After

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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Beasty
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After

Post by Beasty » Sat Jan 23, 2010 7:08 am

have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Yes I have.

what had happened just before?
I was sitting here, feeling like the earth was tipping on its side and i'd fall off it. metaphorically.

what were you thinking and feeling?
I was thinking how dissociated I was starting to feel. I felt lost and hurt and alone.

why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
Honestly, I just somehow walked over to a potential tool and used it before I could consider why. It's like my body went on auto-pilot.

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
I... I don't know. I was just sitting here reading, and then everything went downward. The only stopping point I can think of is the one right before my body hit autopilot. But I can't think of anything that tipped me off.

were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
Stress from school, maybe. Stress from potential pregnancy. Not enough sleep, i feel. Though I did get 8 hours it simply didn't feel like enough.

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
I didn't. :blfrwn: I suppose I could have gone outside and walked. But it's cold outside.

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
Try to recognise the point of autopilot. Maybe hide the tools under reminders telling me to try the coping mechanisms.

how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
I think it is resolved.

are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
Most likely. I'm generally good at self-awareness, but less at moderating the consequences of my awareness. I can recognise the thought processes i take, but it's finding the will to alter them.

what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
Umm... doing something with my hands. Like writing or something. Perhaps I will snap a rubber band. Or go find someone to talk to.
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

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