identifying how you feel

[angelic212]

Feelings: Identifying How You Feel


by Kali Munro, M.Ed., Psychotherapist, 2002



Identifying how you feel can sometimes be confusing. You know that you're feeling something, but may not know exactly what.

To start, it can be useful to distinguish between primary and secondary emotions. According to Hendricks and Hendricks (1993), primary emotions are sadness, anger, fear, sexual feelings, and joy. Other emotions and experiences are combinations of these primary emotions. For example, guilt is a combination of fear and anger in different proportions - you may feel primarily scared and a little angry, or primarily angry and a little scared. Shame is a combination of sadness and fear. And, jealousy is a combination of sadness and anger.

Some people think anger is a secondary emotion; a combination of fear and sadness. I think anger can be a primary or a secondary emotion. When anger becomes routine, or the one emotion that someone feels comfortable expressing, it is a secondary emotion. When anger is a secondary emotion, it helps to go deeper and become aware of other feelings that are present.

Next, is the connection between our emotions and our body. Each primary emotion creates body sensations - we feel our feelings in our bodies. Tuning into your body sensations can help you to identify how you're feeling on a deeper level, and to stay with your feelings.

People ask what they should do with their emotions. The best thing you can do with your feelings is to identify the primary emotions and to feel them. Staying aware of your body sensations helps you to do that and to remain grounded.

To identify your primary emotions, notice what you're feeling in your body. Then, look at the following chart (Hendricks & Hendricks,1993) to help clarify how you are feeling.



Emotion Body Location Possible Sensations


Sadness

throat

lump, narrowing

chest
pressure, aching


belly
empty


Anger

back of neck

ropes of tension, lumps


head
throbbing temples, clenched jaw


shoulders
drawn in tight, blocky


arms and hands
held back, curled


Fear

belly area

butterflies, fluttering, clutching, heavy ball


head and face
dizziness


chest, throat
shortness of breath


face
tension around eyes, mouth; mouth dry


Sexual feelings

genitals

streaming, fullness


lower belly
good achy


front of body
warmth


Joy

chest area

spacious, expansive


eyes
glowing, clarity


front of body
bubbling, giggly inside





There may be other feelings you experience which aren't listed above. When you're feeling an emotion that's not listed, take a moment to tune into yourself, and spend time considering each primary emotion and whether or not you are feeling any of them. We often feel more than one feeling at a time and it can get quite complicated trying to sort it all out. Focusing on the primary emotions helps to simplify the process, and to go deeper.



References:

G. Hendricks, Ph.D. & K. Hendricks Ph.D., Centering And The Art Of Intimacy Handbook, Fireside, NY, 1993.

For more help dealing with your emotions see my article, What To Do With Your Feelings.

[FaeFollower]

Hm...Interesting, thanks for sharing. I was kind of surprised when I read that about primary and secondary emotions because I had written something expressing basically the same idea in my journal not too long ago, only in different terms. Very interesting.

[roseblum15]

Interesting article... I cannot identify my feelings, its like a block in me or something. I found the secondary emotions interesting cause thats how I feel all the time, that my emotions are just all combined into one clump.