fortune** » Tue Jul 04, 2006 7:54 am

i saw you today - i was relieved... see even though i don't go near you, i'm still hoping you'll apologize because.... i miss you

- it kinda makes me feel weak...

fortune · Post by **fortune** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 7:14 am

my apologies for the double-postage...

i'm withdrawing because i realise that although people care - they don't care that much... so i'll go, even if it means i lose the only things that keep me together because - it tears me apart at the same time

~Claire~ · Post by **~Claire~** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 9:56 am

PM replies ok.

I think my friends mum is depressed & hitting her children because of it, but I don't know what to do.

weakgravity · Post by **weakgravity** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 5:11 am

*PM's okay*

*ED*
I lied to you today. When I said very little and not to worry, I meant a lot and that I need your help. But I can't tell you because my mom doesn't know I had an ED and you would feel bad if you knew it was still a problem.
------
You make me physically ill...and you're supposed to be my mommy. I wish you'd do more than neglect me emotionally so that I could get the heck away from you. I love you but I can't take it anymore.

kkandb · Post by **kkandb** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 7:23 am

*SI, ED*

-I always blamed my mother for not noticing I was depressed/SI'ing because she's a psychologist and I thought she should have known. When she did find out, I hated her for caring.

-The boy I was secretly in love with threw me a surprise birthday party when I turned 17. I was so disgusted with myself that I made myself throw up (which I don't do).

-When I first went away to college, I got really drunk at a party one night and let a bunch of guys sign my boobs. Then (instead of cutting) I wrote "I HAVE NO SELF RESPECT!" up and down my arms and then let a guy that I hated kiss me. It was one of the worst nights I've had. The secret is that it's one of my favorites.

pm's ok.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Sun Jul 09, 2006 7:30 pm

PM's ok

Everyday I wonder why you haven't left me yet.
And everyday I'm thankful that you haven't.

Lynds · Post by **Lynds** » Mon Jul 10, 2006 8:52 pm

Sometimes I wish you'd be a complete bastard to me just so I have an excuse to cut.

The other day I thought about what I loved more-you or SI...I hate myself for it-I knew it was you but nevertheless, I still had to think about it, what does that say about my state of mind right now?

I'm terrifed that if the parents of the kids I run groups for found out I SI they'd think I wasn't suitable to do the job even though I'm good at it and I'd never hurt the kids cos my SI has nothing to do with work.

black_23 · Post by **black_23** » Mon Jul 10, 2006 11:27 pm

I miss si even though I only havent cut for 3weeks.
I want to stop but Im scared.
I think Im replacing it with another obsession, my weight, which even my b/f picked up on, Im scared of getting as messed up as before.

My scars trigger me, and sometimes make me want to cut, if there this bad already what difference would one more make.[/size]
I know you think I was selfish for wnting to disappear that day, maybe I was, but I was so scared and alone, I just wanted to sorry.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 10:14 am

I'm starting to wonder if this would be easier if it was a purely sexual relationship and nothing else. It would be easier for me to deal with at least because then I'd know for definite that you're only using me inside of being in this grey no-man's land of not knowing if you're using me or being sincere or both.

fortune · Post by **fortune** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 11:53 am

su trigs...

in the play, it was so easy to get angry and tell someone they were worthless and that they should kill themself because... i've been having the same conversations with myself... in fact - it seems to be the only thing i do.

chickenbug2 · Post by **chickenbug2** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 3:51 pm

i am so scared that your going to wake up one day and find out that i'm not really all that wonderful and you'll leave.

i'm sorry you had to find out like that. i never should have lied all those years ago.

i hate that all of you are so nice to me. you should yell or scream or cry or at least do something. all this nothing is tearing me apart.

i hate pretending like i don't know. i really do.

shadowavenger · Post by **shadowavenger** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 11:48 pm

I don't think it will work out. I hope it will, but you're over 7000 miles away and I don't think it will. And part of me is glad, because when you leave I can die without guilt.

fortune · Post by **fortune** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 7:20 am

su trigs

if i had the keys to the pill box last night i would have done it there and then... but i know where they are - you should hide them somewhere different.

bus

Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

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