Things Left Unsaid *LA*

[Helba]

My heart will be here ready with open arms, when your ready and willing to come back...

[Twilight]

C- there's so much i wanted to say to you before you left and now my chance is gone. There were friends that i had for 13 years that i cared less about when they left than i do about you leaving. We've gone through so much together over the past 4 years and it kills me that i won't see you anymore. You know me better than anyone else, even the things i don't want you to know. You can tell what i'm thinking from a nod or a delay in my answer and you know that no matter what when i'm with you, i'm happier than i've ever been. You were with me through some of my hardest times and i understood when you needed to step back for awhile to straighten things out. you kissed me and made me think we had something more, something i'd wanted from the start and then you faded away for so long. I was lost without you and then you came back. As we moved on, i let my guard down and honestly thought that maybe things would be different this time. That when you said you were sorry for the way you were the first time around you meant it. but now i'm not so sure. I trusted you and gave you more of me than i've ever given anyone else. Your 70 miles away now and you seem completely ready to leave me behind like everything else you don't want to bring to college. So much of me hates you for what you've done to me, when you knew how i felt and you knew what would happen. but you know i can never hate you for long. Most of it is fear that i'll be replaced. you'll find another girl to laugh and joke with. one you don't have to worry about slipping back into old harmful habits. I honestly think that i love you, and you're breaking my heart by completely leaving me behind. you won't talk to me or even let me know how college is so far. Nobody likes to be forgotten. I wish you would just give me a straight answer instead of playing these games and telling me one thing before you leave and doing something else now that you're gone. I love you, and i will always love you. you mean the world to me and i would do anything for you. i just wish you could tell me you felt the same way about me

[capricorn]

Can't you just ... reply?
I mean, jeez. We're supposed to be your best friends. We're supposed to be the ones that you want to hang out with, that you enjoy being around. I guess that's not true anymore. Or maybe you're just being rude.
I guess you always thought we don't count as a "social life", because you just want to think of yourself as an outsider and a freak, when you are one of the more normal people I know.
And please. Everyone knows you "hate" That Group. We KNOW.
Even though you talk to half of them and seem perfectly friendly with them to me ... you still feel the need to keep going on and on about how much you hate them, I mean, just grow up. We never have to see them again.
It's not cute and just ... get over it, please.

[Twilight]

what've you done to me? why is it that when ever my phone rings every part of me hopes it's you and then i'm devasted even though i know it won't be.

you had your first day of college and you couldn't even tell me how it was. do you really just want to completely cut me out of your life? If you do just FUCKING tell me instead of hoping that i'll figure out your fucked up plan

[Birdie]

I know you're not right for me, I know you'll never love me, so why do I still love you? Why does your smile still make me melt? Why does seeing your name make my heart flutter? I don't get this way very often. But I genuinely have no control over the way I feel about you.

[Beasty]

1. I would really like to see you but perhaps this weekend isn't the time. I want to tell you that, regardless, though.

2. Yes? No? Maybe so? I can't decide if I need you more than I dislike imposing upon you. I NEED you. It hurts me so terribly to believe that you only do this out of obligation and yet I haven't retracted the request. Please ask me about it tomorrow.

[Stawberry_Lollipops]

So I apologised and pretended like I didn't mean what I said because I don't want to hurt you more than your already hurting. I lied though because I did mean what I said. You are queen bitch sometimes and you do take things out on other people sometimes. You can say fucking mean things and though I know I'm not perfect either/have my moments but at least I can acknowledge that you know?

[stripysocks4christ]

C - please please please answer my emails... i cant bear the thought of you leaving me. i need you to be around. but i hate to intrude or be a burden. i wish that sometimes you would make the first move. please ask me about it tomorrow.

[capricorn]

PLEASE.
For fuck's sake get over your latent homophobia and your latent sexual repression and your issues about never having been in a relationship, and grow the holy fuck up.
And you know? I thought we were supposed to be the golden group. The group that loved each other and cared about each other and didn't do bitchy things behind each other's backs, I thought we were meant to be real and upfront and chilled. And I thought you believed in that.
I am honestly really disappointed in you. That you would just throw that away.
You can be lovely. You can be a great friend. But you need to grow up and get over whatever it is.
I've apologised to you. I've taken responsibility for things I shouldn't have said.
You have never taken ownership of your actions and I'm just over it.
Take your passive aggression. Take your bitchiness. Take your drama. I am not interested in playing the bad guy so you can come off all sweetly aggreived. I've been there before and never again. Just leave it. All of it.

[Twilight]

how'd we go from talking all the time to me being afraid to send you a text about an inside joke we have? i hate how much things have changed and how there's nothing i can do about it. i don't want to be afraid to try and talk to you. I just want to know what you want so we can both be on the same page. why is that so hard for us to ever do?

[volta]

read between the lines.
come sit with me, study with me, do something.
because right now i feel so alone, and i just can't say that to you.
not yet.

[Birdie]

To be completely honest, my heart sank a little when I noticed that you have a new girlfriend.

[Stawberry_Lollipops]

Like, what the hell?! You fucking bastard!

How dare you? What sort of satisfaction do you get from doing this?
Do you want everyone to think your dead? Why would you even bother?
Are you trying to tie yourself to them in death because when they were alive you never gave a flying fuck about them. Do you regret that and now your're trying to claim you were the nice, loyal, caring son.
I can't believe I stood up for you before, you didn't deserve it. I hate you now.

I wish you weren't apart of this family. You stupid, fucking, drunk, lying, ungrateful man.
You can.go.to.hell.

[Butterfly.]

Like I am actually going to tell you what the matter is, because it's partly because of you! If you actually gave a shit, you would have tried a little harder. You should know me better by now. You should know that I wouldn't just not reply because I was busy. Why now do you decided to just use texts, when you know your phone is shit and is unreliable? You always call, and now you decide not to? You could have had one of the others call me/message me, if it was such a problem. I don't understand why the sudden change in dynamics between all of us. I don't know what the fuck has changed!?

---

And you... you swore this wouldn't get in the way, that things would keep going and that it wouldn't have an effect, especially on that, and now look. You deserve to be disappointed, you deserve to have gotten that, it's your own fucking fault! How did I let it get this way? How did I let it consume everything?

[Twilight]

I miss you. plain and simple. so why can't i tell you that?

[Isis]

don't leave me.come here and hug me.i'm falling apart, it hurts so much i can't even cry.

[Birdie]

When you ask if I'm okay and I say yes...it's a lie.

[capricorn]

Please stop taking everything I say/do in the wrong way ... I love you so much, can't you believe it?

[Annybelly]

its not enough. but its so much more than i deserve.

[Helba]

B, I still love you with all of my heart; I can't say it any other way. I do understand you want me to move on so I will stop bothering you with messages, I feel them unwanted. I made a hard choice coming to grips with the fact things won't return and you don't wish to give it another chance...but if it's how you want it all I wish is you happiness. Still every 11:11 I make my wish but it has changed to something else, I wish every night for you to find happiness in this life just like you once gave me because everyone deserves to feel that way. I almost called to tell you this, but I am the only want creation contact so I felt it would be forcing you to talk to me so I chose not too.

Savage garden - crash and burn

PS: after you give it a listen if it still tears at your heart, and your eyes well. I'd gladly take a text or a call.