Strike Back of Secrets! [The Secrets Thread - Read 1st Post]

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Fri May 29, 2009 3:50 pm

sometimes I feel guilty about living my life while he's gone away at rehab, sometimes I couldn't give a shit because he had his chance & he ruined it. Sometimes I want to make him jealous, see what he missed, but I don't because I love him & we have a good relationship, I just want him to be clean. I get mad because his addiction affected my life, put strain on my life, not only did the police get involved but I look bad. I didn't even do anything.

catylyx,ver.2 · Post by **catylyx,ver.2** » Fri May 29, 2009 5:05 pm

sometimes i wish i didn't feel so much responsibility and obligation towards my family and could just say "fuck all" and move back and be poor and happy and live in a crappy little apartment sharing one car and just being in love and oblivious to the world around us.

i'm sorry i can't do that.

i'm trying too hard to make them happy, and to be a good daughter, and to be a good person, and to make a life for us here where there's more for us and so much more that we can do.

septemberstorm11 · Post by **septemberstorm11** » Fri May 29, 2009 6:39 pm

I feel like I can't tell anyone how bad I'm feeling because I hate it when people worry about me. I'm sick of being a burden to everyone around me.

catylyx,ver.2 · Post by **catylyx,ver.2** » Fri May 29, 2009 6:59 pm

when i make you mad at me its because its easier for me to give in to my ed and not feel bad because you get upset when i do.
i love you. i'm sorry.

vampirelover · Post by **vampirelover** » Fri May 29, 2009 10:17 pm

part of me think im only with you because you make me feel safe

septemberstorm11 · Post by **septemberstorm11** » Fri May 29, 2009 11:11 pm

I don't want to stop. I'm sorry.

PaxPacis · Post by **PaxPacis** » Sun May 31, 2009 10:53 pm

I'll never be good enough and don't deserve to succeed. Even when succeeding as now, I'm doing everything I can to sabotage myself, because, you see, my success still won't be good enough for them, or me now (Isn't that hideous? I'm doing it to myself now).

I'm a failure: I deserve to be punished. But I'm so tired of trying, and punishing, and punishing. . . .

zazie · Post by **zazie** » Sun May 31, 2009 11:02 pm

The reason I get so bothered when it sounds like people think I'm not really trying and could fix things if I just tried harder is because deep-down, I think they're right. I've got a definite lazy streak, and I do try to fight it, but not persistently, and not as hard as I should

steady hands · Post by **steady hands** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 10:21 pm

I commit certain details and snippets of my life to memory in sentence form so that I will remember them when I write a memoir about my life.

guest567 · Post by **guest567** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 8:26 pm

I am hiding stuff from people.

PaxPacis · Post by **PaxPacis** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 9:10 pm

I just removed someone as a friend on facebook and I feel really guilty

insaneTrash · Post by **insaneTrash** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:49 pm

I promised my best friend that if he told me what had been annoying him about me today I wouldn't self harm over it.
Now I'm home and wanting to self harm because I now feel worthless.

SplinteredGirl · Post by **SplinteredGirl** » Sat Jun 06, 2009 9:34 am

[size=9]i feel like choking myself badly right now..[/size]

i SIed on my leg so i wouldnt have to tell you i started again

insaneTrash · Post by **insaneTrash** » Sat Jun 06, 2009 10:36 am

I self harmed again last night. Even though I promised you I wouldn't... Sorry for lying to you again.

calypso · Post by **calypso** » Sun Jun 07, 2009 1:02 pm

I'm just letting the ED take control now.

Mind Explorer · Post by **Mind Explorer** » Sun Jun 07, 2009 8:14 pm

I really, really, really want to SI now. I know I won't. I won't to go to sleep to forget it all, but I have to study for exams... Just have to sit it through I guess. I SI'ed a little bit yesterday, after several years without.
And I don't want to tell my T about all of this, I really don't, but I know I'll have to. Still having doubts about telling. I hate to feel weak, I do when I tell someone I am not ok.

zombiepeople · Post by **zombiepeople** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 4:06 am

*Drugs a bit*
I'm terrified to talk to people on the phone, yet I have no problem calling my dealer to get drugs

Beasty · Post by **Beasty** » Mon Jun 08, 2009 4:19 am

Sometimes I really hate being lonely. Other times I could NOT give a flying shit.

amyfairy · Post by **amyfairy** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 1:25 am

calypso wrote:I'm just letting the ED take control now.

Why?

loveLights · Post by **loveLights** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 2:34 am

I don't really want a divorce. I'm just afraid that he would want a divorce if he knew everything, and I don't want to be the last one to want a divorce.

I want to hurt myself. (I don't think I will tonight, just saying I want to.)

I don't want to work on my issues.

I want to still lie about something....all the time.....even in this post....even when I have nothing to hide.

I don't ever eat right unless someone is watching.

bus

Strike Back of Secrets! [The Secrets Thread - Read 1st Post]

Who is online