Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Andromeda · Post by **Andromeda** » Mon Sep 01, 2003 9:51 pm

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.......................begin rant................
Dad:Notice meeeeeeeeeee! Stop burying your head in the sand and pretending this isn't happening, its not your fault, it doesn't make you a bad father because I do this, it really has very little to do with you. Could you just act like you actually give a fuck for a change?

Mum:I hate you for what you have done to me! You knew what was going on when I was a kid, you knew what that baastard was doing to me, and yet you did NOTHING to stop him. And when I told you, you fucking ignored me! Why do you want to hurt me so much? what did I ever do to you? Why do you use everything I do against me? Why don't you love me?

Mark: I'm sorry for hurting you all those times, I never stopped loving you and I'm sorry for all the things I did that made you leave. You still mean the world to me.

John: Stop fucking with my head you shit. Don't you know what you're doing to me? How the fuck would you feel if you were feeling suicidal and I told you "oh kill yourself then, you'll be doing the world a favour"? What gives you the right to judge me? Who made you God? Stop being nasty to me you pig, because I've got enough to deal with right now without you acting like a complerte jerk. And another thing, stop telling your family that I hit you and tell them WHY i hit you!

D: After all these years I still can't bring myself to say your name. I hate you for what you did to me. I hate you for taking my childhood away from me, and after all this time i still only want to know one thing from you. Why the fuck aren't you dead yet?

E & L: I love you both, you keep me alive.

K: Stop telling me not to cut, don't you see that I do this to keep going, don't you understand that I don't know a better way to cope with wehat I'm going through.

People: I know I cut, I know its not good, I know that you don't like it, but I'm trying really hard to be better and I really need support rather than criticism right now, or things will only get worse.
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.......................end rant................

TheRestIsSilence · Post by **TheRestIsSilence** » Thu Sep 04, 2003 1:47 am

JK-

i was pissed because every1 knew that i WASN'T the bad guy and you were being bitter and jealous. i think i deserve not to be mentioned if i dont want to.

enna · Post by **enna** » Fri Sep 05, 2003 4:19 pm

R - I want to ask you a few things. Why did you tell B? No, in fact, scrap that. I said you could if you wanted to. Why did you tell me you wouldn't tell B? What else did you tell, and who? You told me things and I promised not to tell anyone, and I still wouldn't, despite everything that happened. Does the whole school know by now? Do they all think I'm an idiot, an attention-seeking bitch?

M - I still do it. I don't know if I'm fine, but the reason I'm not telling you - or anyone - is because I don't want anyone to know. I don't want to upset people, I don't want people walking on eggshells around me. I don't want people to comfort me, or to try to understand, because there's nothing to understand.

F - I'm sorry. I'm just sorry sorry sorry sorry... and yes, I realise I'm doing what I always tell you off for doing, but this is different. I must make you feel like crap. I just... I'm not dealing with people very well at the moment. I do like you. But I'm better off by myself right now. Maybe it'll be better now, with you at college - I know this will sound horrible - because we won't see each other as much.

I'm sorry.

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[SI, SU, Heavy Sarcasm]
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L, J, H and a few others - Yeah, man, how fucking cool is that. Self-harm and suicide, rock on! I mean, how cool is it when your mum sees your arms for the first time in years and the first thing she does is burst into tears and start talking about plastic surgery. And, hey, did you know that my mum's tried to kill herself before? It was great! We had to stop her from swallowing a whole bunch of pills, and then she tried to set the house on fire so that we'd all go to heaven together! But even better, earlier on that night she implied that it was all my fault! I must be so fucking XhardcoreX, man! To bad that all the other times it's happened it's always involved pills; I mean, if she'd only tried to slit her wrists then she'd have some pretty cool scars to show off, wouldn't she?

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Thanks.

Enna

WickedWitchElphie · Post by **WickedWitchElphie** » Sat Sep 06, 2003 1:30 am

H: I love you to death and I just wanna make up, you are seriously one of my closet friends and you mean so much to me, I just want you to be okay. You are so awesome, funny, and talented and I am blessed with you as my friend. Please don't leave me here without you, you are just great, and I need you, because you give me incomprehensible strength. You help me keep myself in check, and realize that I shouldn't let little things get to me, because other people have bigger problems. If you wanna talk to me, I'm here, I love you and so do lots of other people.

K: I love you. I don't know if you're just playing with me or unintentionally doing it but I love you and you know it. Tell me what's up, if you're feeling something (which I seriously doubt but oh well), or if you're not. Just be straight with me, don't play with me, I'll give you time but I'm not gonna sit around here and wonder.

Post more later, my little bro is bitching 'cause he needs the comp.

enna · Post by **enna** » Sat Sep 06, 2003 5:23 pm

Mum - You know what, yes, I do mind. I don't like you drinking. I don't like you drunk. I don't like you screaming or crying or any of that other stuff. I hate it. If you want to drink, then get the fuck out of the house and stay somewhere else for the night.

theatregeek · Post by **theatregeek** » Sat Sep 06, 2003 5:53 pm

J-Dont tell my mom, please dont, so what im not eating much at lunch, u cant stop me, u owuldnt let me stop u, so im not gonna let u stop me! I love you and i wish we were in a class together~

A-Thanks for talking! Your so great!

A-Hahaha i cant believe u think they r hott, wel they said ur hott and want u to come back! :-p

B-Yes that "Dont talk to me" was directed twords u! i hate u! u were the one who got me thrown in IP. u suck!

J-Im still mad. If thatz what u were wondering.

Z-well.....oh nm

KaP-Yay! we have spanish together!

*HIM*-WHERE THE FUCK DO U GET OFF BUMPING INTO ME ON PURPOSE,. U HAVE NO RIGHT TO HAVE ANY CONTACT WITH ME AFTER WHAT U DID! U FUCKING SUCK.

WickedWitchElphie · Post by **WickedWitchElphie** » Sat Sep 06, 2003 6:33 pm

H: I'm not getting it. Where do you get off being mad at me because I made a few stratches on my arm? If anything I should be mad at you, but I'm not. We all have our problems, and though other people's might seem small compared to your own, it's still a problem to them. You're gonna have to get over the fact that I broke and have been okay for...6 days now. 6 days is pretty damn good if you ask me. Decide what you're gonna do here. Are you gonna put my mistake aside and be my friend, or let one little thing that I did ruin a 5 year friendship? I don't want it to be over, we still have high school to get through, we still have freshman year to get through. We need to be allies in the war against Becca, who is tormenting all of us. I miss you and you're just so incredible, what would I do without you? And it's really hard that we're friends with the same people and fighting. I don't want anyone to feel like they have to side. I want to make it all okay for our sakes and everyone elses'. Please, accept my apology, accept me trying to get better, accept that I made a mistake. I've learned from it and it's made me stronger, so please, just put it behind you, and let's start over. I wanna help you so much, I don't want you to end up back in the hospital. Please be okay, please be my friend. The thing that keeps me going is my friends, please just say you wanna stay friends. It will keep me strong to know I have so much support.

L: I miss you!!! I need your guidance now more than ever.

Ka: Thanks so much for helping me through this situation. I'm trying so hard to be friends with her, I love her to death and you know it, and she is so adamant in her decision. It's hard to be friends with the same group of people, and it's hard to tell how she feels about me at school and stuff, and then I come home and she's like, "I'm still mad". I wish she could see I'm trying so hard basically for just her now.

K: Bloody hell, what is going on? I'm starting to think that we're too complex emotionally for each other. But I still love you, and I can't change that, so obviously something is still holding us together under the surface. Maybe C and T are right, I want to believe them, but it's hard to sometimes, especially when I'm with you all day now, it's a big change from the summer. We'll see what happens, but whatever comes next, I want us to stay friends above all.

A: I was being bitter. I know. But that stuff is from nights that I would stay up and think, "Why does my life suck so bad? Why?" So no shit it's bitter. I don't have to like you in my writing, that's why it's mine. Yeah I do make you sound like the bad guy, but oh well, because everyone, including me, knows you're not. And even K understood that I was just expressing all of my anger in everything into that relationship so it made you sound bad. It's not like I could've ever changed anyone's opinion on you.

C: When are you gonna put in a good word for me, when are you gonna help me out? You KNOW what's going on here, you KNOW both sides of the story, so just gimme a hand, and tell me something I don't know.

B: I hate you. You have made me feel so fucking inferior it's not even funny. You have just torn me down and slandered my name to make me sound so horrible it's not even funny. Besides, no one ever believed you except me. The person who you wanted to believe it has never believed a word of bullshit out of your mouth.So just fuck off, leave me and my friends alone, and don't be such a moron. SHE DOESN'T WANNA BE YOUR FRIEND. Get it?

J: Lay off H. Don't you think she has a hard enough time? I think we should work on making her life easier, because she's an awesome friend to both of us and we both really stress her out. I don't wanna back out of being her friend but I want her to stay safe, and apparently, we're both triggers. I'm doing okay, but you're not, and we all know it. Stop lying, admit you have a problem, and let us help you.

Z: I think we're kinda rebuilding our friendship after the wreckage of last year. It's good, ya know? You're really understanding to what's going on right now, but I think your ideas on how to fix it would only work if you were me. She won't forgive me. I've tried so hard, I really have, but it's just not good enough. I'm gonna keep trying, though. I can't just give up on her.

S: Can you stop pretending you know what's going on in my life? You have no idea!!! You think all my friends are messed up because you barely know any of them, and then you say you want them to be your friends. Well tough luck, because they would never be friends with you. You treat me like shit and we could be such great friends, but no, so just screw it. Leave me alone, don't ever touch me again, and leave my friends alone.

Me: You're a fuck to think you'll ever be friends with her again. You don't even deserve the friends you have, and as usual, you fucked up another friendship, and now she doesn't wanna stay friends, so it's finally a reality slap for ya. You'll never be with him either, just ignore what everyone else says, because you won't EVER be together.

theatregeek · Post by **theatregeek** » Sun Sep 07, 2003 1:58 am

Someone: Please just stop! i know i do the same, but omg it hurts to hear it. I will stop saying shit if u do. I mean u know i love u, but if i say shit u get mad, and so why cant i get mad?!?!?! uggg i dont get it,

WickedWitchElphie · Post by **WickedWitchElphie** » Sun Sep 07, 2003 2:19 am

K: I missed you today

H: I love you, can we be friends?

C: Are we growing apart?

B: Can you leave me the fuck alone?

Z: You're so fun, everyone should have a bi friend!

L: I miss you

Ka: I miss you too

Myself: You suck. Leave everyone alone.

racewithdeath · Post by **racewithdeath** » Sun Sep 07, 2003 5:19 am

H- your the reason i can get up everyday. i love you.

M- hummm...

K- fuck i dunno!

S- die.

G- go the fuck away.

B- stop calling me! i dont care! go back to your high wanna-be-punk life and dont come back.

S- will you just accept the fact that your just like all the rich little marin kids?

SELF- grow up. get over yourself. I HATE YOU! ahhh i cant stand you. do something right for once!

Alias Grace · Post by **Alias Grace** » Mon Sep 08, 2003 11:26 pm

S --

You absolutely, without fail, confound me every time.

No, I really don't want to see you, ever again. You're fairly harmless in general, but you send me over the edge just by entering my presence, and that's not something I can really handle at this point in time. Or perhaps ever.

I was wildly angry with you for a long while, but now I'm ready and willing to move on. And every letter, every message, every little contact you make sends me spiralling backward again.

And I recognize that it's not entirely your fault, but make good on your word and stay away.

I would actually like my book back, yes, but knowing that it spent a goodly amount of time in your hands makes me squeamish about touching it again myself.

You're a nice person. I'm a nice person.

It's nicer when we're apart.

Grace

vollenda · Post by **vollenda** » Tue Sep 09, 2003 5:53 pm

B - Why am I not good enough for you. Why are you always drawn to women who could care less about you or hurt you. Why do you always have to go for the prize. Why can't you wake up and realize that you have someone who loves you and cares about you standing right in front of you. I don't want to hear about the other women. It's eating me up inside. It makes me feel like I am not good enough. Not lovable enough. Not beautiful enough. I don't know how you can make me feel so loved and rejected at the same time. WAKE UP!

M- Why do I always have to call. Why do I always have to make the arrangements for lunch. Just pick up the phone or send me a message once in a while so I know I'm not an afterthought.

N- Get off my back already. I am damn good at my job and I take pride in doing my job right. Stop insinuating that I'm not doing my job in a timely manner. Just because you need something yesterday doesn't mean I'm not already doing work for someone else. Stop sending me tasks to do at 4:40 and expect me to have them done before I go home.

The Powers That Be- How long do I have to wait.

Desparate_Friend · Post by **Desparate_Friend** » Fri Sep 12, 2003 7:51 pm

All of my friends except for one don't know that I'm on here( they all are) so this will most likely give it away but thats okay...

H- God I love ya girl. You are so amazing and talented. Your little red ridinghood. You are amazing in everyones eyes except for your own and I want to help you see that!

D-I'm wicked sorry. The whole summer was me thinking about you and feeling wicked bad. Those dances at banquet were so hard for me, it was like we were being forced to but the only being forced was you. I did like you, alot. Alot more than everyone knows. When I finally realized in August that you'd moved on, I moved on a little and I'm working towards moving more away. I know you won't read this but if you ever did I'd want you to kno that I did love you alot from November of 2001- August of 2003...Even if you didn't feel the same.

J-Listen. You are a bitch. You are mean. You are obessed. YET I've still stuck by you since kindergarden. I'm finally clearing my vision and I'm really trying to work with you but our friendship is falling aprat and you know why. Its not fair to you, me, or anyone else. We need to fix things or move on.

B-I may act like your my friend but deep down I'm angry. You drove her to killing herself and she almost died. You ruined everything. Yah its been awhile but you so blind and nieve.

K-I'm sorry that I say things. You kow why I do. I don't agree with you ever because its alway 2 against 1. No matter what I do she will support you and I'll be kicked to the curb.

KN-You barely know me and I'm in love with you...Too bad you don't know......

lore · Post by **lore** » Sat Sep 13, 2003 2:09 am

1 - i love you. why did i even say a thing... you dont care. you never post here, i bet you just lurk here to see what i post about you and my secrets. my lies, my life, my sorrows. you want to hear every fault of mine and throw them flaming in my face, as you know you're infinitely better than me. no need to impress me anymore, huh? you know how i feel and so i don't matter. i can be ignored now, you only spoke to me to see if i loved you, you only said "i love you" to get a confession from me. now you have it, and now you act all uncomfortable when inside i'm sure you're triumphant. "ugh, now i can get rid of her.." well is that what you want? great, you might just as well FUCKING GET IT!

2- you called today. what was that? are we becoming closer? that would be good.

3- i hope we'll be better friends, i need someone around here now that things with 1 are fucked up. i don't think i'll tell you about my problems, it isn't like i don't want help but look where it got me last time. maybe if i forget them i can get away from them. we have to do more together. i wanna call you, but i dont have your number in uxbridge. maybe we can go to the big e together. and make new memories. and start yoga. i have 20 bucks, why not?

4- you better not do anything with 5. you'll hurt 6, and i'll have to kill you...but i know you wouldn't. i know you have more than people think..i just envy you and it leads to contempt.

5 - i was debating a mathematic principle today. where were you when i needed you?

6- yay i get to see you soon...god what is our world coming to...you rock but i hope you and 7 are good.

7- if it were earlier i'd call you...i miss you too. it's been 4 months!

8 - it's been a long time, and yet i don't entirely care how long it's been. well, the both of you. it's a time past.

WickedWitchElphie · Post by **WickedWitchElphie** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 12:19 pm

K: I'm sorry I burden you. And don't tell me that I don't, because I know I do. When I called you yesterday I was a wreck and I know that I'm slowly taking away bits of your sanity, a little at a time. At least I truly have accomplished something I wanted and I know you're proud of me, but there's only one more thing I need to accomplish now to be happy. That's being with you. I don't care how long it takes you to get over her, I really don't. I'll wait forever, that's how much I care about you and wanna be with you. Please don't fall, know that I'm here, take my hand...you've saved me and now I'm gonna save you, now that I finally have more insight into the situation. I'm HERE, I'm not invisible, and I need you so much. I don't want you to just go away like you said, I want you to stay, I want you to hold me, and I want us both to finally be happy. This show is the last thing we need, this is what's going to bring us closer. And I've had this really weird feeling lately and I can't help but think you're feeling it too, so please just admit it to me and don't deny it. I really do love you, and we have such a great friendship, and I don't wanna fuck it up, but I feel like no matter how many times that I have thought I fucked it up, we just got closer. There's only so much closer we can be before we're overstepping boundaries. I don't want to overstep boundaries and feel used. I want to be able to be close and know that we're not just friends. I'm waiting, but please don't keep so much from me again, I was so hurt when you told me everything. I love you.

C: So you're just gonna stand there and insult me and call me stupid because I won't admit I was wrong? First of all, two people can play that game. Or three if you count K. Second of all, we don't gang up on you, we're just right. Me and partially him know what's best for me, and I'm sick of you trying to control my life. Maybe I don't wanna make up. Maybe I should give you my conditions first. You have to admit you were wrong, and you have to never say a bad thing about him when I'm in earshot. You know I love him, yet that makes you wanna degrade him more and more. If you're jealous that me and him are getting closer than just tell me, but I'm not gonna let go of what me and him have now, whatever it is.

L: I miss you like CRAZY!!! I wanna tell you so much but it's hard to, because I don't wanna trigger you, or burden you like I've burdened him. A lot has happened since...well you know when, it's not that hard to figure out. I want to see you, I want to make sure you're doing okay. I love you babe, thanks for being there for me.

Z: Hehe, it was nice of you to be on my side for once. Why do we always argue anyway?

N: You don't have to kill any ensemble members, I'm in, because I'm J, and because you and loads of other people supported me. Thank you so much, I love you!!! *hugs*

H: I loooooooove you darling!!! I'm soooo proud of you!!!

Okay, that's all for now.

-J

custoza · Post by **custoza** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 3:15 pm

stevie: I love you.. I know I'm not meant to say it but i do

leila: grow up... just grow up and get over it

nick: take some blame on yourself for once and stop blaming me

angelwithapintglass · Post by **angelwithapintglass** » Sun Sep 14, 2003 5:01 pm

SHE: havent you got over yourself yet? you really DO look stupid, you really DO fuck everything up and y'know what? THATS NOT GOOD! please, you act like a fucking whore, you're NOT one, you're just a fucking cocktease. who needs to be PUT TO SLEEP. you're PATHETIC. you're fucking butt UGLY, only no one can see past your fucking stupid mask that you put infront of yourself with your little attempts at being "goth" which just make you look like a fucking clown. a FAILURE clown. PLEASE - SHUT THE FUCK UP! GROW THE FUCK UP! MOOOVE OOON! you're boring us now. please, just get a life and fuck off. you've ruined everyones lives, including your own. stop pretending to be something you're not - its fucking STUPID. you're so naive, ignorant and childish its unbelievable. fuck off- get a life, get a clue, grow up, shut up. virgin.

BEN: lol.. guess what? i'm fucking over you. big time. i love it here.

though, there'll always be some akwardness but thats to be expected, no? i'm still mad at you. slightly. but i just dont care anymore. you hurt me. you know you hurt me.. and you apologised a few months ago. that made me laugh.. how you could come back 4 months later, after i've been through hell and back, and tell me you miss me, and you're sorry. how. fucking. predictable.
you need to grow up, ben.. you really do. and i'm not saying it to be bitter, and i'm not saying it to be mean.. i'm saying it because.. its one of the very few things left to say. i'm over you now. i'm over us. there was never anything there. i never really loved you. i know that now.
theres things you'll never know.. about us. about me.. things you inflicted on me.. and you dont deserve to know.

LEE: i love you more than anything. you are everything to me. you have saved me.. i have never loved anything, or anyone as much as i love you.. you are my world. i have to thank you every day for being here, being you, being mine.. its amazing. dont ever leave me - i couldnt live..

MUM: i'm sorry for being so stupid, assuming you're evil because you've made a few mistakes - i cant shake that "i hate mum" attitude, though. and i'm sorry for that, too.
thankyou for helping me this last week.. i really appreciate it..

MATT: its not surprising things have gone unsaid between us. you're one of my best mates around here and i'm glad i have you, but i cant seem to get myself to talk to you recently. things have gone.. squiffy.
what i've wanted to say.. is please dont like me? its.. not right. its me! i'm just luce! i'm not supposed to be anything special.. and i love lee. theres.. nothing there. i'm sorry. just.. forget me in that way. please.. i dont think i can handle it.

x

racewithdeath · Post by **racewithdeath** » Mon Sep 15, 2003 3:11 am

H- im sorry. i dont mean to be such a pain. you do still care about me right? thats really all im hanging on to right now. your really all i have. i dont know what to do anymore. not that i ever did. i feel like such crap.

i love you so much. why dont you get that your everything to me?

WORLD- I FUCKING HATE YOU. what do you want me to do? tell you every fucking thing! fine. here. ME= depressd, cutter, suicidal, anorexic, anxious, dyslexic, insane....AND DONT YOU FUCKING DARE CALL ME LESBIAN JUST BECAUSE SHES THE ONLY GOOD THING IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SELF- just go away. far far away.

circular_stripes? · Post by **circular_stripes?** » Tue Sep 16, 2003 1:41 am

*LANG*

P - shut up, shut up, just shut the fuck up. and stop fucking repeating yourself. and stop using me and pretending you dont. everyone sees it. and stop pretending what i told you didnt happen. it did, we both know it did.

Al - fuck off you manky nasty disgusting stalking 14 year old wanker. i hate you with such passion. you dont seem to get that it will not ever ever ever happen. maybe in your sick twisted dreams. but nowhere else. never ever. ever ever ever.

N - please just stop pretending you like me. stop talking to me.

K - i hate you for fucking it up. i hate you for betraying me. i hate hating parts of you. i hate having to write negative things about you here rather than positive things.

Sh - you mean so much to me. but stop telling me im the only person you like in that whole school. and stop showing me your books with pictures of your arms. never leave me. dont leave me. please never hate me. i know if you hate me there'll be trouble.

J - you're so fab. but dont randomly start conversations with us on the spot and expect us to be okay with it.

A - sorry. just, sorry.

Sa - feel better. get help. i love you.

F - stop being so fucking beautiful. stop hurting me without knowing. stop being so great, so fantastic, so amazing. stop making my stomach turn when i see you walk down the corridor.

Be - stop loving her. stop her loving you too. you know how much it hurts me. you know how much i fucking love her. stop it. just stop. quit telling me stupid bits of advice that you figure will make everything in my life fine.

B - you're a figment of my imagination, but why cant i be like you? why cant i be you? you're who ive always wanted to be, just not with that name. one day i will be. you'll see. and then i'll just be a figment of your imagination, except you wont want to be like me, you'll want to eraze me.

O - i dont know.

Se - get on with it.

Jo - you twat. you fucking twat. you're a fucking bastard and i hate your guts, get the fuck out of my town. get the fuck out of my trousers. fucking wanker.

Everyone - just fuck off and let me die. stop trying so fucking hard. stop trying. stop pretending. stop talking to me. just leave me alone. i liked having no friends, i liked it that way. stop touching me!

Me - you're a disgusting, fucked up little girl. who isnt who she wants to be. is nothing as to how she should be. you are fat and ugly. you need to get a life. you need to find friends who will stand by you, no matter what. you need help. you need to die.

WickedWitchElphie · Post by **WickedWitchElphie** » Wed Sep 17, 2003 8:13 pm

K: You're so awesome it's unhealthy. The writing in Drama today was the best self-esteem booster I've had in a while. And you're all those things to me!!! Don't forget it babe!!!

C: Happy we're friends again.

H: Hope you feel better, Z was a fuck, but you'll be better off this way. I'm here hunny, muchas amor.

Z: Don't touch me. And I am so serious.

-J

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