Secrets Thread - Read first post!

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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jadestarwalking
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by jadestarwalking » Fri Nov 18, 2011 7:05 am

I want to be a devout Christian and a strong member of my church but they believe that my gender expression and sexual orientation are evil.
~*~*JadeStarWalking*~*~

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Chey
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by Chey » Fri Nov 18, 2011 2:27 pm

I want to eat unhealthy and foods that trigger my gall stone attacks so that I can get my gall bladder removed


" “In 900 years of time and space, I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important” — The Doctor, Season 6, Christmas Special
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stripysocks4christ
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by stripysocks4christ » Fri Nov 18, 2011 11:02 pm

i feel alone, and confused, and i dont know who i am anymore... :-?
"Love does not make the world go round... It’s what makes the ride worth while"
"Good friends lift you up when your wings forget to fly"

"Let Go and Let God"
"God will never let us fall without a plan on how to save us"
"For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" – Philippians 4:13

"I only lied so I didn't have to see the tears of disappointment in your eyes"
"I don't want the world to see me, cos I don't think that they'd understand..."

xx Kitti xx

:heart: :ylwheart: :grnheart: :blueheart: :lpurpheart: :blueheart: :grnheart: :ylwheart: :heart:

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blueberry
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by blueberry » Sat Nov 19, 2011 5:50 am

I'm not doing ok, I've dug my "everything is just fine" mask out. I'm sorry
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Kaleb
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by Kaleb » Tue Nov 22, 2011 11:44 pm

I can't stop reading all your old poems ... from when it was still Us ... the memories are painful in a way ... but I just can't let them go ... because I know how good those times were.
:purpstar: Hold Fast To Your Dreams, For If Dreams Die, Life Is a Broken Winged Bird, That Cannot Fly :purpstar:

If you think outside the box there's no such thing as square one.

No matter which sleeve you wear your heart,
Whichever way you wear your crown,
Tomorrow is another day to turn it all around
I will stop when I'm ready I'll shown everyone my cards
But for now I'll keep on playing even when the game gets hard.


:redstar: 19/07/1952 - 30/12/2013 Never Ever Forgotten :redstar:

13/05/14 - I Love Her

19/4/15 - The Day I Said Yes

17/06/17 - Rings swapped, Hearts interlocked

:moove: <-- Marlo & Mookau--> :moove:


:morning: Caffiene Addict since 2004
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strider 151
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by strider 151 » Wed Nov 23, 2011 10:57 pm

i dont really want to stay in school at all, and i really think im going to have to rethink my future.
PBH, Telling my parents, My place - All welcome [hugs, stars, challenges, questions are all ok :gooddeal: :Fade-color

In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.

:pangel: [Working Towards Recovery] :pangel:
*I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*
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Nicksy
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by Nicksy » Wed Nov 23, 2011 11:13 pm

I've giving serious consideration to running away

:grnstar:
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zyn
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by zyn » Wed Nov 23, 2011 11:23 pm

Yes, that's right. I'd quite like you to fuck me. Right now would be wonderful.

My hormones are fucked. My stomach hurts like a bitch too. But I still want you.

Impossible as it is.
"If knew what I thought I wouldn't need to make anything."
"Work is a fight against loneliness, against low self esteem, against depression, and against staying in bed. Sometimes my self esteem is so low that I cannot reach it even when I'm feeling down." - Martin Creed



SI free since 1st January 2012
Last SI: 23rd April 2013

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Beasty
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by Beasty » Fri Nov 25, 2011 1:48 am

I've definitely considered SU if I get rejected from all of my phd programs...
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

Eisa = Beasty's Twin

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guest567

Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by guest567 » Sat Nov 26, 2011 12:31 am

It is times like this that I really wish I had a significant other to support me.
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Kaleb
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by Kaleb » Sat Nov 26, 2011 11:01 pm

I found my bracelet today ... the beaded one .. you remember .. my one of the unique pair I had made for us .... I bet you threw yours out .... I didn't ... today it brought back so many memories ... good ones ... bad ones ... it hurts even after this many years .... :(
:purpstar: Hold Fast To Your Dreams, For If Dreams Die, Life Is a Broken Winged Bird, That Cannot Fly :purpstar:

If you think outside the box there's no such thing as square one.

No matter which sleeve you wear your heart,
Whichever way you wear your crown,
Tomorrow is another day to turn it all around
I will stop when I'm ready I'll shown everyone my cards
But for now I'll keep on playing even when the game gets hard.


:redstar: 19/07/1952 - 30/12/2013 Never Ever Forgotten :redstar:

13/05/14 - I Love Her

19/4/15 - The Day I Said Yes

17/06/17 - Rings swapped, Hearts interlocked

:moove: <-- Marlo & Mookau--> :moove:


:morning: Caffiene Addict since 2004
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blueberry
creating your space
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by blueberry » Sun Nov 27, 2011 4:01 am

part of me is glad you are experiencing what I was experiencing last year, since you believed my experience was not even worth your time to say "that sucks."

I wish I could act toward you the way you acted toward me- I can't bring myself to do it though- I'm not that evil even though you think that I am
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zyn
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by zyn » Sun Nov 27, 2011 11:40 pm

I want my teacher to fuck me. I'd rather let said teacher take my virginity than my boyfriend. I don't believe I'm real. I believe (currently) that said teacher is not real. I'm sick of pretending. I want to be IP just so someone will look after me and I don't have to. Because I can't look after me. I wish Severus Snape was real. I wish he hadn't died & that he married Hermione instead. I wish I lived in a book. I wish I didn't have to do this. I'm taking baby steps towards mental breakdown. It's my fault. I still want my teacher to fuck me. I'm infatuated with him. I want to hit my mum. I wish you'd STFU. I need you. My teacher makes me feel valued and beautiful. I get off on reading smut. I think Gerard Way looks yummy with read hair. I miss my coloured hair. I don't have any friends. I have too many secrets to write here.
"If knew what I thought I wouldn't need to make anything."
"Work is a fight against loneliness, against low self esteem, against depression, and against staying in bed. Sometimes my self esteem is so low that I cannot reach it even when I'm feeling down." - Martin Creed



SI free since 1st January 2012
Last SI: 23rd April 2013

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strider 151
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by strider 151 » Mon Nov 28, 2011 11:09 pm

im not coping with the amoutn of workload, and honestly i am really close to dropping out. idk what i would do if i did, but i just cant do it anymore. im scared about my future and having to explain this to everyone after i told them all of my abitions. i dont want to be a failure.
PBH, Telling my parents, My place - All welcome [hugs, stars, challenges, questions are all ok :gooddeal: :Fade-color

In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.

:pangel: [Working Towards Recovery] :pangel:
*I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*
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ffcsquall24
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by ffcsquall24 » Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:48 am

I have lost myself since she left me and I have no fucking idea where any of my pieces are.

I want to die. I do.
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Chey
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by Chey » Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:01 pm

I don't know how I can learn to trust you again. I thought your actions and behaviour were what you said before, early Alzheimer. Then you tell me you do pot and now all your behaviours make sense and I am afraid your gonna go jeckle and hyde on me like all the other crazy pot users I know.


" “In 900 years of time and space, I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important” — The Doctor, Season 6, Christmas Special
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strider 151
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by strider 151 » Fri Dec 02, 2011 11:38 pm

i dont understand why this happens, maybe its time to move on :/ i hate how you talk about me behind my back and write about me, and i think we are tearing at the seams and it realkly hurts, you dont seem to care though.
PBH, Telling my parents, My place - All welcome [hugs, stars, challenges, questions are all ok :gooddeal: :Fade-color

In the end, it doesnt matter where you have been or who you were,
it only matters who you want to be and where you want to end up.

:pangel: [Working Towards Recovery] :pangel:
*I can do all things through christ who strengthens me, Philippians 4:13*
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broken123
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by broken123 » Fri Dec 02, 2011 11:54 pm

I HATE HOW YOU THINK YOUR ALWAYS RIGHT. YOU ALWAYS HAVE AN ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING. IT SUCKS
But we must keep fighting, because all is never fully lost. There is always something worth fighting for, if we look hard enough.

Can I start again?

I just wish i could love myself, maybe then it wont matter that you never did...
*In Recovery*
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daisy_chain
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by daisy_chain » Wed Dec 07, 2011 4:13 pm

I'm so scared of failing.
I'm just dreaming out loud.

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stripysocks4christ
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Re: Secrets Thread - Read first post!

Post by stripysocks4christ » Thu Dec 08, 2011 11:45 pm

im so so scared... :L im falling apart and i cant gain control again.. i hate the road im going down, but i dont know how to stop it, i dont feel like i have any control over anything anymore.. i dont know whats happening to me, and its fucking terrifying..! :'(
"Love does not make the world go round... It’s what makes the ride worth while"
"Good friends lift you up when your wings forget to fly"

"Let Go and Let God"
"God will never let us fall without a plan on how to save us"
"For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" – Philippians 4:13

"I only lied so I didn't have to see the tears of disappointment in your eyes"
"I don't want the world to see me, cos I don't think that they'd understand..."

xx Kitti xx

:heart: :ylwheart: :grnheart: :blueheart: :lpurpheart: :blueheart: :grnheart: :ylwheart: :heart:

my place
my poems
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