[*]how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
i'm having a hard time really understanding what i'm feeling, so having a cut on my arm will make it clearer and it won't feel as if it's just in my head; it'll make the problem real. i'll have something more tangible and it feels as if it would make the fog go away and everything will be in focus again.
[*]what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it won't bring anything except another cut/scar. it might take some of the uncertainty away from the situation.
[*]how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
it's not really going to change it at all.
[*]if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
i'll feel good for the night and it will help me to sleep but i'll just feel an idiot in the morning. but the relief will last long enough for me to sleep.
[*]what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
i could shower and just go to bed but i feel like this is something i need to do whilst i shower and before i go to bed.
[*]how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
tomorrow i don't think i'll feel like i let myself down but i'll feel a bit of an idiot as i'm meant to be past all this. i don't hurt myself anymore because it's a stupid way to cope to be honest. i'm an adult now and i'll feel silly for not making an adult choice... but this isn't enough to deter me because i guess i can only focus on the now, not tomorrow.
[*]what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?[/list]
i guess i want to sleep....
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
-feeling lonely, missing home a lot, the C situation and him not being in contact, jobs, life losing meaning - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
i don't know - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
i'm the queen of procrastination so i've kept putting off the urge to si. - How do I feel right now?
lonely, sad, tearful - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
good. - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
a twat - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
i can't... that's the problem - Do I need to hurt myself?
yes. no. i don't know.
