A question, please, for SIers

[thewaves]

My mother found out in the worst possible way, and I will never really forgive for the look on her face, which I still remember as clearly as if it were happening this second.

I was 14. I was in the emergency room for an overdose and she was sitting with me, so scared that she could only react in anger. While the doctor was with me he lifted up my sleeves to check my blood pressure, and I remember my heart stopping and everything slowing down as he did so. There were fresh cuts on my arm (some from that night) in addition to several older scars, and I remember my mom looking me in the eyes and saying, "what the f*** is that?" and bursting into tears. She is not very understanding but she was trying so hard in the months to come...she stayed with me in the hospital that entire night and fell asleep as I just stared at the wall in front of me. The next morning they moved me to psych and I was there for three months, and I was glad to have that time where I was almost protected from what I was certain were her judgements of me. For over a year after I returned home all of the knives in my house were hidden, which was an embarassing thing to go through. While I was in the hospital she had cleaned out my room and found all of the tools I had hidden and everything that I had written. It felt degrading the way she responded, but I see now that she was frightened and bewildered. The idea of her child deliberately injuring herself was, understandably, unfathomable. I wish that I had tried to explain to her and ask for help earlier, rather than getting to the point when things unfolded as they did.

We never talk about anything from those days anymore. It's been six years, and we act as if nothing happened at all. I wish for openess (or maybe just some acknowledgement that will make me feel a little more accepted), but it just seems so much easier to continue life under the illusion of normalcy...it is certainly easier than having to ask my mother's permission to use the scissors again.

[twinkletears]

my parents know but they have never done anythingabout it or reacted different to normal.

[NewDawn13]

My family and most friends have no idea.

It almost came up one time in conversation with my mom, but I'm good at diverting attention.

I almost told my older sister, but I didn't think she'd understand, so I held back.

I want to tell them, but I just can't.

[Chaocontrol6]

As much as I didn't want my parents to know they found out and I didn't exactly get in trouble, but it forced me not to do it again.

Some friends I did tell because I thought I could tell them, but the way it went around the school a bit I couldn't trust them.

[Chaocontrol6]

My parents found out, I wasn't going to tell them though, although they weren't happy about what I was doing they did try and help me the best they could with what I had done so far, what the problems were and how to get over it.

Made me feel better at the time, just hard to keep a promise.

I know it's harder at school, I got a nasty fear someone that knows will tell a teacher, and if THAT happens I'll probably go and lose my temper big time at whoever told the teacher and probably just go back to my old ways.

[marshmallowfluff]

my mum read my diary, which is how she found out.
she was nice about it - she asked me one night "sarah, have you been cutting your legs?" but i denied it. Obviously she knew i was lying as it had said in my diary several times "cut last night"
she was supportive - she went to the doctors and i saw a T a few times. She spoke to school and they were great.
the only thing she did that pissed me off was she worried far too much and she got more involved than she needed to be. she used to go through my bin when i was at school to look for "evidence" that i'd si'ed, although she never said anything to me about it, and i only found out that she used to do this after she died.
she was great most of the time though, minus the invasion of privacy.