Things Left Unsaid *LA* v. 6

[Spidey]

10 months today. oh grey man i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. my smoke tetsuya...

[disastercake]

I love you and I think you could be my soul mate. Not in a weird, I want an intimate relationship way, but like we're kindred spirits and the universe brought us together. It's not how it's supposed to be though, soul mates are supposed to be intimate partners or best friends, not your husband's friend.

[disastercake]

WHY to you have to be such a spoiled bitch. You're over fifty fucking years old, quit acting like a child! I'm not getting in the middle of your shit and my loyalty will always be to B.

[Spidey]

You need to know that the answers that you give me tonight are extremely important to my healing and that sugarcoating will not do either of us any good. Nothing I say will be meant as an insult. I just want to know. That's all I want is to just know what was going on in the weeks leading up to her OD. Please let's not make this the shitfest it was the last time we talked. I need you right now to be truthful to me and for your understanding.

I know you think that I probably think about her like she does but we could not be more opposite in thought. And for that matter if she starts shit tonight or says even one word out of line I will fucking lose my shit.

[PokemonGeek]

Dear you,
I DO hope you are getting the help you need but you need to stop blaming me for everything and take responsibility for once like you always told me to do. You also need to realize that your "never lie" policy should have been applied to you as well as you applied to me. You spread lies about me all the time and even when I knew they weren't true and told others, you said that I "was lying again" and said that was proof that "everything" I "said was a lie." You need to stop blaming me for some of the most ridiculous things that aren't even true like I "stole" your "ring and sold it" and that I was "ruining" your "relationship" with your fiance. Be a woman for once in your life and just admit that you are no better than me in terms of morality. I'm not saying your a "bad" person but you need to drop the "holier-than-thou" act you do and stop making others look like the bad guys for your OWN bad decisions and mistakes. It isn't fair to anyone that you do this.

[disastercake]

It makes me really feel bad that you're so angry all the time. I wish you could see some positive things, and be thankful for what you have. Things aren't that bad and the world isn't out to get you.

[Stawberry_Lollipops]

You ungrateful woman. I spent three hundred dollars on that. I went to great lengths to get that money and you don't even to pretend that you like it. Actually it is rather more like you do a very poor job of pretending to like it. I thought you'd appreciate it because it was unique and different but no, of course though you always carry on about unique and diverse things, when you get something that is you don't like it. Give it back and I'll take my money back thank you very much.

[Stawberry_Lollipops]

You're a bitch. I hate you for just upping and leaving because things got too hard.

But....I miss you. So much. Both of you. This can't be the end. I miss you

[PokemonGeek]

I hope you're happy that I'm leaving the apartment complex next Wednesday. You broke your promise to me and I basically lost all hope and motivation that my lease here wasn't renewed. People may not understand it but YOU were the inspiration for me to try and improve my life and now it is in shambles. I was always there for you when you needed someone but when I needed you a year ago, you abandoned me like every other person did in the past. I gave you back your book in perfect condition. I hope you realize the significance of you abandoning me the way you did had an effect on me. You were my ONLY friend and now you hate me. I should have seen it coming. Everyone not related to me end up hating me at some point. I did all those favors for you and never told anyone your darkest secrets and you abandon me. That is the thanks I get for being a good friend. I am never coming back ever again so you will never have to deal with me again. It's too late now to try and make amends. I stupidly hoped for a year you would talk to me again like I did with all the others that abandoned me. This is why I never hope or ask for anything for myself. I know that if I do it will ALWAYS backfire on me so horribly that my life get screwed up even worse. All I ever wanted from you was for you to always be there for me when I needed a friend and even THAT was too much to ask for. I'm done hoping and wishing for stuff for myself. I will never get the things all that I truly ever wanted. Thanks for showing me that most of my dreams and wishes were stupid and pointless and that I'll never get a majority of them and that I don't deserve to have friends since they always end up hating me. I probably screwed up your life like I told you that I seem to do with practically everyone who comes in contact with me. I just don't see why I bother even trying to make friends if they'll just abandon me too. I honestly hope you know what you have done and are happy about it.

[Spidey]

Man sunshine do you have a lot of fuckin' balls. You have balls bigger than the checks your ego can cash, sunshine. Holy shit. Oh wait, the martyr's cry - you do everything, pay for everything, are responsible for everything.

Do us all a favour and pull your head out of your asshole, sunshine. Christ.

[Stawberry_Lollipops]

Why can't you treat me like you treat "little ness"? I'm grown up now, I'm no longer a child. I understand you might miss those days but they aren't coming back so treating me like you do and saying the little comments that you do isn't going to help either of us. Just accept that I'm an adult and you might find that's good too...maybe?

[Spidey]

I never realised until now just unhappy you were.

I'm sorry.

I would have come down a lot sooner had I not been such a self-absorbed asshole.

Fuck. I'm sorry.

[Spidey]

DONT SAY THAT

PLEASE

[WalkingStick]

Being alive is so fucking exhausting. It's taking so much effort to get through work. I hate everyone. Not really but really. Except you. I'm thankful for you.
I don't think I could make it through the next two days without you here.

If the meds aren't working I'd rather not take them. Shit. I'm already going crazy so what's the point.

[WalkingStick]

And thank you for understanding my scars but never bringing it up until I did.

[treasure]

i wanted to say hi, i wanted to ask why you were crying, but i'm sick and fragile and don't know if i can stand being triggered more than i am already. i'm sorry you're hurting, and i'm sorry i'm hurting, i kind of wanted to give you the care that i want for myself. i will probably have time to get to know people at this place (mental health halfway house) and maybe i will find out who you are. i wish i had the ability to make it better for everyone but the only answer i believe right now is su and i don't want to trigger anyone else.

[Stawberry_Lollipops]

What if it doesn't work? What then? What will become of me? Is there any other options left?

[Never Again]

are you not listening anymore?
were you ever listening?
have you just given up on me?

[WalkingStick]

Why the fuck haven't ANY of you asked how I've been doing? what kind of family is this? You all make me so mad even though I love you. I miss you. But I bared my soul out with my public blog and NONE OF YOU even reached out to me.
That hurts so much. And you all suck. And I"m disappointed in you all. I'm your daughter. Your little sister. But you don't even care.

[Birdie]

I see you everywhere. Funny stories, pleasant memories. In some ways, 4 months seems like ages ago, but in some ways, it feels like just yesterday. I miss you. I wrestle with the knowledge that we're no good for each other. You haunt me. In my happiest memories also lie my deepest regrets. I just can't shake you off. I'd like to, because I need to move on, as you have. I really should've known better. It was too good to be true that someone like you could actually fall for someone like me.

She's a lucky girl.