Things Left Unsaid *LA*

[enola21]

i needed you. i needed affection validation love acceptance. i needed so much more. instead, i was the one who had to keep it together when you weren't there. or when you hurt me. i am stronger than you'll ever know, the fact that i am here today proves that. i wish things were different. but they're not.

[Stefani140]

Seriously, just shut up. Your paranoia is driving me absolutely nuts and I'm not in the mood to be patient with it...so just shut up. I shouldn't have to tell you how much worse things have been for me to convince you that whatever paper cut you have is not deadly. Go be paranoid to someone else, lately I'm sick of it.

ETA: Oh, and while I'm thinking about it...its not very sexy for my man to panic every time he gets a hang nail. And not sexy means no horny, I'm feeling way more like your mother lately than your future wife.

[Stefani140]

I am so disappointed in you today. Apparently "I'll be here a few hours early and may not have much time" is too confusing. Here I sit after 2 texts and nearly an hour and a half later and you're nowhere to be found. You better not let me down even more by not even showing up at all.

[DecemberLivy]

I'm starting to really, really resent you. It's not even hate, it's resentment. I am still in love with you but after 18 months together I can't help but see things clearer. Yes, I've gained a lot from being with you. But I have paid for it as well, you cost me a lot. I love you and I never want to see you upset or hurting so I go out of my way to make sure your life is 100% carefree. I help you with your work, I do your laundry, I look after you. I didn't mind any of this but every day I'm becoming more and more aware of how much of myself, the things and the people I love I sacrifice for you. Bloody hell, I give every single bit of myself in this relationship and most of the time I feel like I get absolutely nothing back. I don't know how it can be possible for a person to be totally in love with someone and totally resent them at the same time, but I'm starting to feel that way every day. Either somethings got to change or I'm going to crack.

[[iamacliche]]

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don't you dare send me a fucking text when i'm on my day off having a go at me you fucking little arsehole. there is no need for it. i've worked my arse off every single day and have one of my days taken off me because the stupid arsehole sous chef can't do a fucking rota properly. i don't need you telling me when shit isn't done when half the time i come in there is loads for me to do. i don't give a shit if you're doing it cos you're unhappy or because you don't like me. i really don't care. but i do not need you having a go at me. i'm sick of ALL THE FUCKING DRAMA. you're all hot headed fucks that need to chill the fuck out. how come it's always me that gets all the shit and have you complaining at me that you've had to stay on your break? so what. i generally have to do that because T is a fucking knob that thinks giving me jobs before i my break so i clearly don't get one and then he fucks off. i'm sick of doing 12 hour days with no break and you complain about it for one shift? grow the fuck up you dick.
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[Stefani140]

I am so tired of all this bullshit. I am tired of being the person that you throw everything on and then bitch that I don't get enough done. Well...insane thought here...if I wasn't busy doing 50 other things that weren't in my job description maybe I could!! I am tired of being the only person who knows how to call a damn customer around here. It's not my fault I am the only one with enough brains and common sense to do it correctly. I am tired of no one telling me I need to call a customer until 2 weeks later, and then they don't even remember what they needed me for so its a complete waste of my time. Screw it all, I am so tired of being the doormat around here.

[strider 151]

i wonder if u tryed to kiss her on ur first date, like u did to me
i wonder if u'v already pushed her boundaries, like u did to me
i wonder if u'v said all the same things, about how this is the best relationship u'v ever had, and smiled at her jokes, and cheered her up while shes down, like u did to me
i wonder if shes told u her secrets, like i did to you
i wonder if shes cooked for u, like i did to you
or if u bought her flowers and pretty necklaces, like u did to me
and i wonder if, when u text her to break up with her, that u will never talk to her again, and not care if she sometimes still crys over you, like i still do
i hope she makes you into a better person, cos it sucks that i was the experiment, just another girl getting her heart ripped out cos a guy fell for her and yet didnt really love her, spun her a web of golden lies and faulse promises, and failed to fullfill any of them.
i wonder if u ever think of me, or wish i was her, or wish u had done things better
i wonder if u sometimes feel bitter, like i used to, or if ur so past caring that when u look at me u just feel empty, like i now do.

it may be a small victory, but when i saw you on sunday, i felt nothing. i will keep that feeling of triamph. that feeling will keep me warm when bitterness creeps in, when i think of all the lies u will spin this girl and hope that she knows better then i did

i never will understand why u cut me out, but if thats what u had to do then fine, i understand, i once did that to someone because of the hurt, the pain, i couldnt bear to think about them because the hatred just overwhelmed me. i think i had a good excuse. you, what did i do to you thats made me so impossible to talk to?

yes i deleted you on facebook, but thats because i needed to, otherwise i would be able to see you tell her the things u used to tell me, and i dont want to see that. i still have ur number, and skype. yet u blank me.

im wasting my time writing this, i dont really care for u, i just pray that that poor girl doesnt end up like me, wondering what she did wrong

or maybe she will be the one to text you that she no longer wants to be with you, and u will realise what you did to me.

maybe

or maybe u will stay with her.

but with all my heart i hope that at some point in ur life, maybe when u meet the woman u wanna marry, or the 10th girl u've felt up, in however many years time, i really hope you feel ashamed of how far u said it was ok to go. u said u have boundaries, i dont see them. i see nothing. you became angry when i used to say that, but its because it was true. u knew it.

i wish i had the guts to send this to you, but i wont. i dont wanna hurt u cos of ur family problems that u hide behind. im too nice to you. i think u need a slap. i hate how you make everyone think ur someone amazing, but when it comes down to it, your just the same as all the other guys. shame.

i wish u would ask me back so i could turn around and say no. no way. i wish i could tell u everything u did wrong, all the things u lyed to me about, i wish i could take back everything i gave to you, i wish i could undo the things i said to you, the promises u made me break, the things i let u do, that u let me do, the people i met and got close to before u dumped me and now i dont know them anymore.

i wish u could see me cry and realise how i really did think i loved u, and yet now u dont even wanna talk to me and dont even care about how i am or what im doing

I WANT JUSTICE

im sick of being the one who gets hurt. its not fun. i dont enjoy it.

the reason i flirt and joke with so many guys online is because you dont get any of this shit with it. i dont have to be rejected, its not serious, it doesnt matter if i say the wrong thing, or too much, or not enough, it doesnt matter if they promise me the world because its not the same.

i really wish i could make eveyone understand.

why do i always feel so alone?

[capricorn]

Ohhhh whyyyy do you have to come over and be all gorgeous and stressed and hug-needing and DISTRACT THE FUCK OUT OF ME when I just got back down to working?!


Ugh I hate crushes and shit.
I'd just ask him out already if it weren't for his tortured relationship with my friend
LISTEN TO YOUR HEAD CAPRI

[capricorn]

Ohhhh whyyyy do you have to come over and be all gorgeous and stressed and hug-needing and DISTRACT THE FUCK OUT OF ME when I just got back down to working?!


Ugh I hate crushes and shit.
I'd just ask him out already if it weren't for his tortured relationship with my friend
LISTEN TO YOUR HEAD CAPRI

Went and told him. He has a crush on me too DEAR GODS.
Idk how I get myself into these situationsssss

[Stefani140]

seriously just fuck you. don't you dare discount and ignore and dismiss my feelings and belittle me by dismissing my point of view as "overreacting" and then ask when we're getting to your feelings?! fuck off. and don't act like you care a single bit about my feelings, if you did you wouldn't have discounted them, so screw off and I'll deal with my feelings on my own since they obviously don't matter to you.

and I'm not talking about it with you right now because the truth is....I can't trust you with what I feel right now and if I'm going to stay safe tonight I'll express it to someone I feel safe with at the moment, and it ain't you.

[strider 151]

i dont understand why u wont talk to me....

am i so bad?

[daisy_chain]

I am so scared of messing up.

[strider 151]

ok...why did you say hey if you were just gonna log off? why even say hey in the first place...? i dont think you know what you want.


also, you should have a slap for lying to me. wrong timing? not meant to be? huh....but its the right timing for her?? what makes her so special?

pfft

im torn between loving you and hating you. i dont even know how i love you. or why.

well, whatever you think or feel for her, I had you first.

stupid, petty i know, not like me at all, but you just irritate me. BLAH

[Stefani140]

How the hell do I know why I call less people than the others on the same function? I work the cases that I am given and I work them the way they need to be worked. Maybe I'm less lazy than the others. Maybe I have more experience and so I end up denying more. I don't know! And what exactly am I supposed to talk about in this meeting of yours if I have no idea why its happening?! I am not God believe it or not boss, I just do what I'm supposed to that's it.

[VerMOZZica]

I wish you had never said that to me.I think that hurt me more than anything else.I wish I could forgive and forget.But it just hurts so bad.I want to forgive you.I really do.

[mande]

Thanks for always being there for me. I'll be there for you any way that I can since you're seriously such an amazing friend. Thank you.

[Annybelly]

I don't think I like you, not in that way. But at the same time, I wouldn't say no, and I do want our talking to go further than that. I pretend I'm happy to wait for a proper relationship, but, actually, I wouldn't say no to you...

[Lynds]

Him: "Well you've pretty much managed to talk me down"
Me: "I'm not trying to piss on your parade I'm just telling you what other people have told me before when I've though about that"
Me (in my head): Wow that cut to the fucking bone. I'm being realistic and given that you haven't even been able to pay me a measley 90 quid a week consitently how on earth do you think you can afford to buy a 155000 house to do up? I hate how you make me feel guilty for expressing my feelings and opinions. I am NOT stupid or worthless.

[Butterfly.]

I feel so guilty. You did this for me and it's making things so much worse. I'm so sorry.

[Just Pomegranates]

I'm pretty sure you were just saying that poem was good to be nice because you're a T. I don't really feel like I can take that comment literally because I don't know if was offered sincerely or just as one of those nice-things-you're-expected-to-say situations to be polite.