Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
- have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Yes. - what had happened just before?
I was doing stuff on the internet and chatting to a friend. - what were you thinking and feeling?
I was thinking that I needed to hurt myself, that I needed to punish myself. I had a vision in my mind of how I wanted it to be. - why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
Because that was when I had the opportunity, and this is the time of day when I normally do hurt myself if I'm going to. There wasn't an event that was the final straw, I don't think. - how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
It was just a decision I made... I think I'd made it a long time before... not sure what I could have done differently. I could have decided not to do it, I guess. But I didn't. - were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
No. - what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I didn't really try anything else. - in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
I could have distracted myself by talking more to my friend, maybe by talking to my family. - name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
I will think for at least five minutes before I do anything... not sure what else. - how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
It isn't resolved... it's not the kind of thing that gets resolved that easily because it's to do with how I feel about myself. I am getting therapy, though, so hopefully that will help in the long term. Short term I don't really know how I could resolve it. - are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
I feel like I'm in that emotional place all the time. - what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
Thinking for at least five minutes before doing anything
Talking to friend
Talking to family
About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.
- What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
I was alone and warm and comfortable. - Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
It was there for the taking. - What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
I would probably have waited until there was an opportunity. - If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
It would probably have stayed about the same this time... it wasn't a strong urge. - What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
Being alone. Being comfortable (ie warm and somewhere I feel relatively secure). - If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
scared
desperate
determined to make my own opportunities.
- What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
