A really bad day in the battle of SI *SI*

[MoonlightMelody]

I have been fighting SI for years now (about 13y) I have been SI Free for 6 monyhs and 1 1/2 weeks and yesterday I almost lost the battle BUT I DID NOT CUT MYSELF.

My brothers and mother are all fighting and one would think that a 27y old would not really be affected by all of this, but it hurts. Our family has always been held together by a string ( I am sure many can relate). I felt a tear in my heart, called my mom, and found out the family is at an emotionaly abusive war. I have tried so hard to escape the madness by moving 3 hours away from all the shit I hear. My boyfriend is so understanding but my family is in crisis. I am trying so hard not to cut. I do not want to lose this battle over my brother, but a struggle it continues to be for me to keep my arms blood free. I find myself at night looking up at the stars and wanting to sing a "Moonlight Melody".

I need a little support form someone who understands SI and who is an outside third party of this whole situation. Please BUS, can someone give me some strong words to hold on to. It is not very often I ask for help...but I am today.

With my heart on my sleave and my arms extended.
MoonlightMelody

[eyeris]

I'm so sorry it's been a rough day for you, but you showed a lot of restraint and self-control by resisting the urge, so good for you. I know how family fighting can really make you want to crawl away, and the urge to SI begins, but you have taken a major step by not cutting. Just think, maybe next time the urge comes, you can think about this and how hard it was to resist and how terrible you felt, because up against all that you still managed to empower yourself by not giving in. So good for you, and I hope things get a bit better for you. Take care of yourself,
-e

[Violet218]

I dont have any strong helpful words at this time in the morning i'm afraid - i just wanted to drop by and let you know that I read.

I hope that things are a bit calmer this morning.

well done on resisting your urges - I totally understand the difficulty and pain of trying not to - and you have managed it for so long! it's an amazing and incredible achievement.

i know its hard not to be drawn into the lives of others, but it's good that you took a step back and removed yourself from the situation, by moving further away.

take care of you sweetie - you are what matters most.

Violetxxx

[bluefairy]

Hey hon! I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all of this. But, I am really impressed that you've held out on cutting. You are so much stronger than you think! If you need someone, pm me.
Stay strong!!!

[MoonlightMelody]

Thank you for all of your support. You have no idea how grateful I am for reading your thoughts. It is BUS that has helped me to stay strong and not cut like I did and you guys have helped me get through yet another mental battle with myself. I appreciate all of you coming to bring me support. Thank you very much. I am feeling better today but the family is pressing down on me even herder. I wish they would leave me out of it. The emotional abuse is killing me and I wish it to dissappear. Why can't they attack someone else for a change. Thank You bluefairy, eyeris, and violet218 for being stong enough to help someone you don't even know. That shows how far you guys have come. If you ever need anything please feel free to pm me. Thank you for your stregth and kind words.
Moonlight Melody