Just One Victory - Coping With Substance Abuse Problems

[childofchaos831]

new here, but not really... been a really long time since i have been on this board... just wanted to introduce myself.

i am in recovery... i have 6 mos sober, and am working a 12 step program.
drugs of choice were alcohol and pills (of any kind).
i am also working the steps on the SI.

thanks for being here,
justme

[gail]

i have a problem with cocaine first tried it on Christmas day 2007 when i was on a section 3 in a secure psychiatric unit . Am trying so hard am currently free from use just over 2 weeks. Have had many starts and stops along the way

[childofchaos831]

i have a problem with cocaine first tried it on Christmas day 2007 when i was on a section 3 in a secure psychiatric unit . Am trying so hard am currently free from use just over 2 weeks. Have had many starts and stops along the way

Hello, Gail!

I have had many starts and stops along the way too... I started trying to get sober over 3 years ago. The longest I could get for a while was 3 months, but after a while I made it up to 15 and 1/2 months. Relapsed yet again, and now I am at 9 months, as of Tuesday. I know it is hard right now, but it gets better, I promise. Just hang in there, and feel free to pm me if you need to. I mainly drank and used prescription painkillers, but it's all the same when we are trying to get off of them.

[Rainier]

I'm new here. I have some pretty serious addiction issues, primarily opiates. I just came off of high doses of fentanyl and am now on Subutex, with the intent of getting off. I also have a long history of SI. A lot of this has to do with a seriously abusive childhood; I've been using drugs and engaging in SI for something on the order of 25 years. I decided to quit the drugs because they were going to kill me, no question...I have OD'd more times than I care to think about and have some permanent hearing damage as well as memory problems as a result.

I started going to NA meetings (again); the support is good, but I'm still not dealing with any of this well. I have a sponsor; he's a good guy and agrees with me about a lot of the issues I have with the program (neither one of us is into god), but seems at kind of a loss as far as some of the really self-destructive urges go.

Today is just a bad day. What I really want is to curl up in a corner and shoot dope; barring that, a session with a blade sounds damned attractive. I really don't want to go there, but don't know what the hell else to do with myself.

[childofchaos831]

Rainier, just wanted to let you know I read and I am here. I am in AA myself.

Hope everything works out for you.

~justme

[Sprinklez]

Sprink seems to have alcohol and pain killer issues. Along with weed sometimes.

[preciousthings]

SI was my first addiction, I started when I was about 11. There was too much shit going on around me and I couldn't handle the feeling of having no control. In HS I started drinking and drugging, I continued with the SI but really only once every few years, when things built up to a point where I felt I couldn't handle anything and I just wanted to distract myself from my feelings. I shifted from being completely out of control with alcohol/drugs to highly functional, but still completely dependent. I got sober this past Summer, and suddenly the obsession of SI came right back, full force. It is lessening because of all the effort I am putting into my recovery, but there are some days (like today) where it is just incessant, and my addict brain is telling me over and over that I deserve a good cutting session... a full on one that I haven't had in years. It's like someone who's overworked telling themselves that they need a vacation. I need a vacation from my emotions. I have conveniently found a way to SI without leaving too much of a mark, and I have done it about 3 times since I've been in recovery from drugs and alcohol. It actually reminds me a lot of drinking and drugging... I can't enjoy self injury when I do it the way I want to, and I can't enjoy it when I try to control it. I am hoping that the urges will continue to dissipate, but today was a reminder that I still have work to do. Thanks for listening.

[preciousthings]

SI was my first addiction, I started when I was about 11. There was too much shit going on around me and I couldn't handle the feeling of having no control. In HS I started drinking and drugging, I continued with the SI but really only once every few years, when things built up to a point where I felt I couldn't handle anything and I just wanted to distract myself from my feelings. I shifted from being completely out of control with alcohol/drugs to highly functional, but still completely dependent. I got sober this past Summer, and suddenly the obsession of SI came right back, full force. It is lessening because of all the effort I am putting into my recovery, but there are some days (like today) where it is just incessant, and my addict brain is telling me over and over that I deserve a good cutting session... a full on one that I haven't had in years. It's like someone who's overworked telling themselves that they need a vacation. I need a vacation from my emotions. I have conveniently found a way to SI without leaving too much of a mark, and I have done it about 3 times since I've been in recovery from drugs and alcohol. It actually reminds me a lot of drinking and drugging... I can't enjoy self injury when I do it the way I want to, and I can't enjoy it when I try to control it. I am hoping that the urges will continue to dissipate, but today was a reminder that I still have work to do. Thanks for listening.

[preciousthings]

SI was my first addiction, I started when I was about 11. There was too much shit going on around me and I couldn't handle the feeling of having no control. In HS I started drinking and drugging, I continued with the SI but really only once every few years, when things built up to a point where I felt I couldn't handle anything and I just wanted to distract myself from my feelings. I shifted from being completely out of control with alcohol/drugs to highly functional, but still completely dependent. I got sober this past Summer, and suddenly the obsession of SI came right back, full force. It is lessening because of all the effort I am putting into my recovery, but there are some days (like today) where it is just incessant, and my addict brain is telling me over and over that I deserve a good cutting session... a full on one that I haven't had in years. It's like someone who's overworked telling themselves that they need a vacation. I need a vacation from my emotions. I have conveniently found a way to SI without leaving too much of a mark, and I have done it about 3 times since I've been in recovery from drugs and alcohol. It actually reminds me a lot of drinking and drugging... I can't enjoy self injury when I do it the way I want to, and I can't enjoy it when I try to control it. I am hoping that the urges will continue to dissipate, but today was a reminder that I still have work to do. Thanks for listening.

[preciousthings]

SI was my first addiction, I started when I was about 11. There was too much shit going on around me and I couldn't handle the feeling of having no control. In HS I started drinking and drugging, I continued with the SI but really only once every few years, when things built up to a point where I felt I couldn't handle anything and I just wanted to distract myself from my feelings. I shifted from being completely out of control with alcohol/drugs to highly functional, but still completely dependent. I got sober this past Summer, and suddenly the obsession of SI came right back, full force. It is lessening because of all the effort I am putting into my recovery, but there are some days (like today) where it is just incessant, and my addict brain is telling me over and over that I deserve a good cutting session... a full on one that I haven't had in years. It's like someone who's overworked telling themselves that they need a vacation. I need a vacation from my emotions. I have conveniently found a way to SI without leaving too much of a mark, and I have done it about 3 times since I've been in recovery from drugs and alcohol. It actually reminds me a lot of drinking and drugging... I can't enjoy self injury when I do it the way I want to, and I can't enjoy it when I try to control it. I am hoping that the urges will continue to dissipate, but today was a reminder that I still have work to do. Thanks for listening.

[Jamas]

Detoxing from tramadol...

[Jamas]

any tips for sober living in a not sober place?

I am going to school away from home right now, and there are seriously drugs everywhere, and I'm trying to kind of get away from that. (I don't want to seriously get back into using.)


gretchen.

Hi Gretchen,

I hope you're in a better place now -- I'm sorry this reply comes a year late! I tried to stay away from drugs and alcohol in school, and I did it by changing my living situation as quickly as I could -- moved into a co-op house with like-minded people who had made a commitment to keeping away from drugs and alcohol. That helped a lot. I tried to stay in sober houses like that for as long as I could, and when I had parties, to advertise them as strictly sober parties.

Now I am living with my partner, and he doesn't share my preferences, but by now it's a little easier for me to stay clean by now (although the pain medicine I take for my back is seriously kicking my butt right now! )

If you can't change your living situation, I hope you can try to create a circle of protection for yourself, such as by declaring your room a "substance-free zone," or spending a lot of time in libraries or 12-step meetings or at sober student activities or in other safe & dry (sober, drug-free) spaces.

Good luck!

[Jamas]

Update: detox complete! All better now!

[Nicksy]

Nice one Jamas

[Jamas]

Thanks, Nicksy!

[Jamas]

I appear to have a problem with narcotic pain medicine... I like being pain-free; I like sleeping; I like being put right to sleep without having to lie awake and wait; I like being immobilized so that my back can heal comfortably... and I have the chemical tolerance of a little kitten.

I have an unfortunate tendency to mix medicines. And that makes it very difficult to get anything done.

Gotta straighten up!

[splitimage]

Jamas, Hi - just found this thread. I've only been on BUS forever and just discovered it today. I guess I don't come to coping very often. Anyways, mixing meds is a seriously bad idea, but you know that. It's a really good way to get really F*d up.

Yesterday I hit 8 months sober.

splitimage

[Jamas]

Thanks, splitimage. congratulations!!!
I am really proud of you for your 8 months!

[RG]

Huge congrats splitimage! And Jamas thats another huge congrats! The only thing I cant tell you is it gets better. I have dealt with persciption narcotics as well as alcohol issues and its not fun, I have a few days behind me now . Feel free to PM me at any time. Keep up the great work one and all!

[FilthSparrow]

little late but congrats Spiltmage!