Strike Back of Secrets! [The Secrets Thread - Read 1st Post]

kermit · Post by **kermit** » Thu May 14, 2009 9:14 pm

I cut again tonight. I was trying to cut deeper but I couldn't. I know it's not the case but it feels like it would help. Maybe it's attention seeking. I want help but I can't think of any way in which anyone could help me right now. So what would be the point in asking? I feel like I want people to know about the extension. I want support or sympathy or something but I know I couldn't deal with it, it would feel like pity. But I have hopes of girly hugs and kind words and nice gestures. But i'm not used to that. I've never had that. I shouldn't expect that.

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Fri May 15, 2009 5:57 am

amyfairy wrote:
Licentia Poetica wrote:
amyfairy wrote:i've put on some weight, a couple of pounds, but i think that's okay?
yup
good. i'm trying to convince myself and it's somehow working.
i guess my secret is that i skipped a period which never happens so it's good i'm gaining the weight a lost. i must look healthier. okay, trying to be okay with this!

looking healthy is always good

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Fri May 15, 2009 6:02 am

even if I want to go to bed I wait up till midnight when you get off work (or I turn my text alert on to an alarm ringtone so it will wake me up) so that we can have a "wind down the day conversation" you know, how was work, how was your day, and always the I love you.

I realized from when we fight that I JUST can't sleep without our wind down conversation. I really don't feel right if I don't tell you goodnight.

You are the first person I love. I never even believed in love. I thought it was stupid. All my ex's I would never tell them I loved them even if they said it.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Fri May 15, 2009 12:07 pm

If I don't get short-listed for this, it's quite possible that I'll burst into tears at work....

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Sat May 16, 2009 9:42 pm

I'm afraid while you're in rehab fixing your life I'll be left behind.

steady hands · Post by **steady hands** » Sun May 17, 2009 7:40 pm

I feel pathetic for not being able to tell you that the reason I'm not going to graduate is because I'm too depressed to be able to focus on anything.

So now you just think I'm lazy.

But I don't think not being able to get out of bed because you wish you hadn't woken up is the same as not wanting to get up because the bed is warm.

I am so ashamed of myself for so many different reasons.

loss · Post by **loss** » Mon May 18, 2009 2:57 am

I'm scared. of everything. I wanted to die so much today.

Post by **Spidey** » Mon May 18, 2009 3:58 am

loss wrote:I'm scared. of everything. I wanted to die so much today.

I hear you, but life is infinitely more interesting than death.

Inthebox · Post by **Inthebox** » Tue May 19, 2009 4:04 am

I hope you never quit smoking again, you got so cruel and mean and out of control.

Post by **strmdncr** » Tue May 19, 2009 7:56 am

I feel like a fake, a fraud because even though I make it to the goals I set for myself I still never feel like I've done good enough to make you proud.

zaphriel · Post by **zaphriel** » Tue May 19, 2009 12:09 pm

I will never have done enough to please you.
(pm)

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Wed May 20, 2009 7:15 am

i feel like I don't know you.

you empty shell.

or is that me?
Because you're hollowing me out.

kermit · Post by **kermit** » Fri May 22, 2009 10:01 pm

I like that I've finally been able to SI 'well'. I know this is twisted.

Geordie · Post by **Geordie** » Sun May 24, 2009 6:13 pm

I say I have no friends, and it feels true. But there are people who care about me. I feel selfish for not being well for them.

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Sun May 24, 2009 8:49 pm

when I see pictures of everyone with their mates I just get really jealous. Ryan's not around. We don't even have pictures of us together.

amyfairy · Post by **amyfairy** » Tue May 26, 2009 10:23 pm

this isn't a secret, more something i can't talk about irl.
*ed*

*
*
*

i really want to lose weight. i was triggered today as someone said someone else was tiny and i want that person to be me. i know many people say it, but other ppl are small and i need to be smaller and i'm not and i hate that.

i have always been known for being petite. it is part of my identity. i don't know how i would handle putting on weight.
i wish i didn't feel hunger, i don't want to have to eat.
i want to be tiny and shock people with bones.
i know i shouldn't feel this way which makes me feel guilty. but the truth is, i do.

vampire_kisses · Post by **vampire_kisses** » Wed May 27, 2009 3:00 am

I'm too depressed and too stressed out to focus on my schoolwork- its the last quarter of my junior year, the absolute most crucial time for me...I've given up and I'm settling for community college, because they have no standards. One of my brothers went to a good state university, the other is going to a prestigious military university, I, as always, will cointinue to be not nearly as good, not nearly as smart, not nearly as worth it. What else is new?

acdcrocker1909 · Post by **acdcrocker1909** » Wed May 27, 2009 2:46 pm

I'm marrying my soulmate. She just happens to be female.

vampirelover · Post by **vampirelover** » Wed May 27, 2009 3:52 pm

im scared that you dont love me but im more scared that you do

Stefani140 · Post by **Stefani140** » Wed May 27, 2009 3:55 pm

I want to push him, I want to push him until he snaps...just to prove that he doesn't really love me that much. But, I don't because I don't want to risk losing him either.

bus

Strike Back of Secrets! [The Secrets Thread - Read 1st Post]

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