last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......

swanfaerie · Post by **swanfaerie** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 6:38 am

my tools were hidden and i couldn't find them. so i cried instead (i hate crying)

tenar · Post by **tenar** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 3:49 pm

i wrote my boyfriend's name on the place i wanted to si in feltip pen - whenever i looked there to si, i saw the name and knew i couldn't si over it.

i didn't want to si because i have said i would stop and i want to keep my word. i don't want to see my boyfriend hurt by my behaviour again, he doesn't deserve that pain.

xx

Tamrick · Post by **Tamrick** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 7:00 pm

I didn't SI because I didn't want to and I could talk about how I was feeling instead - didn't do a great job, but at least I tried.

Oizys · Post by **Oizys** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 8:49 pm

Because I really want to wear short sleeves and not be ashamed of myself.

laura_kate · Post by **laura_kate** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 9:49 pm

I screamed really loudly and cried, its all that i need to do....xxxxx

Polalis · Post by **Polalis** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 8:06 am

I kept making myself get distracted and kept putting it off.

reallycreamed · Post by **reallycreamed** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 4:04 pm

i didn't si because i didn't want my sister to see it.

come undone · Post by **come undone** » Thu Apr 15, 2004 6:09 am

i put my tools in a lil box, printed pictures of renee, my mom, my sister and my dad, and my gramma and put them on it...then i taped it up with clear tape, so that any time i have an urge, and i grab for the box, i see them, and id have to go through all of them to cut if i wanted to...and that would be enough guilt to finish me...so yeah...this is why i havent cut the last time i wanted to. because if i cut, then ill have to go through the people i love most...and i dont want to hurt them anymore.

so you all can see that my life is contained outside of that box, not inside it.

it may be little...but its wrath can take a life. i dont want that life to be mine

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xxpaigexx · Post by **xxpaigexx** » Fri Apr 16, 2004 10:14 am

last time I wanted to SI... I was at home so people were in my house so I went out and hung out with them so I wasn't ALONE !!!!

crimson_tears_17 · Post by **crimson_tears_17** » Fri Apr 16, 2004 12:46 pm

truthfully...i couldn't find my knife, if i'd had it then i would've cut.

Luv amy xXx

silverfox848 · Post by **silverfox848** » Sun Apr 18, 2004 5:29 am

Because my boyfriend was comeing down to CA from Orogon and I didn't want him to see cuts. I love him to much to hurt him like that.

becs · Post by **becs** » Sun Apr 18, 2004 3:47 pm

Because I'm 6 months SI free tomorrow, and I know I'll feel terrible if I let myself down..it's not worth the guilt.

babyelephant · Post by **babyelephant** » Sun Apr 18, 2004 4:01 pm

because I have my collage interview 2moro and I dont need to add to my already scarres arms.

amyfairy · Post by **amyfairy** » Sun Apr 18, 2004 4:29 pm

They took my tool away

swanfaerie · Post by **swanfaerie** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 7:58 am

i spent the evening with my fritzi and loved on him.

lost_little_girl · Post by **lost_little_girl** » Fri Apr 23, 2004 9:20 am

Thought about doing it today, came very close... My release? Fear, fear of being admitted against my will, and I know my boyfriend is ashamed of my scars, it's obvious. He wants me to have surgery to have them removed already... I also read the opening poem from that Iyanla Vanzant(sp) book 'One day my soul just opened up.' I wanted to be happy, I'm sick of the inconsiderate people in my everyday surroundings bring me downw. I just couldn't let that happen.

pretty · Post by **pretty** » Sat Apr 24, 2004 3:18 pm

Because I don't deserve more pain.

It would be a step backwards.

I ate something and cuddled my bear and felt much better.

GooGooPanda · Post by **GooGooPanda** » Sun Apr 25, 2004 5:58 pm

Right before I slipped into the bathroom I got a phonecall saying I got into the play I auditioned for

missie · Post by **missie** » Sun Apr 25, 2004 8:52 pm

i remeberd i had pics for my dance show coming up and i didnt want ppl to see what i had done so i ran to stop thinking of what was bothering me then i talked to my cousin about what was bothering me. i havent cut myself for 2 months and its been realy hard. im doing it so i wont have to look at the scars evry day.
missie

limestone · Post by **limestone** » Sun Apr 25, 2004 9:37 pm

I wrote in my journal what is wrong as x didn't understand when I tried to explain. Urge has gone now. Feelings that started before it haven't though.

bus

last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......

The reason...and not that hoobastank song :P

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