Things Left Unsaid *LA*

[sweetelisum]

C- 2 days in a row. I can't believe that you've done this to me again. You play poor pitiful you b/c you feel minorly depressed and lazy and have to fix a leak in your roof. I respond to you telling you how I'm here now' no car, no job, no friends, no life...not even a cig, diet coke, martini, anything to keep me calm and all you have to text is "sorry. you're always so positive when your problems are bigger than mine so i thought you would be now. ur strong and i'm weak"
so i tell you i'm not feeling very fucking strong right now. i am isolated, constantly alone, hurting immensly! how i wish i were a rock but that i'm just not at this point and that i am so close to giving up...and what do you do? Never respond back. I have professed more open to you than i have in quite some time the depth of the pain i am feeling emotionally and you can't even respond to me. What if that were the last time you we ever spoke. what that was the end of the line for me??? Would you be glad knowing your cocktail hour and impromptu service call took priorety??? I can't stop crying, but you wouldn't know that, would you?

[southsider]

You were right, but I can't admit that to you. At least not yet. I'm tired. I don't want to go round and round on this because I don't believe my points are entirely invalid. I'm still seeking balance, regardless of what you may believe.

This too shall pass.

[ambivalent red]

Tell me what to do. Give me a fucking direction. Dont give me a desk and tell me to work! I need training! I cant read minds!!!!!!

[Annybelly]

HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF COVERING YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU COUGH YOU LOSER? NOW UC MADE ME ILL AS WELL. THANKS. A LOT. GREAT.
I COULD KILL YOU RIGHT NOW. SOME STUFF WAS GONNA GET SORTED 2MORROW. AND NOW IT MIGHT NOT BE, ALL BECAUSE U MADE ME ILL
GAH.

i *really* hated u 2day. uv been coughing all over me all week, and today.. gah, i wanted to hurt u, i really did. can u not tell we dont care? can u not sto lying? ur just a loser..

[volta]

i wish i had a reason to want to cut so badly.
guess the reason's just *me.*

[Sprinklez]

*slight sex trig*
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I miss you. It's killing me. You always said you'd be there. That I could trust you. You'd never leave me. But now? Now you're gone. What the hell? I miss you S. You're the first girl I've ever loved. The first girl I ever kissed. The first girl I ever made love to. Because of you, I accepted my bisexuality, put my issues in the past, and allowed myself to truly love another girl. I don't care if we can't be together, but I do care if we can't be friends.

..I'll never forget you the way you seem to have forgotten me.

[strider 151]

why do u always make me feel so fucking aweful everytime i talk to you? im innocent dammit! i havent dont anything wrong and yet you make me feel so rubbish

thanks a lot, needed that right now. thanks a fucking bunch

[strider 151]

cant find words so found this song instead

I never meant to hurt you
I never thought my words could cut right through, leaving open wounds
In all this open space, I took myself into a place
I never should have gone, I never should have gone
Oh, the damage is done
Lay me down in fields of green
This heart has seen things I never should have seen
you're breaking my legs and teaching me
I never saw my own pride
I never thought my lips could taste of lies, and kiss your crying eyes
And all the scars you've gained, from crimson covered hands
That held your face when they were strong, my hands used to be so strong
Oh the damage they've done
I found my place amont the seas, I found this grace upon my knees

[strider 151]

i post here too much....

M - OMG!!!!! you have no right to spread rumours about me and talk about me behind my back. you are just reinforcing what i have already told myself about being worthless, so thanks for that. thanks a lot.

J - what right do u have to say that to me? what right do u have to make me feel rubbish? get a life, stop stalking me and stop triggering me, i dont need this and i cant deal with this right now! stop lying aswell. you said you love me so u should care, and then u say u dont? well you brought it up so u obviously do


I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE, I NEED TO GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Beasty]

I can't believe I am hoping for an email from you. I guess I've reached the point where I can reach out. Two assaults and here I am. A bloody mess. I chose you to talk to, chose you to help me when I could barely go through a couple days without stoning myself on diphenhydramine. (I still want to do that, by the way). Two of my friends recommended you to me and they were right. I haven't emailed you and I shan't and I know you won't because you know I'm out of town but still part of me hopes. I shall, of course, send you an update eventually as you request from me, but some part wants you to inquire.

And, You. This is going to sound bloody STUPID but I miss a shared smile when I am in my Nook and I see you going to the loo. Conversations. Milton. My sock feet and your stocking feet. I think of you every day. You and the other one: I miss you both. You took me to the hospital. You were my protector and guardian in every way that mattered to me. You took me into your home and fed me.

And You. Part of this is YOUR fault. I know you only wanted to help me, to do what you thought best. You honoured my wishes but only after laying upon me the biggest guilt trip: "I shall feel guilty about this for the rest of my life. Like I did not do enough for you, if your parents do not hear about this." As if I could life the rest of my life at peace, knowing that your guilt could be assuaged by my telling them. Now my break time with them is a silent hell and I do not feel at ease with them anymore. Part of me blames you.

[Annybelly]

WHAT THE FUCK.

WHAT THE HELL.

HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO MY FRIEND. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU. DO U NO WHAT SHES BEEN THRU? PROLLY NOT. A FEW WEEKS AGO, U WERE ASKING ME WHAT WAS UP WITH HER, ACTING ALL FRIENDLY. WELL GUESS WHAT? IV NEVER BEEN SO GLAD I DIDNT TELL SOMEONE. BECAUSE L DOESNT DESERVE A TXT LIKE THAT.
U DONT DESERVE L.
HOW COULD U..

I WAS UR FRIEND.

I NEVER THOUGHT UD END UP LIKE THAT N, THAT IS LOW. LOWER THAN I THOUGHT EVEN U WOULD GO.

U DISGUST ME TBH. U DONT DESERVE HAVING L, SHES 2 GOOD 4 U.

[xXelmoscaresmeXx]

thanks for remembering me, guys. (am i really that invisible? i was gone for months, and no one even fucking noticed...)

[strider 151]

your such a liar. 'im not using the home phone because its quicker just to use my mobile so i dont have to type in the numbers' whatever! just admit it, your not at home. you dont need to fucking lie about it. i dont care what you get up to, i dont care what you do, i just want the flipping truth! why cant u even tell me the truth? i heard the noises in the background, those werent the normal house noises. what example are you setting? your teaching me to lie, lie lie lie and LIE! thanks for that.i'm SO proud of you, your SUCH a great role model. heh, thought mums where supposed to be kind & gentil & tell the truth?

[Butterfly.]

I couldn't tell you everything. I wish I could. I'm so confused. and it's you I like
- - - -
I want to tell you how much of a mess I am, but I'm scared to admit it & how bad it's gotten. I want my life back.

[Beasty]

Please tell me it was not you. That's all I ask. You promised me "your best discretion". Did you exercise it? Did the panicked tears of a lying woman undo you and things you promised to keep silent spill from your lips?

I must believe it was not you. I must believe it was them for they are forever biased towards the generation above me. I know they fancy me simply for my relation to my parents and grandparents. Surely they would be the ones to add a "by the way, she had this happen so she has done this before." Surely it could not have been you. You promised me. To be honest, I do not believe it was you. However, I am eaten by doubt as always.

[capricorn]

Stop treating me like a child. Just stop it.

[Eva]

I wish I wasn't so insesure. I wish I've had a lot of succesful experiences, so I wouldn't feel this way. Now I know how it will end. Because it just can't go otherwise. I don't know how to behave. I don't know how not to panic. I'm scared. I'm scared it will always be this way, and I will be alone forever. I wish it could be different this time...but really I don't think so. I recognize these thoughts and feelings..they come, because I know how it will end. It's always the same situation, but with different persons. I wish it could be different..just this time

[MusicalMorphine]

Maybe you do care after all.. Things have been so up and down lately, I just needed us to be consistent.

[Twinky]

shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut upshut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut upshut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP! shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shtu up shut up shut upshut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP! shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!!!

You don't know me AT ALL!!! WHAT GIVES YOU A RIGHT TO TREAT ME THIS WAY!?! You messed up sad sad sad child.

[strider 151]

*if you know me irl please please dont read this*

what the f are you doing? live the christian life or dont, be an example for good or bad. choose a fucking side! i cant accept your advice anymore because ur such a hipocrate. its you thats leading them astray! accept the responsability and do something because i cant lead without you, but i cant lead with you if your like this.

im sorry, i havent felt like this before, this controlled concerned anger for someone i love, so idk who to deal with it, but please listen to me! open your eyes and look around you, look what you have become, look what your doing & what path your on.

the way your going, your going straight to death & taking them all with you