How to cope with having no friends?

BlackKat13 · Post by **BlackKat13** » Thu Mar 18, 2004 4:50 pm

I'm feeling really alone lately, all my IRL friends, including my best friend, have moved away or left me (All 3 of them) and I'm not finding much comfort online, because my online friends are all distant lately too (Maybe it's just me) I've just been feeling really lonely, and craving company, how do you cope with feeling so alone?

rin · Post by **rin** » Thu Mar 18, 2004 5:06 pm

Mmmm... I'm sorry I don't think I have much advice for you...
Just wanted you to know I read and :1hug3:

if you want some.
Try to remember you're not alone- there are people that care about you.
I know how it feels to feel like there is no one and it sucks to say the least.
Depending on what you like to do/ how comfortable you are in groups- maybe you could join a group or a club or something in your area... certain types of groups or classes are bound to have at least a couple friendly people in them- especially groups that are for helping other people- like charities and things... don't know if there's a lot of this in your area though.
Hope things are getting better!
.eRiN.

RickTheTwinkie · Post by **RickTheTwinkie** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 12:08 am

I hate to be a little depressing... here's my experience.

Frankly, the only ways to deal with lonliness is the learn to be friends with yourself or to fill your life so full that you have no time to think about it. I've sort of done both.

To fix the no friends problem... make friends! lol Its a stupid thing to say, but thats the only other advice I can give. LOL, don't ask me for advice on making friends, tho'. I'm no expert.

Anyways, here's some *hugs* if you want them and take a bite outta a twinkie. Twinkies help ease the pain better than chocolate does.

ranebo · Post by **ranebo** » Tue Mar 23, 2004 12:52 am

I'm in exactly the same place you are right now. I came on to post a topic exactly like this actually. I wish I had some advice to give you or something. But hey atleast you knoe someones feeling the exact same as you. ::hugz::

RoxyRed · Post by **RoxyRed** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 3:02 am

I am sorry to tell you, but unfortunately we are in the same boat. I have chronic loneliness. I seriously do not have a friend. I have acquiantants, whom I would just say "hello" to if I saw them somewhere.

So, here is what I do: I play with my dog, a lot, and I give her lots of attention. I also read and write in my journal or I write my poetry. Basically, I do things for myself that I like to do just to keep myself occupied. And, I nap frequently. Some people may think that's unhealthy, but when I'm constantly lonely, I have to do little things you know. I also visit this board a lot.

Also, ask yourself is the reason you don't have friends is because you won't allow anyone to be your friend. If you answer,yes, then there is another solution. I hope that helps a little bit.

Danielle

pinkllama · Post by **pinkllama** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 5:30 am

Honestly, I think if you walked around and just observed, you'd find that a vast number of ppl out there share in this loneliness. Most ppl are looking for love and affection....
The best thing that I've found is learning to love on them, and reach out...*shrugs* I work in a deli, and I find that even if I feel friendless and lonely, I find simple joy knowing that I've made someone else smile and feel appreciated....this may sound dumb, but I KNOW that some of the ppl who come to my deli, come their because of they feel the love that I try to pour out on them (if its a good day and I'm not wacko

) The key to having friends I think is being a friend. Its a difficult thing....but I think well worth it....its something *I especially* have to work on.

taz · Post by **taz** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 6:10 am

I know exactly how you feel. I moved to a new city where I know absolutely no one about 5 months ago. I haven't made any friends yet. Acquaintances - yes. Friends - no. Not those wonderful people who don't mind you dropping by just so you can to talk to them about nothing. The only people in my life at the moment are those who you say hello to when you pass them on the street.

How to cope with it? I don't know. It's nice to know though that I am not alone. That still doesn't help much with the lonliness though does it? The short term solution for me though is - adopting a pet.

eyeris · Post by **eyeris** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 8:04 pm

I kind of know what you mean. But I'm pushing my "friends" away, one by one. I'm getting a new apartment next year, and I think I'm going to get a kitten. Seems like pets love you no matter what, and they are your very own fuzzy thing. Maybe consider? (unless allergies get in the way) just a suggestion.
-e

eyeris · Post by **eyeris** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 8:04 pm

oops, it appeared twice.

Sparrow · Post by **Sparrow** » Fri Apr 23, 2004 10:53 pm

I don't have friends either,,,lots of people I know that I say 'hi' to and maybe talk with for a few moments,,,but no one I can call when I so desperately need a 'real' friend. I try so hard to be nice to others,,,,I wish I knew what is wrong with me,,,,it is so lonely and depressing living like this.

JadedMortality · Post by **JadedMortality** » Sat Apr 24, 2004 11:50 am

I recently lost my best friend because she betrayed my trust and we no longer talk. All the other friends I have are more acquaintences than anything else. I feel alone alot of the time now. I wish I knew what to say to make this seem easier, but I just wanted to let you know that what you're feeling isn't just affecting you...you aren't alone

~Jade

snowangel_03 · Post by **snowangel_03** » Wed May 26, 2004 12:39 pm

I'm right there aswell....

All my so called friends have left me, and the one person I have left has gotten themselves in a serious relationship, so he'll be spending a lot of time with her, when he's not studying, so there won't be much time for me now

I'm not helping much, am I..

Just letting you know you're not the only one who's on their own..

lost down here · Post by **lost down here** » Wed Jun 02, 2004 11:03 pm

as long as you have bus, you'll have a world of friends

LadyPip · Post by **LadyPip** » Sun Jun 06, 2004 10:13 pm

I have my boyfriend, but no other friends.

It had really started to bother me, so I got a second job. Working 7 days a week helps keep me from feeling so isolated. Heh, I guess I'm a workaholic now. But, I'm not really recommending that people try that (it's exausting): I guess just trying to keep busy, and fill your day with activities is the best thing.

Diamond Dog · Post by **Diamond Dog** » Sun Jun 06, 2004 11:51 pm

I have no friends either.

I got cyberfriends then lost them all.

Once I went over 3 weeks before I realized that nobody had spoken to me.

snowangel_03 · Post by **snowangel_03** » Tue Jun 08, 2004 11:50 am

pinkllama wrote:Honestly, I think if you walked around and just observed, you'd find that a vast number of ppl out there share in this loneliness. Most ppl are looking for love and affection....

I agree, PL.

I'm in the same boat, BlackKat. All I can do, is offer hugs, I'm afraid.. I'm not too good at giving advice Sorry

Listener · Post by **Listener** » Tue Jun 08, 2004 10:58 pm

There's human contact here and people who care. What more could you need?

Chocoboko · Post by **Chocoboko** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 12:40 am

I understand how you feel. I feel a lot of my mood instability is due to that I have a difficult time emotionally connecting to people because of a disorder I have. It's really frustrating. I really long for someone I can emotionally connect to and be open with that I can talk to on a stable basis. Sometimes I wonder if I am borderline because I long for a stable relationship.

Diamond Dog · Post by **Diamond Dog** » Fri Jun 25, 2004 3:01 am

RickTheTwinkie is right you need to fill your life up with other things.

Since losing my cyber friends I've taken up runnng again, I have movie-marathons every weekend and stuff like that. I just try to stay busy so I don't feel so depressed.

limestone · Post by **limestone** » Sat Jul 17, 2004 8:34 am

Listener wrote:There's human contact here and people who care. What more could you need?

^^ someone real for a start! plus, I'm not being rude, but it's difficult to judge how sincere people are on the internet anyway. reading someones face can be a better indicator.

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned how if you need company etc ask if you have one, a brother or sister to go out and see a film. I think we often neglect our family but sometimes they can help you to feel less lonely. Friends are strange things - they don't really stay 'honest' but family sometimes, not always, but at least one person could be more honest than a so called friend might be.

Body language too - on the tv they talked about 'soft skills' why they use that term I've not worked out, but how you appear to others i.e. how approachable you are and how you interact with others can help.
They said to have good eye contact, arms relaxed in front of you not crossed, listen well and nod, smile when you speak, be very interested in knowing about the other person, stand up straight, keep the body distance at 1 arms length and if you look up before you speak it can indicate you haven't a clue what you're speaking about and looking down indicates that you're lying. - online you can't tell!!

How to cope with having no friends?

How to cope with having no friends?

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