last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......

snowangel_03 · Post by **snowangel_03** » Wed May 26, 2004 10:24 am

"last time i wanted to si and didn't..."
it's happening less and less these days

Ieke · Post by **Ieke** » Fri May 28, 2004 1:30 am

I didn't want to have to walk around in long sleeves in the 90 degree summer we're having.

~Georgie~ · Post by **~Georgie~** » Sat May 29, 2004 5:36 pm

Family were around

Zebraseal · Post by **Zebraseal** » Sat May 29, 2004 9:40 pm

I knew I could work it out instead, and went and wrote down all my anger and sadness.

herebedragons · Post by **herebedragons** » Sun May 30, 2004 8:56 pm

I coloured in a colour book. Then later I worked on building a bookcase. Concentrating on something productive helped me feel better.

riley9121 · Post by **riley9121** » Mon May 31, 2004 5:29 am

I sat there on the bathroom floor with my "tools" and said i wudn't cut this time for myself and tried to wait for 15 min....didnt happen...

Searching · Post by **Searching** » Mon May 31, 2004 5:30 am

I went mountain biking to get away from the house and all my triggers and get away from the noise of the city.

snowangel_03 · Post by **snowangel_03** » Tue Jun 01, 2004 3:14 pm

last time i felt like it.. i didn't.. was feeling too emotionally and mentally tired to

pretty · Post by **pretty** » Tue Jun 01, 2004 3:40 pm

I made a list of reasons not to in my place thread.

I don't want to lose my days.

I don't want to let certain people down. I know they'll understand if I slip, but they'll be proud if I hold on.

I don't want more scars.

I don't want to take that step backwards.

To which Twinky added:

You're stronger than that

You deserve more that that

You deserve happiness and not this

Twitter Mouse · Post by **Twitter Mouse** » Tue Jun 01, 2004 8:35 pm

I didn't want to have to explain it to anyone, and I didn't want to lose how long I have gone without SI.

kazeldya · Post by **kazeldya** » Thu Jun 03, 2004 12:07 pm

I'd told my friends I wouldn't unless I talked to them first. And I felt they were at fault, but not consciously or on purpose, so I couldn't. So I wrote them a really long letter that I may or may not send. Even though they were really only maybe 20 feet away from me in anither room.

snowangel_03 · Post by **snowangel_03** » Thu Jun 03, 2004 4:48 pm

snowangel_03 wrote:last time i felt like it.. i didn't.. was feeling too emotionally and mentally tired to

and still.. wanting to badly but not even having the energy to pick up my tool

***
i've told 2 of my friends that if i feel the need to, then i have to write to them or call them, but don't even have the energy for that either

babyelephant · Post by **babyelephant** » Fri Jun 04, 2004 9:32 am

Because I didn't want to lose my days, I'm on day 76, on day 100 it's the start of a new life for me.

pretty · Post by **pretty** » Fri Jun 04, 2004 4:42 pm

I somehow managed to force myself to get up and get some lunch, and I ended up tidying the kitchen to distract myself.

CONCRETE_BUTTERFLY · Post by **CONCRETE_BUTTERFLY** » Fri Jun 04, 2004 10:13 pm

say wrote:I remembered how I always feel later: guilty, relieved, guilty for feeling relieved, embarrassed...

I can totally relate, this too is my reason not too or being able to hold back, but sadly the last time was not distracted from but this is the reason for not in the past.

tenar · Post by **tenar** » Wed Jun 09, 2004 12:27 pm

i didn't si because my friend whos younger than me but much more mature texted me and said 'i'll never ask u not to cut, but please remember how many people will be hurt'.

i couldn't hurt him, cos he's wonderful and doesn't ask me not to cut, which is so refreshing. i couldn't hurt my boyfriend. i couldn't hurt my best girl friend.

i also didn't want to be si'ing in the middle of alevels, cos that would add even more stress and i hate having to type (i type in exams) with braclets on, and its too hot for bandages etc

so i curled up in bed and clutched my duvet like a person and listened to pulp and couldnt sleep. so i went and got hot milk and then i could sleep.

amyfairy · Post by **amyfairy** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 11:19 am

Because it wasn't working. I gave up. Got furstrated with myself so went and wrote stuff down on paper.

~*Star*~ · Post by **~*Star*~** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 12:48 pm

I shut myself in the shower for over an hour and cried. I didnt let myself out again until I knew I was gona be ok and it had passed.

Dolly's Nightmare · Post by **Dolly's Nightmare** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 10:00 pm

i went to look at the pictures section on [another site - Ime] and was horrified.... i became scared i might end up gashing myself like that.

Scarlett · Post by **Scarlett** » Fri Jun 11, 2004 8:19 am

My friend called

bus

last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......

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