Coping with misunderstanding..warning si

[PLAIN JANE]

I told a civilian about my si..he can't deal..I wanted to be honest.
It cost me a good relationship.
So are we supposed to lie?

[Chaocontrol6]

I don't think you lie...I just feel there are times that telling the truth is inappropriate and so waiting is better. It's hard to say nothing sometimes, but it just has to be how it has to be =/

Jason

[handmade mute]

I wish I had something helpful to say; I flit between brutal honesty and total denial.

[elizabethpoe31]

It's a fine line to walk, I agree, as well as kind of one of those "moral issues with no answer". Unfortunately....
Everyone I have told in the past was either "mental health help" related or had SIed at some point....beyond that, I have a hard time believing that very many people can understand what goes on in 'our' heads...
Sorry that was not very uplifting, but....*shrugs*
Stay safe,
-Elizabeth

[Jen729]

No, one shouldn't lie about it unless they, *themselves*, aren't ready to share.
If you are ready to share and lost a friend when you did, they weren't the kind of friend you'd want anyway.
-At least that's my take on it. Real friends will stick with you through your worst and lowest. If they run, that person was never a true friend to begin with. (In my opinion.)

I have found, though, that unless the person SI's as well, they are literally incapable of understanding why we do it-- so if they are sticking around after we open up, but are upset by it or are blaming themselves, or the relationship becomes tense, it's unfortunately normal. Even when they do stay after we confide our secret in them, there's a long road to a calm understanding laying ahead.

Personally, I congratulate you for being so open. Not a lot of us are.

~J