Made day 16 this morning.

[osc]

I've had a distinctly unpleasant series of weeks and have been looking for ways to divert myself from my usual end-game. No details but will say that I'm officially at day 16 without any si - as of late that’s a big deal for me.

I'm motivated to stop my SI. My 14 year old daughter has recently put 2 and 2 together and knows what I am doing. I've talked to her but do not want her to be worried about me and I want to do that without lying to her.

Motivation only gets me so far. I need to actively distract myself. I have read a lot in the last couple of weeks but in recent days I've been on a poetry kick. I picked up some Allen Ginsberg and gave his work a read. I'm still ruminating on what I think of it. I dabbled in a little William S. Burroughs, I'm usually a fan, but wasn't in the mood for the old man. Ready to put my kick on hold, I came across a box of old books of mine that I brought with me in my move and found my Charles Bukowski collection. I think they once belonged to an old boyfriend...ha, they are mine now.

I've recently seperated from my husband and moved into an apartment. So I also finished unpacking, cleaned from one end to the other. Wrestled my cats into submission to trim their claws. Kidnapped my poor neglected piano and started working on picking out Moonlight Sonata, Let it Be, and It Ends Tonight - my hands don't listen to me like they used to and I find that frustrating and a little disappointing. When I wasn't on the poetry kick I read up on American history according to Howard Zinn (I think everyone has that book) and perused the Bhagavad Gita. Before I hit the book store, I had even resorted to reading one of my old physics texts. Should you ever want to discuss the index of linear refraction - I'm ready.

Hopefully I will see day 17.

J

[ThanksALatte]

That's great! Congrats!

[Spidey]

Good luck