Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

Moderators: Spidey, noldo

Locked
User avatar
mithz
bus mechanic
bus mechanic
Posts: 3198
Joined: Mon Nov 20, 2006 11:31 pm
Gender: Male
Location: Hull, UK

Post by mithz » Wed Jan 17, 2007 11:31 pm

I have feelings. I may not show them. But they're there and I get hurt easily. Why don't any of you fucking realise this?

User avatar
acdcrocker1909
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 10453
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 3:42 am
Gender: Transguy
Location: Little Blue dot in a sea of Red

Post by acdcrocker1909 » Thu Jan 18, 2007 12:51 am

:star: why can't you just see how much you've fuckin' hurt me? Why are you so damned blind to that? WHY?!
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live - APWBD.


Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.

Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.

Image

User avatar
Binayshee
orange smartie
orange smartie
Posts: 1719
Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2006 3:02 am

Post by Binayshee » Thu Jan 18, 2007 2:35 am

thank you so much for the present, it was really sweet of you to stop by on my birthday like that. sometimes i wish that you knew me a little better, and knew things like i like to pick out my own clothes, cause i am hopelessly particular about what i wear, and it kinda hurts that you stopped by for 5 mintues to drop that off and didn't want to spend any time with me. quality time is the main way i feel loved.

User avatar
Binayshee
orange smartie
orange smartie
Posts: 1719
Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2006 3:02 am

Post by Binayshee » Thu Jan 18, 2007 3:14 am

i actually feel really angry. you don't call me. you don't let me know you're coming. you don't invite me to actually go shopping with you, i have a fucking closet full of coats you keep giving me that i want to get rid of that don't fit me and don't look good. i have my own fucking sense of style. i don't wear just anything. i may not look that great, but it has to be something i feel comfortable in. don't you know me??? i'm a f*cking freak about my clothes, and my appearance. have you NOT seen me freak over that shit all my life? :x and it was shocking having someone pounding on the door when i was all settled in for the night and got myself into a good space, and having you come in, drop that off, like it means the world to you that i like it, like its something i have to do FOR YOU or you'll be crushed if i don't like it, and never want to get me anything ever again. I DON"T WANT ANYMORE COATS. and i could have used the money you spent on that coat to pay some bills. and now its another thing cluttering up my closet. i'd like to burn all the fucking coats you've given me that i feel guilty for not liking in my fucking closet. :x

User avatar
StevieLynn
bus mechanic
bus mechanic
Posts: 3059
Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2007 3:55 am
Gender: female
Location: Eastern Pennsylvania
Contact:

Post by StevieLynn » Thu Jan 18, 2007 3:31 am

Abuse
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

I am afraid of you. When you get angry or upset, I fear for my safety. Can't you see that I punish myself? You don't need to do it for me. I am no longer a little child who needs to be spanked for discipline. I am an adult. You hurt me for so long that you don't even need to touch me to make me feel hurt and fear. Why can't you treat me with the love and respect I deserve?
In Which Something Oooh Occurred

And it felt like a winter machine that you go through and then you catch your breath and winter starts again, and everyone else was springbound. And when I chose to live, there was no joy, it's just a line I crossed. I wasn't worth the pain my death would cost, so I was not lost or found....But when you live in a world, well, it gets in to who you th ought you'd be. And now I laugh at how the world changed me. I think life chose me after all.
--Dar Williams

User avatar
Binayshee
orange smartie
orange smartie
Posts: 1719
Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2006 3:02 am

Post by Binayshee » Thu Jan 18, 2007 6:25 am

i feel guilty for what i said before because at least you thought of me on my birthday.

User avatar
red umbrellas
beyond inspiring
beyond inspiring
Posts: 8175
Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 8:50 am
Location: Sydney

Post by red umbrellas » Thu Jan 18, 2007 10:52 am

you can be such an insensitive prick sometimes....but you'd never realise it. and you'd be horrified if i told you.
take a long hard look at yourself.

---


i wish you cared about me more....and i don't know why it matters to me so much.
It's all life and fire and lunacy
And excuses and excuses and excuses

Hold On To Yourself - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

"We paint a picture of a scenario - and then we become afraid of it" - Andrea Fella

User avatar
mephistopheles
cow control
cow control
Posts: 24355
Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 4:40 pm
Location: London

Post by mephistopheles » Thu Jan 18, 2007 11:02 am

"y'know, you could probably stand to lose a few pounds"

what? I'm sorry, WHAT?! From WHERE! I have spent years getting this carefully formed starveling physique and you tell me I could LOSE a few pounds? Of what? Bone?! Organs? It's pretty much all that's left in here!
You stupid, blind, self-obsessed, ignorant little bitch.

And on a side note - you could stand to lose, what? A few stone? Don't start me on this game, I will win!
“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”

User avatar
Aly
beyond inspiring
beyond inspiring
Posts: 9384
Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2004 9:25 pm
Location: South England

Post by Aly » Thu Jan 18, 2007 12:01 pm

Ignore it and....be safe. I quite need you to stay safe....



Be okay little guy. Pleqase be okay.
The wind and I, we speak the same, but he don’t hear so well.
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.


If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...

User avatar
5th section
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7753
Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:06 pm
Gender: Male
Location: if rain makes Britain great then Manchester is greater
Contact:

Post by 5th section » Thu Jan 18, 2007 2:06 pm

*possible self-hating triggers
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
this is ridiculous. Why am I so obsessed with you? it's been months for fuck's sake. why can't I be normal and move on like everyone else does?
I've lost you because I'm inadequate and shit and I never deserved you in the first place. and I haven't tried to change any of that, even though I could at least try, because I know I still don't deserve you and I'm eventually going to lose touch with you completely and I will hate myself for wasting the best chance I ever had. I want to keep my fucking useless inconsequential life away from you because you deserve better. I want your life to go on as if I'd never had anything to do with it. you are a wonderful person and I hope you make the most of it.

:1cries: :1cries: :1cries: I love you
Last edited by 5th section on Fri Jan 19, 2007 2:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
...then one day I realised that the people you see in waiting rooms and car parks and on trains are really far more interesting. That they all have whole novels inside them, a fabric of scar tissues, photos and memories. They are comedies and tragedies and - more often - both at the same time.
- Anna James (1984-2007)

son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...

GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009

User avatar
fortune
orange smartie
orange smartie
Posts: 1835
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2005 11:59 am
Location: in my head - at the end of the path between the shrubberies...

Post by fortune » Thu Jan 18, 2007 2:27 pm

the answer you're looking for is: because you let me down and i expected too much of you. it broke me, i was alone. i became bitter to survive. self-preservation you see?

and the thing is... i still bloody love you :(
Image

User avatar
Bella Muerte
building community
building community
Posts: 541
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2007 10:32 am
Location: Australia

Post by Bella Muerte » Thu Jan 18, 2007 2:41 pm

Your blindness makes me sick. You go about your life, convinced that your way is the right way and that anyone different from you needs to change to fit your ideals before you will accept them. You think that nobody is entitled to feel unhappy, and that suffering ought to be punishable by law. You think it's ok to make friends with me, maueuver me until you are all I have left, put me down, treat me like dirt until I have no self-esteem left, and then just abandon me. It was never enough that I was just me; I had to be perfect. But no matter how much I changed for you, the bar was always moving higher so that I would never be good enough in your eyes. And if I ever asked for help, you would rip me to shreds.

You are one of the most self-obsessed, narcissistic people I have ever had the misfortune to make friends with. But even after everything you put me through, after all that you did, I still care about you. And I'm scared because I can see that you're headed for a big fall, and I won't be there to help you when everything comes crashing down around your ears. I'll be powerless to do anything, because you've shut me out. I guess you deserve everything that's coming to you. I just wish you would have waited for me to recover, so that I could show you the person I really am.

User avatar
Koru
town councillor
town councillor
Posts: 1434
Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2005 12:29 pm
Location: UK

Post by Koru » Thu Jan 18, 2007 3:18 pm

You say that you don't want to be with me, that I remind you too much of her and yet you are behaving more like my ideal boyfried than any guy I've ever been out with. You come to dinner with my family, make me laugh, buy me presents that you know I'll love, call me when I'd down, tickle me, tease me and treat me like a proper lady when you take me out. Then you tell me how you have to stop yourself calling me by her name, how we couldn't live happily ever after with me because she's the only one you'd ever marry.

Well, I talked to her last night and your name didn't even come up. She doesn't want to know you or know about you. I don't know if that's because she's over you or because she's not but she doesn't want you back.

If I thought that the two of you could live happily ever after then I'd do everything in my power to get you back together however much it hurt to watch because you are my friends and I want you to be happy. But, it isn't going to work like that - I understand if you don't want to be with me for whatever reason but don't waste the rest of your life longing for something that can never be. Your relationship with her was never the amazing, perfect time that you make it out to be, you fought and yelled and screamed, you both lied, and threw things and cried and sulked. Yes, I'm sure she made you very happy sometimes but she hurt you deeply too. Yes, you were guilty of a lot of stuff but she's no angel either - stop idolising her and move on. She has.

As for me, I'll move on too in time. I just need the self control to bring this back to just friends but it's so hard when you are everything that I want.
- Always look towards the sunshine and your shadows will fall behind you -

User avatar
Seeshellz
my other car is a bus
my other car is a bus
Posts: 34295
Joined: Tue May 18, 2004 1:51 am
Location: Hiding in my shell...

Post by Seeshellz » Thu Jan 18, 2007 6:16 pm

I don't understand why you are not calling me back. You are just proving what I am thinking. That you don't care about me. And it hurts so much. I feel really rejected by you. And I don't know what to do about it. I need you so much.
"If you learn from your suffering,

and really come to understand the lesson you were taught,

you might be able to help someone else who's now

in the phase you may have just completed.

Maybe that's what it's all about after all..."

Anonymous

User avatar
Not_what
being the change
being the change
Posts: 12501
Joined: Thu May 19, 2005 10:39 am
Location: England

Post by Not_what » Fri Jan 19, 2007 2:38 am

I wish we were still doing panto.

I wish you were still here to take care of me and catch me as I fall.
*It is only in darkness you can see the stars*
**Hakuna Matata**

User avatar
red umbrellas
beyond inspiring
beyond inspiring
Posts: 8175
Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 8:50 am
Location: Sydney

Post by red umbrellas » Fri Jan 19, 2007 2:55 am

i'm hoping and praying you don't ring.
because i don't want to go anywhere. or do anything.
It's all life and fire and lunacy
And excuses and excuses and excuses

Hold On To Yourself - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

"We paint a picture of a scenario - and then we become afraid of it" - Andrea Fella

User avatar
Seeshellz
my other car is a bus
my other car is a bus
Posts: 34295
Joined: Tue May 18, 2004 1:51 am
Location: Hiding in my shell...

Post by Seeshellz » Fri Jan 19, 2007 6:20 pm

I invited you over here for supper, and now I don't know if it's such a good idea. At the time I was feeling OK, now I'm not, so I'm afraid we will get into a fight or something. I will be ultra sensitive, feeling depressed like I am, and any nit pick thingy thing you say will hurt and I will react. Maybe you shouldn't come over...but at the same time I want you to come and hope we have a good time. I need you.
"If you learn from your suffering,

and really come to understand the lesson you were taught,

you might be able to help someone else who's now

in the phase you may have just completed.

Maybe that's what it's all about after all..."

Anonymous

User avatar
Quiet little Angel
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7754
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2005 2:10 pm
Location: somewhere between blue tulips and anxiety...

Post by Quiet little Angel » Fri Jan 19, 2007 7:40 pm

don't you care anymore? am i being dumped as a friend? have you all moved on without me? is it all over? am i just going to be all alone now? wont you atleast tell me?
/May

:lblstar: Never underestimate the power of silence... :lblstar:
:lblstar: micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand... :lblstar:
:lblstar: ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there? :lblstar:
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome

User avatar
finding neverland
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 396
Joined: Sun Dec 10, 2006 12:42 am

Post by finding neverland » Fri Jan 19, 2007 11:57 pm

You are a fucking bitch. The only people that like you are the ones who are too blind to see through your stupid act. Maybe you should stop being so fucking selfish and realise that you can't treat people like a piece of shit on your shoe.

You know I really hope you wake up one day and realise what you've done and you hate yourself and have to live with that forever.

Just leave me alone.
<p><center>You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. That's where I'll be waiting.

~

Scar tissue has no character. It's not like skin. It doesn't show age or illness or pallor or tan. It has no pores, no hair, no wrinkles. It's like a slipcover. It shields and disguises what's beneath.

[That's why we grow it, we have to something to hide.]

~

Every window on Alcatraz has a view of San Francisco.
</center><p>

User avatar
acdcrocker1909
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 10453
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 3:42 am
Gender: Transguy
Location: Little Blue dot in a sea of Red

Post by acdcrocker1909 » Sat Jan 20, 2007 3:23 am

i hate you.. i can't take this anymore. you act like a friend.. then stab me in the back.. and leave me home alone while you party with those who i hung with before you.. thanks for turning all of them against me. but you wanna know something ya whore.. i will be better than you.. i will be fucking a-m-a-z-i-n-g .. and you will be nothing.. i've always known I'll make a decent place in the world for myself.. but fuck you.. i'm going for gold. i will be known.. because you make me out to be a nobody.. and i will be somebody.
It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live - APWBD.


Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.

Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.

Image

Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 303 guests