*cries* yesterday was bad *SI*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Solemn Rurouni
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*cries* yesterday was bad *SI*

Post by Solemn Rurouni » Fri May 21, 2004 6:52 am

i'd like lots of pms and hugs and tea and cookies and other good stuff...
...
....
.....
yesterday was not good. as you may know, I'm homeschooled...well, several months ago I cheated on a math test and somehow my mother foudn out (rotten, snitchy sisters...) and I had completely forgotten about it and hadn't cheated since as I was trying to be good so I could get some bunnies come summer...
...
well, then after hearign about what a stupid, idotic, girl I am, I heard how they had found a bunny for me, but obviously, now I'm not getting it. I had saved up $200 to go to a week-long camp this summer just so I could get away from my family, adn now I'm not going, even worse? they took away the money I spent YEARS saving up!
...
there was a lot more yelling...
...
and i went upstairs and locked myself in my room adn opened all the widnows and took off the screens (it was raining and lightening) and sat in the middle of my room (sobbing, of course) with the light off...
...
and I swear the scissors on my desk and the razor on the floor and the nail on my nightstand were all staring at me. it may have been the fact i hadn't slept for three days straight, but *heard* them talking to me...i think...
...
and i picked them up
...
put two and two together.
...
...
....
it's the most i've cut in one time and my right leg looks terrible.
and so does my left arm, ironically.
.....
right now my leg really hurts. so do my arms. they're all scratched up and red. i'm mad at myself and sad and just...scared, really scared. am i seriously hearing a pair of scissors talk to me!?!? they say theya re my friends. they say they like blood.
i'm scared.
really scared.
```I have more pain than you'll ever know```
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click
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Post by click » Fri May 21, 2004 9:30 am

hey, hope you don't mind me posting on here. hugs to ya hunney :1hug: it seems like you said that the 3 straight days of not sleeping is cathing up with you and playing games on you. i hope you have the strength inside of you to control yourself :(
PM me netime you wanna chat
...All alone...
Just Me N My Concrete Heart
<a href=http://busmail.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=56740>My Place</a>
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Solemn Rurouni
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Post by Solemn Rurouni » Sat May 22, 2004 9:22 am

I want pms and hugs! *cries* someone reply!
BTw, thanks click. :blush:
Rach
```I have more pain than you'll ever know```
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Laura
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Post by Laura » Sat May 22, 2004 3:18 pm

:1hug:
:java:
I can't pm right now, but please know that you are not alone or ignored.
If you need a reply quickly, it's often best to post on Main board rather than Coping, cos more people see it.

Take care
Love Laura :1soothe:
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~invisible_me~
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Post by ~invisible_me~ » Sat May 22, 2004 4:42 pm

:1hug: :1hug3: :1hug:

I pmed u as well but thought that i would send u some more on ur thread as well if that is ok.

Hope ur ok today.

Love

~invisible~
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Seeshellz
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Needs Hugs!

Post by Seeshellz » Sat May 22, 2004 6:10 pm

Hi! I'm sorry it's so hard for you right now.

I wish I could be there in person to give you these hugs!!

HUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUG
HUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUG
HUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUG
HUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUG!!!!!!

Love, Shelley
"If you learn from your suffering,

and really come to understand the lesson you were taught,

you might be able to help someone else who's now

in the phase you may have just completed.

Maybe that's what it's all about after all..."

Anonymous
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nirvana
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Post by nirvana » Sat May 22, 2004 6:56 pm

(((((HUGS)))))

hope you feel better soon.

love, tara.
i thought i was a fool for no one, but baby i'm a fool for you.

[safe since february 2005.]
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stripin_hate
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Post by stripin_hate » Sat May 22, 2004 8:02 pm

you need big hugs

:1hug3: :1hug3: :1hug3:
and with love added in :heart:
:1hug: :1hug:
I sent you a pm
much love
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bexy
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Post by bexy » Sat May 22, 2004 9:20 pm

I'll send you a pm but first:
:1hug3:
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Solemn Rurouni
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Post by Solemn Rurouni » Sun May 23, 2004 8:05 am

actually, I meant to post it on the main board, but I had two windows of BUS opne, on ei coping theother i nmain board...accidently closed the wrong one an dposted in the wrong place
erm, some of the pms aren't there
I should check again
but thanks guys
Rach :blush:
```I have more pain than you'll ever know```
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Orange Crush
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Post by Orange Crush » Sun May 23, 2004 9:41 am

tea and cookies and have a cow!

:moo:

and lots of hugs :1hug: :1hug: :1hug: :1hug: :1hug: :1hug: :1hug: :1hug: :1hug: :1hug: :1hug: :1hug:
~xMichellex~
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I :heart: :1hug:
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Solemn Rurouni
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Post by Solemn Rurouni » Thu May 27, 2004 6:57 am

thanks guys, you really helped
:D
```I have more pain than you'll ever know```
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