Strike Back of Secrets! [The Secrets Thread - Read 1st Post]

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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VowsOfSadness
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Post by VowsOfSadness » Fri May 29, 2009 3:50 pm

sometimes I feel guilty about living my life while he's gone away at rehab, sometimes I couldn't give a shit because he had his chance & he ruined it. Sometimes I want to make him jealous, see what he missed, but I don't because I love him & we have a good relationship, I just want him to be clean. I get mad because his addiction affected my life, put strain on my life, not only did the police get involved but I look bad. I didn't even do anything.
*Challenges welcome*
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I woke up this morning, I suddenly realized we're all in this together.

Drop by my place & say hi :)
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catylyx,ver.2
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Post by catylyx,ver.2 » Fri May 29, 2009 5:05 pm

sometimes i wish i didn't feel so much responsibility and obligation towards my family and could just say "fuck all" and move back and be poor and happy and live in a crappy little apartment sharing one car and just being in love and oblivious to the world around us.


i'm sorry i can't do that.



i'm trying too hard to make them happy, and to be a good daughter, and to be a good person, and to make a life for us here where there's more for us and so much more that we can do.


:redstar:

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septemberstorm11
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Post by septemberstorm11 » Fri May 29, 2009 6:39 pm

I feel like I can't tell anyone how bad I'm feeling because I hate it when people worry about me. I'm sick of being a burden to everyone around me.

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catylyx,ver.2
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Post by catylyx,ver.2 » Fri May 29, 2009 6:59 pm

when i make you mad at me its because its easier for me to give in to my ed and not feel bad because you get upset when i do.
i love you. i'm sorry.



:redstar:

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vampirelover
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Post by vampirelover » Fri May 29, 2009 10:17 pm

part of me think im only with you because you make me feel safe
longest with no slips - 2 years , 6 months
time since last slip : 2 days

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septemberstorm11
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Post by septemberstorm11 » Fri May 29, 2009 11:11 pm

I don't want to stop. I'm sorry.

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Post by PaxPacis » Sun May 31, 2009 10:53 pm

I'll never be good enough and don't deserve to succeed. Even when succeeding as now, I'm doing everything I can to sabotage myself, because, you see, my success still won't be good enough for them, or me now (Isn't that hideous? I'm doing it to myself now).

I'm a failure: I deserve to be punished. But I'm so tired of trying, and punishing, and punishing. . . .

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Post by zazie » Sun May 31, 2009 11:02 pm

The reason I get so bothered when it sounds like people think I'm not really trying and could fix things if I just tried harder is because deep-down, I think they're right. I've got a definite lazy streak, and I do try to fight it, but not persistently, and not as hard as I should
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steady hands
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Post by steady hands » Mon Jun 01, 2009 10:21 pm

I commit certain details and snippets of my life to memory in sentence form so that I will remember them when I write a memoir about my life.


:o

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Post by guest567 » Fri Jun 05, 2009 8:26 pm

I am hiding stuff from people.

PaxPacis
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Post by PaxPacis » Fri Jun 05, 2009 9:10 pm

I just removed someone as a friend on facebook and I feel really guilty

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insaneTrash
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Post by insaneTrash » Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:49 pm

I promised my best friend that if he told me what had been annoying him about me today I wouldn't self harm over it.
Now I'm home and wanting to self harm because I now feel worthless.

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SplinteredGirl
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Post by SplinteredGirl » Sat Jun 06, 2009 9:34 am

[size=9]i feel like choking myself badly right now..[/size]



i SIed on my leg so i wouldnt have to tell you i started again

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insaneTrash
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Post by insaneTrash » Sat Jun 06, 2009 10:36 am

I self harmed again last night. Even though I promised you I wouldn't... Sorry for lying to you again.

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calypso
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Post by calypso » Sun Jun 07, 2009 1:02 pm

I'm just letting the ED take control now.

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Post by Mind Explorer » Sun Jun 07, 2009 8:14 pm

I really, really, really want to SI now. I know I won't. I won't to go to sleep to forget it all, but I have to study for exams... Just have to sit it through I guess. I SI'ed a little bit yesterday, after several years without.
And I don't want to tell my T about all of this, I really don't, but I know I'll have to. Still having doubts about telling. I hate to feel weak, I do when I tell someone I am not ok.

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zombiepeople
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Post by zombiepeople » Mon Jun 08, 2009 4:06 am

*Drugs a bit*
I'm terrified to talk to people on the phone, yet I have no problem calling my dealer to get drugs
"Wouldn't it be great to heal the world with only a song?"
~Serj Tankian
"Honking Antelope

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Beasty
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Post by Beasty » Mon Jun 08, 2009 4:19 am

Sometimes I really hate being lonely. Other times I could NOT give a flying shit.
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

Eisa = Beasty's Twin

Beasty's Place!

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amyfairy
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Post by amyfairy » Tue Jun 09, 2009 1:25 am

calypso wrote:I'm just letting the ED take control now.
Why?
:1hug:

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loveLights
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Post by loveLights » Tue Jun 09, 2009 2:34 am

I don't really want a divorce. I'm just afraid that he would want a divorce if he knew everything, and I don't want to be the last one to want a divorce.

I want to hurt myself. (I don't think I will tonight, just saying I want to.)

I don't want to work on my issues.

I want to still lie about something....all the time.....even in this post....even when I have nothing to hide.

I don't ever eat right unless someone is watching.

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