ED and money worries

[slimgracie]

Does anyone else feel like cutting back on food when they have money worries? I had to get my car repaired which was very expensive, and suddenly I have almost no money in my bank account. I can just barely to afford my utilities bills. I can't go to the grocery store until my next paycheck - well I probably could, but I'll feel really nervous with almost NOTHING in the account. And I'm thinking, "Hmm, if I just eat even LESS then the food will last longer... I can drink coffee and tea, and that will fill me up so I'm not hungry..."

But I know that's a bad idea! Still, it often happens that the first costly thing I think of cutting is food.

Also, I have a group of friends who go out for lunch every Sunday after church, and I always look forward to seeing them... But I always feel sad or nervous about spending the money on food. It's not so much an eating disorder as a paying-for-food disorder.

I'm hungry. I should go find something to eat in my fridge or cabinets.

[slimgracie]

Also, I feel like when I'm this broke, I OUGHT to be starving myself, or rationing my food conservatively. It's crazy. I'm even sitting here really thirsty - I'll go get some water in a minute - and thinking, "That's what people do - make sacrifices. This is what it's like to be out living on your own, the bohemian life. This is normal, everyone goes through it." And it seems kind of cool and romantic, being hungry and thirsty and feeling kind of faint, dizzy. Like I'm a character in La Boheme, a "starving artist".

Or sometimes if I'm feeling fat (even though I know I'm not), after a while I'll get hungry but I'll think to myself, "It's good to be feeling hungry," like I ought to be denying myself food, because it's the stoical thing to do.