New wishing thread! ~ advice to the person above you.

Wandering · Post by **Wandering** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 6:32 pm

I wish i could teel the people i love the way i feel before it tears me apart and i can't speak about it without crying or yelling.

I wish I could walk away from problems before I exaserbate them...(make them worse)(i don't thinks thats spelt right...i just wanted to use a big wod...sorry. lol)

Have you tried writing them a letter to let them know how you feel? That way you can think through what you want to say, and don't have to control your emotions while speaking to them.

Can you think of any practical ways of reminding yourself to get out before you do exacerbate (?sp) the problems? Though I bet a lot of the time you're not doing as much to make it worse as you think!

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ok me.

I wish I could decide whether or not to stop SIing. In so many ways I don't see the purpose in stopping.

Andi x

whoareyou?doyouevenknow? · Post by **whoareyou?doyouevenknow?** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 7:14 pm

Wandering wrote:
ok me.

I wish I could decide whether or not to stop SIing. In so many ways I don't see the purpose in stopping.

Andi x

you could draw up a list, listing the ways si helps, and the ways it doesnt, do you feel that you can cope without siing, then i would say that is a good indication for you to stop. sorry im not being much help here...

i wish i knew how to tell a friend that im not allowed to be friends with them anymore...and it probably is for the best....

holly_in_the_dark · Post by **holly_in_the_dark** » Sun Jun 18, 2006 5:23 pm

You can never tell something like that the easy way, the longer you wait the harder it'll get. Tell him you care (if you do) and that out of sight doesn't mean he's outta heart.

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I wish I could cry

red umbrellas · Post by **red umbrellas** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 11:02 am

it sounds really weird, but for me, sometimes cutting an onion helsps....sometimes the way it makes your eyes leak helps you physicalise the inner crying, if you know what i mean. you could also try watching a sad film/reading a sad book etc...perhaps one that has made you cry in the past?

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I wish I could work out exactly what I want from life, and what is best for me.

silvertears · Post by **silvertears** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 10:19 pm

Go with your gut feeling. Thats lways helped me out. I can feel that somthing s wrong but when I still g an do it b/c it seems lik the best thing to doI regret it in te end and wish I would ahve tuck with m gutt feeling. also try reading some self help books lol weird i know but Its always help me come back to grips on who I am. not tat I ahve totaly figured it out lol
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I wish that my new job will go good and that I will learn how to run the computers and be good at it. Also to become healthier in how eat.

green · Post by **green** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 11:27 am

Practice makes perfect when it comes to things like computers... try not to worry too much about being bad at it- you may be a complete whiz in your new job and be pleasantly surprised!
With healthy eating, I think the most important thing is to try new things to get excited and motivated about changing your diet. Its important to enjoy what you're eating as well as it being healthy. If you find healthy things you like, you'll be much more likely to stick to it.

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I wish I could stop living in daydreams.... I wish I could find comfort in my life in things that are real, not in things that I know will never happen.

cariad · Post by **cariad** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 9:23 pm

Maybe you could try writing down all the things that are real, definate and important to you in your life. Write a list of things that makes you feel happy, safe and comfoted. It could be people or smaller things in nature and stuff like that. Then try adding things to the list, if you can't think of many - could you start a new hobby, activity or past-time that would prvoke those feelings?

I hope that helps.

___________________________________________________________

I wish that when i -know- i am being moody, irrational, sulky and silly i could snap put of it and stop it before i take my temper out on someone else.

cariad · Post by **cariad** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 9:24 pm

(The double posting was me trying to get the pizza sauce off the mouse button

..not a good idea to eat at the computer.

)

silvertears · Post by **silvertears** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 10:15 pm

Try taking leaving the area when you reel that way.. Get alone and take a couple deap breaths. get quiet and kinda come back to trems with yourself.
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I wish I could sleep well tonight, and feel refreshed tomorrow.. relaxed at my job and have a good time and happy day. all a product of good sleep!

~BrokenGlass~ · Post by **~BrokenGlass~** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 1:22 am

Try to develop a routine for every night before you go to bed. Nothing sugary for atleast 3 hours before bed, warm bath, maybe a warm drink like a hot chocolate and have you tried Kalms? (sort of herbal ish sleeping pills)... try not to eat for about 3 hours before you sleep too, that could help.

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ok me - i wish i could control my anger, i can't stop myself from snapping at people and i can't stop myself lashing out emotionally and physically if that's the right way of putting it.

Skyeler · Post by **Skyeler** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 1:36 am

When someone says something that makes you angry, count to ten in your head before you say anything, it sounds stupid, but it works, for me at least

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I wish...

I guess it all sums up into I wish I knew how to make my wife feel better.

Anactoria · Post by **Anactoria** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 5:23 am

Skyeler wrote: I wish...

I guess it all sums up into I wish I knew how to make my wife feel better.

Maybe just try doing simple little things for her. Randomly buying flowers, or leaving little post-it notes around the house with a few words scribbled on them. Doing something special together. Distract her from whatever might be wrong.

I wish...

-That I could learn to have hope that I'll be in a relationship again.
-That I could stop being so negitive.
-That I could find the courage to finally start seeing a therapist.

katja · Post by **katja** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 11:01 am

I wish...

-That I could learn to have hope that I'll be in a relationship again.
-That I could stop being so negitive.
-That I could find the courage to finally start seeing a therapist.

relationships come and go, its not like your never going to be in one again, even though it can feel like that, your still young. If you wanna meet someone that bad their not gonna drop into your lap either, go out and get em! start new things and go new places that would help you meet new people.

I had a good trick for this in therapy,
1. write down your negative thought
2. write what facts you know that would make this true
3. write what facts would mean its not true E.g someone had told you before you had a really small butt.
4. then write how you feel now

seeing a therapist isnt so tough, I was pretty scared when I first went to the doctors about my self harm, but you come to realise its just like everything else- doctors have seen it a million times before! You may feel like your the crazyest person in the world, but doctors get to see some proper nutters, and I'm sure someone as nice as you wouldnt phase them one bit. Therapists don't pressure you to talk about stuff you dont want too either, they just help you out with problems your having right now, you rarely talk about the past in therapy unless you want too.

*******I wish
I wasn't so jealous of my boyfriend for being a really cool artist and everyone liking him. Before I met him I felt like I was good at stuff, now everything I'm good at pales in comparison to him. I can't handle being second best, espeshially when everyones talking about him all the time.
I wish I had something only I knew how to do. My therapist says I should work on my self esteem but I dunno how to do that, and I dont want to feel better, I want to be better! its really bugging me.........

b3autifu2l37 · Post by **b3autifu2l37** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 4:23 am

you should never feel second best to anyone. instead of focusing on your boyfriend's work and talents, focus on yours. i bet you are a brilliant artist (always wished i was good at art)! here's a quote i found on this board (sorry to whoever had it first i forget!) that might help: "Judging ourselves isn't helpful, and it anything, keeps us stuck." you can never feel insuperior to someone without your consent.

*i wish that i could learn to love and embrace myself for who i am and stop trying to pick myself apart and create an image of who i WANT to be.
*i also wish i had the motivation to kick old habits and not be so afraid of change.

moll_drum · Post by **moll_drum** » Fri Jul 14, 2006 6:30 am

*i wish that i could learn to love and embrace myself for who i am and stop trying to pick myself apart and create an image of who i WANT to be.
*i also wish i had the motivation to kick old habits and not be so afraid of change.
_________________

It might help if you write a list of things that you do like about yourself, ask for help thinking of positives if you are not in a place to find them yourself. For instance, on bus you are always very coherent and give helpful advice. WHat is the image you want to be? is it realistic. Why do you want it? Can you think of ways to acheive reasonable goals and recognise them? Can you think of ways that you are actually better than the image you want to be?

For the creation of new habits i would suggest starting with small manageable things- something you can work towards in 15 minutes a day. Reward yourself- use the hugs challenge, give yourself a star, purchase something for every week so you note your acheivements. I think change is easier to handle if you control some of it.

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I wish that i could stop loving people and being hurt when they leave. I wish that i did not keep doing things that hurt the people I care about. I wish that I could somehow limit the damage i do in my interactions with people.

SarahBee · Post by **SarahBee** » Sat Jul 15, 2006 9:45 pm

moll_drum wrote: I wish that i could stop loving people and being hurt when they leave. I wish that i did not keep doing things that hurt the people I care about. I wish that I could somehow limit the damage i do in my interactions with people.

Loving people is a good thing! If you didn't love people, your life would be really empty. As for being hurt when they leave, if it's leaving as in literally moving away or going somewhere, find some way to keep in touch, like the internet or phone. If you mean leaving as in falling out or going your seperate ways, all you can really do is look back on the good times you did have, and try to move on. Perhaps writing a letter to the person (sending it isn't necessary) would help you get all your hurt feelings out in the open and help you feel better? That seems to work quite well for me.

You probably don't do as much damage as you think you do. The only way I can think of is to think about what you're doing before you do it, and once you've done something, since there is no way to take it back, just apologise and try to work it out with the person. And don't dwell on what happened; it won't fix anything.

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As for me...

I wish I knew how to get up the nerve to talk to the people I want to talk to about my problems and my feelings.
I wish I could stop blaming myself for everything that goes wrong.
I wish I could trust people more and stop being so paranoid that I'm not liked by them or that they don't care anymore/never did.

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Sun Jul 16, 2006 2:41 am

SarahBee wrote:As for me...

I wish I knew how to get up the nerve to talk to the people I want to talk to about my problems and my feelings.
I wish I could stop blaming myself for everything that goes wrong.
I wish I could trust people more and stop being so paranoid that I'm not liked by them or that they don't care anymore/never did.

Have you tried asking people if they are willing to talk? For example saying, "I've been having a hard time lately and I was wondering if it is okay to talk to you about it sometime." How about bringing it up via email or a letter? Your approach might be different if you are trying to talk to your parent vs. a friend. (You might want to check out the families and friends board to get some advice there.)

One thing that has helped me stop blaming myself for everything is to repeat to myself "I can't control everything." Then I spend some time thinking about what things I really could have controlled, and what things are beyond my control.

For me, trusting people takes some time. If your friends say things that indicate they care and act like they care, then they probably do care. I know it's easy to say that and harder to internalize it. Does reminding yourself of caring things that the people in your life have done help? I know that looking at the drawings and cards my friends have given me is a big help.

I hope some of that is helpful to you.

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I wish I could feel more comfortable around people I don't know well.
I wish I could make phone calls to make appointments, order food, etc. without being terrified.

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 12:00 pm

I guess.. the thing about conquering fear is wondering what it is that's stopping you.

When you ring up somewhere to order something, what exactly are you afraid of? What's the very worst possible thing that could happen?

Maybe you could write out a few case scenarios.

A lot of people don't feel comfortable around people they don't know well. I know I don't. It's not an uncommon feeling. Chances are, those very people aren't feeling so comfortable being around you either.

Social activity is like playing the piano. You have to practise it to keep up your ability. You have to know some basic repetoire to show people your talents, & if you happen to give up for a while for whatever reason, give your fingers a chance to learn how to move again.

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I wish I knew how to keep going when everything falls apart at once.
I wish depression didn't get in my way of looking at the future and seeing the possibilities.
I wish I didn't feel boxed in a corner with nowhere to go.

barnabygirl · Post by **barnabygirl** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 2:22 am

I wish I knew how to keep going when everything falls apart at once.
I wish depression didn't get in my way of looking at the future and seeing the possibilities.
I wish I didn't feel boxed in a corner with nowhere to go.

the first one you allready know you can do, since you are being here today reading this. even though it feels like you dont know how to do it,, you are actually doing it as your thinking it

Depression wont always be in your way if you work with it in therapy of by your self. maybe you should focus on the first possibility to get out of depression? then once ur out look at further possibilites.. ?

the only person that can change how you feel is your self.
see if you can get out of that corner. ask your self, is it comfertable here? does it make me feel safe feeling like this? do i really want to get out? am i stopping my self, because i feel safe like this?

i know these are all hard things to do.. but like my sig says,, down like a fur-rug,, up like a tiger...

then my wish

i wish the p.docs would make their minds up to whtas wrong with mer so they could start threating me for it...

i wish i didnt get so confused with all these diagnosis stuff,, makes me wonder who is right and wrong

i wish my legs could sit still so i could get some sleep soon..

i wish i was skinny

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Sun Aug 20, 2006 2:59 am

barnarbygirl wrote:i wish the p.docs would make their minds up to whtas wrong with mer so they could start threating me for it...

i wish i didnt get so confused with all these diagnosis stuff,, makes me wonder who is right and wrong

i wish my legs could sit still so i could get some sleep soon..

i wish i was skinny

Diagnosis stuff can be helpful. Other times it can really put a label on you & try to shove you in a box that is NOT helpful. Sometimes you have to forget the names of what's wrong with you and just get on with trying to live. I mean, if you have a flu bug, the exact name and kind of flu bug you have doesn't change the fact that if you have a cough, you need cough medicine, if you have a fever you need a cold towel on your forehead & if you have a sore throat you need honey, right? Labels aren't everything.

It's hard living with an ED. I know that, believe me. I spend so much time wishing I was skinny, thinking it will solve all my problems & if I can just be pretty and beautiful everyone will love me and everything will be okay. Bullshit. There are really thin beautiful people out there who feel like shit all the time, & there are people who aren't socially considered attractive, who are comfortable with who they are and are the happiest people on earth. It's how you feel on the inside. If you can follow a healthy diet & lifestyle, you will feel confident, and beautiful, and I promise everyone else will see it too. An ED is not a diet. It makes you feel tired, sick, guilty and unhappy. You will never feel skinny enough, you will never feel good enough.

*sighs* me..

Well, I'd do well to listen to my own ED advice

I want a reprieve from depression. I really do. Just .. a day or two would be nice.

I'm sick of being told it's my responsibility & I have to make it happen.

I want to effortlessly have a guilt-free, good time of life for a few days and I don't want to have to WORK for that.

I wish that wasn't too much to ask.

New wishing thread! ~ advice to the person above you.

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