Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*

ViolinPlayingGoat · Post by **ViolinPlayingGoat** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 8:51 pm

i know that the reason i hate it so much is because i don't like being told what to do by you. because i don't like you.
and i know that it is because i don't want you being useful, helpful, praised. because i don't want you to be better than me at it. because i don;t want you taking her attention when i get so precious little of it anyway.
and i know that this is entirely selfish and horrible.
which is why i can't object and not do it, why i can't moan, because it makes me feel even more horrible that i don't want to join in for such selfish reasons.
but i -really- hate it, i don't want to join in, i can't make myself be enthusiastic about it and so i look even more stupid next to you, just like a sack of potatoes or something.
and i wish you would just fuck off again and leave because i was getting on fine. fuck off.

please, take me away to do something else next week. make it like it was before. i can't ask you again, even though i did ask before, and you said you would. but i can;t ask again, because it's for such stupid and self involved reasons that i just can't. but, just- please.

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 12:58 am

these have been the best two days in a long time.
almost normal.
there're a ton of problems wrong with this set up.
but it seems to be working.
don't ask me why.

friarygirl · Post by **friarygirl** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 5:57 am

...

Sarah

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 2:18 pm

you're all pushing and pulling me in so many directions that i don't know what to do anymore.

im sorry i can't be who you want me to be.

sockr28 · Post by **sockr28** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 3:36 pm

that was the most pointless thing ever. i wish that i got paid to do what you do. cant you see that i am still hurting. i tell you that i am not better yet you continue to tell me that i am. what is the point of seeing you if you dont do anything but tell me that i am ok. that just makes me feel worse. i am so fucked up. dont tell me otherwise.

Seeshellz · Post by **Seeshellz** » Thu Feb 01, 2007 6:20 pm

I need to talk to you. I can't wait until Tuesday, but I don't know if I should call, I can't call today anyway...I read something in an old journal that is triggering me, I totally blocked it out of my memory...it has to do with my ex...and I don't know if I can make it through the weekend, if I can't talk to you about it? Stupid PTSD!

cariad · Post by **cariad** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 2:10 am

I am so close to giving up

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 3:22 pm

you make me feel like im not allowed to have fun and get drunk when we're out.

i hate you being so protective.

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 3:25 pm

that was the most godawful night of my life.
and you.
you fucking eejit.
what the hell did you think you were doing you absolute brainless TWAT! no wonder the nurse had no sympathy.
you don't fucking deserve any. it's entirely your fault.
urgh.

Quiet little Angel · Post by **Quiet little Angel** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 3:28 pm

thank you so much... talking to me was a very nice thing to do... you made me feel less alone amongst all those people... now i hope and pray you will continue to do so... that it wasn't just a result of too much beer... if it was, then thank you anyway...

Seeshellz · Post by **Seeshellz** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 10:30 pm

I feel like you are pressuring me to do something I cannot do and it's making me feel stressed and shameful. I feel like a failure because I cannot live up to your expectations. I feel triggered to cut or even SU now. I feel worthless. I am a bad person. I'm never good enough for anybody...Not my Dad, not my ex-husband, not even God...

ViolinPlayingGoat · Post by **ViolinPlayingGoat** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 11:37 pm

THANKYOU

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Sat Feb 03, 2007 11:44 pm

thank christ you're alive. i don't know what i would have done...

--

April · Post by **April** » Sun Feb 04, 2007 1:17 am

I wish I could tell you these things. And I would. Except for that it will make things worse.

- I love you. I know you don't always believe it. But I do.

- I can't stop thinking about you. It's driving me crazy. Will it always be like this? When will it stop?

- I hate the fact she'll be sleeping in your bedroom. And I don't blame her for what happened. I blame you. You should have known better.

- When you asked me to marry you, I wanted to say yes. I really did. But I just don't trust you. So I'm marrying someone else. And I love him too.

- Some days, I hate you almost as much as I love you. On those days, I hope you're thinking about me and him, and I hope it hurts half as much as you hurt me.

- I know what you wanted to hear. But I thought that if I said it you would take it the wrong way. So I'll say it hear. I don't want you to leave because I'll miss you.

- I'm scared of turning into her.

Seeshellz · Post by **Seeshellz** » Sun Feb 04, 2007 3:34 am

Can you go to the grocery store alone? Can you go to the bank alone? Can you go to the mall alone? Can you get you hair cut alone? Can you go to the store alone? Can you go to a show alone? Can you go to the theatre alone? Can you handle crowds? Are you afraid to go for walks alone? Are you afraid to leave your house sometimes? Can you ride the bus without being afraid? Does someone knocking at your door make you jump? Do some ministers scare you? Are you a cutter? Did you ever try to commit SU several times? Were you abused by several men in many different ways? Have you been in the phosp many times? How many times have you been in ICU for trying to kill yourself? Do you know what it is like to be afraid to just be yourself? And then when your are, hate yourself for it?

wish · Post by **wish** » Sun Feb 04, 2007 2:37 pm

im starting to hate you.it started off as small resentments here and there and they just carried on growing.but you just dont see it.
your as bad as she is.i feel ive come out of the frying pan into the fire.
but if i tell you this you make out like im imagining it all.well im not.im not mad.i deserve a life too

Quiet little Angel · Post by **Quiet little Angel** » Mon Feb 05, 2007 11:29 am

you guys don't care... so stop pretending to...

Kaleb · Post by **Kaleb** » Mon Feb 05, 2007 3:58 pm

I keep almost crying cause i know im no better than him ..............

5th section · Post by **5th section** » Tue Feb 06, 2007 12:40 pm

you've got no idea, have you? no bloody idea.

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Tue Feb 06, 2007 8:50 pm

I can't deal with your bitching. I can't deal with your whining. I can't deal with you being ill. I can't save you. I can't even handle myself. It's doubtful I can keep me alive, never mind you as well.

bus

Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 Language

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