after

[breathing]

[*] what had happened just before?
I was trying to study but was being distracted easily. I've also been having problems with accidentally encountering images of si online and having them trigger me :/

[*] what were you thinking and feeling?
I was thinking that I was stupid and feeling worthless.

[*] why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
I had finally gotten some quiet, alone time and decided to, then.

[*]how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
I started to have more negative feelings as the day continued and I wanted to make them stop. I wasn't helped by negative pictures that I had seen online. I guess that I could have just taken a nap instead of being awake. I had a feeling that I was going to end up si-ing before I even started to feel very angry.

[*] were there outside factors like drugs, alcohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
None, really. I was sleepy, though, but I guess I should have just gone to sleep.

[*] what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I tried to distract myself by reading online. It worked for a few hours.

[*] in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
I might have been able to just go on bus and read the coping threads or play simple online games.

[*] name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
I will try to read something encouraging or play a simple game that will not make me angry.

[*] how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
I feel like the situation is still ongoing. I still feel very negatively about myself, even now. I am also not finished with my work and this is a high stress period so I am in the same state. I will try to hold off until after the test tomorrow and hopefully I will feel better. I really hope so.

[*] are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
I still am. I recognize it by repetitive, negative thought patterns. I also recognize it by a feeling that someone is sitting on my chest and like I cannot fully *breathe*.

[*] what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
I will try to read something that will not make me angry, play a game, and distract myself with hopeful things.