Things Left Unsaid *LA*

serenity · Post by **serenity** » Tue Feb 17, 2004 8:35 am

false hope. you led me on and crushed me under your foot. I want to cut tonight, where are you? Take me in your arms i need to hear you say that you'll always be there. No matter what i do. Look at me! Cant you freaking see the hurt in my eyes. Dont turn me away again. I wish you'd stop shutting me out. Nothing hurts worse.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Feb 20, 2004 11:58 am

I can't believe how muchI love you and how much I trust you already... Yes, yes, yes I will live with you, nothing could make me happier!!

sassy koala · Post by **sassy koala** » Fri Feb 20, 2004 7:22 pm

PISS OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

indiegirl · Post by **indiegirl** » Sun Feb 22, 2004 3:39 pm

i need to be alone today, leave me be.

Twitter Mouse · Post by **Twitter Mouse** » Sun Feb 22, 2004 6:53 pm

Jamie- Thanks for the help last night. I'm stil struggling, but you got me through last night
Kevin- Thank you for talking to me and being so understanding
Mike- You are making Jenn so happy. Thanks.
Mom- I'm sorry

talliah · Post by **talliah** » Sun Feb 22, 2004 7:27 pm

i did send that message.
you're not my tourniquet. you're quite the opposite.
i wish you were though, i really do.
oh and your eyes are beautiful.

WickedWitchElphie · Post by **WickedWitchElphie** » Sun Feb 22, 2004 9:49 pm

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NO IRL (please guys)
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This entire situation is getting really bad really fast. I love you SO MUCH, you know that, I know that, practically the entire world knows just how much I love you. And I want to do more than "consider it". I just want to make sure that nothing bad could come of it. What J told me was right. I'd be really posessive after. And I want to make sure that you know that, because you know how I feel about the whole situation anyway. I told you in December. I remember telling you. And I know I promised, but ever since I did, I've been thinking about it. I have a feeling we'll be together for a long time, but I'm so unsure about what we should do. I want to baby, I really do, more than ANYTHING, but when? Where? What about...you know, that? I want all the details worked out beforehand, and I don't want it to be a spur of the moment kinda thing. That's not how it's going to be for us. If. Because if it is, I won't go through with it.

You know I regret a lot. I don't want to regret this. I want this to be the best experience of my life so far (not that I should get my hopes up, but I want it to be positive, you know what I mean?). I was just reading a post here that made me wonder about us. Things like that make me think more about it. I need to talk to someone about it. Someone who can support the choice we make, but someone who will also give valuable advice. We need to talk about this more. If we're not comfortable talking about it, then we shouldn't even do it anyway. I just...I know you want it. I know you're trying so hard not to pressure me or hurt me or anything. And you're not. I'm almost pressuring myself to have an answer for all of it, and for once, I don't. You don't. I'm desperate for everything to be easy, black and white again. But now we're at that age where all decisions are hard and everything's grey and everything has an effect on what the rest of our lives are like.

So it's not that I don't want to or I don't love you. It's that I'm questioning myself and both of our safety.

I NEED to somehow say all this to the person who needs to hear it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 12:11 pm

Arrrrrrrrggghhhhhhhhh I wish I could smack that stupid face of yours! You stupid stupid insular self fucking obsessed up your own arse little bitch. You wouldn't know how to be a real grown up person if you tried. You are not important, get over yourself. You are not entitled to worship from everyone, get your fucked up gaze off your navel. You are driving me fucking insane and I wish I could watch you scream.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 12:18 pm

Oh and I forgot... No one's buying into your perception of yourself and how fucking cool you are. Wow look at miss controversial 2004. See, you're a real rebel. So anti establishment. So underground. My god, maybe you're just like the idols you worship! Maybe your life really is their songs! I wish I could be as cool as you.... You're just so pissing wonderful aren't you? Such a perfect little alternative. If you ever take your head out of your arse and see the real world, if you ever have to look at anything more than the crap that you care about right now, I think the shock will kill you. You fucking pathetic waste of space.

enna · Post by **enna** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 4:59 pm

Lecturer: Yes, I wasn't there that day. I informed you the week beforehand and asked for you to keep a handout aside for me. I've asked you almost every time I've been here since and you still haven't! You keep giving me the wrong one every single time. How am I supposed to do this investigation if I don't know how to collate the data?!

Mum: Please stop saying that I'm pretty, have a good figure, etc. I don't agree, and it sounds as if you're trying to convince yourself as well as me. I hate it. You seem to think that I have a huge problem with my self-image - which is true, yes, but I can deal with it by ignoring the bad thoughts and just trying to be healthy. The way you go on just brings my faults to the front of my mind. Please stop it.

talliah · Post by **talliah** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 12:07 am

*SI*

in response to this conversation amongst numerous others:
"what did you do, go up to him and say "do you remember me""?
"no, actually he came up to me"
"oh, he came up to you!"

YOU are an emotional fuckwit.
not me.
you.
arghhhhhhh. blabbing on about how you're a "healer", you're totally insensitive. you can't understand why people don't feel and think the way you do. and you say things that hurt and you don't even realise. and you never know the right thing to say. i have friends who always know the right thing to say, so why is it i have to come to an emotional fuckwit like you for SI related issues?!

i know you think i'm fat and ugly and not in any way attractive. but you're my friend, and whilst i agree with it, i'm having trouble dealing with these ideas. well no trouble. i'm dealing with them.
BY CUTTING UP MY ARM.
so why do you say things that contribute to that?!

and you are so arrogant. but you are also wrong about yourself. and i know this is going to sound arrogant, but hey, i'm going to cut myself some slack, instead of insulting myself and punishing my body, i'll be arrogant like you for a change:
you're not smart. or intelligent. at the best you are a wannabe intellectual.
I am smart and intelligent and intellectual.
you are not a caring person. you are selfish.
i care about issues. i care about my friends.
you can't sing.
neither can i, but at least i know it.

why do you make me feel like shit?! i know i'm not way attractive or anything, but the little things you say (and you don't even know it) just scream "yeah, why the fuck would he like you?!".

so more people like you. well get this. people who like me, do so for a reason cos the only people i care about liking me are people i like and respect and admire wheras you just want to be liked by everyone. that is pathetic.

and you only went out with him for shallow reasons. and you're stupid for thinking he liked you. he was using you for sex. get overyourself. you're nothing special.

Russianpoetess · Post by **Russianpoetess** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 1:08 am

myself: your stupid selfish bitch. get these stupid fucking suicide thoughts out of your head. your fine and everything will be ok.

school: fucking sick of you. I have more important things than worrying about a fucking physics test...... fuck off

Dennis: I need you to hold me and tell me everything is alright. and don't fucking scare me again because I love you.

Kate: your my best and I love you. There is so much I want to talk about but i don't want to burden you with my shit. i know you have enough to deal with right now.

Gabe: you are so amazing. why can't you see that??? your like a lil' brother have faith in yourself.

mom and dad: you guys don't understand anything right now. I know you think you do, but you have no clue. just fuck off right now. i have enough to worry about. just fuck off i don't need you to add to that.

Jeremy: fuck off you stupid fucking bastard. get a life and leave me alone

everyone: things are shit for me. can't u see that????? just give me a fucking hug and stop asking me whats wrong. and instead just givem e a hug and be there for me.

Laura · Post by **Laura** » Wed Feb 25, 2004 4:08 pm

W: You are doing more harm than good with this. You are so full of yourself that you refuse to listen to constructive advice. I offered my help months ago, I outlined my views ages ago, but you refused to take any notice until when it suited you. And now the result is that your work is really not up to scratch, there are lots of things wrong with it, from the details to the very structure. I warned you back then, and I am warning you again, but you don't listen. Many people I know, who have far more experience than you or I, agree with my opinions, but given your attitude few are willing to voice their criticism openly, especially as it is clear that you intend to listen to no one. I want to divorce myself from this whole mess, since it has turned out horribly wrong and dangerous, and it is all because of you and your big ego.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 25, 2004 5:45 pm

You stupid fucking bitch I will be amazed if I don't kill you this week!!!!

talliah · Post by **talliah** » Wed Feb 25, 2004 5:47 pm

well that was selfish of you wasn't it.
i wouldn't mind so much, but you think you're such a giving, caring person. i spend half my time shouting myself down for being selfish. why should i have to do that, when it's you, you you?!
i care about people, no matter what. whereas you don't care about racism because you're not black, or homophobia because you're not gay. that is so immature and pathetic and just down right selfish.
you think not thinking is easy. well the only reason you don't think, is because you have no mind.
i'm a good friend. i don't treat my friends the way you do. don't you stop to think, how things you say and do might make me feel?! i don't believe you are my best friend here. i mean i am properly discerning when it comes to friends. my friends are all my friends for a reason: they are good kind people who are there for me, they are thinkers, they are intersting, they are witty etc etc you are none of that. why do i even bother with you?! why does anyone?! they have no idea.

skittles33 · Post by **skittles33** » Fri Feb 27, 2004 5:59 am

ed su

stop denying there is a problem!!! i'm NOT ok. just because you found out i throw up at dinner ( although i said it's only been 6 months and i still eat b. and l.) does not mean i've stopped. you may not see me go to the bathroom...but i go to my room. i've kept one meal down since you found out. i told the dr. she said I NEEDED counselling if i want to get better. she gave you a freaking list, why can't you call. stop pretending i'm ok. i'm not ok. and you yelling at me and lecturing doesn't help. i don't need that from you. i told you i hated myself...can't you see i'm hurting?! i told you i think about death all the time..how does that equate to happiness?! i told you my grades, how do you think that equals no problem? how can you not see the pain? don't you look? don't you care about anyone besides yourself?

you can't keep me at home next year. i'm leaving...it's not your decision.

i hate you.

C_Tyrdrop · Post by **C_Tyrdrop** » Sat Feb 28, 2004 11:19 am

<-- ::not a mind reader::

nirvana · Post by **nirvana** » Sat Feb 28, 2004 10:38 pm

d - after the oc incedent, you said "oh god did that upset you? go watch happy days or something." in response, i would love to tell you to go fuck yourself. i know you're one of my best friends. but i hate myself and you don't realize that everything affects me a little differently. i wish it didn't. and i wish i was normal and that you could trust me. but i'm trying to change.

l - i don't know what to say. i hope your uncle is okay.

d & l - thanks for remembering TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY. and thanks for not being here and for not realizing that i have been out of the fucking country for two weeks. and i got home today. and all i want is for my two best friends in the world to wish me happy birthday.

me - happy sweet sixteen. try and fake happy for them.

anyone who cares - seventeen days without cutting. it's a bitch to have to cut to be happy on your birthday. but i'm breaking my streak today.

b - i hate you more than i've ever hated anyone in my life. and i miss you. and i hate myself for missing you. i shouldn't need you and i know that every fucking time i try and talk to you i mess things up and i know i'm an idiot and i never fucking understand anything. and i'm sorry i really am.

b - yeah i like you. and i hate the fact that there's this completely other side of you that i don't know about. like how you got caught drinking and still went out. and i hate the parties you go to. and the people you know. and i hate the lines you use on me. because i know you've used them on dozens of girls before me. and i know that if you don't get me, you'll just find someone else. i hate needing you here.

i want to cry.

indiegirl · Post by **indiegirl** » Mon Mar 01, 2004 7:46 pm

S - Don't assume that i'm fucking drunk, and don't take that tone of voice with me, you call me at inopportune times, I need you right now and you are ignoring it cos of her.

indiegirl · Post by **indiegirl** » Mon Mar 01, 2004 7:48 pm

A - I'm yours, always.

bus

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