Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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5th section
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Post by 5th section » Thu May 14, 2009 1:58 pm

you don't have any idea how much I love you. You probably never will beause I'm stupid and inept and worthless I won't be able to say it.
It'll never happen. I give up.
...then one day I realised that the people you see in waiting rooms and car parks and on trains are really far more interesting. That they all have whole novels inside them, a fabric of scar tissues, photos and memories. They are comedies and tragedies and - more often - both at the same time.
- Anna James (1984-2007)

son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...

GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009

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kermit
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Post by kermit » Thu May 14, 2009 3:09 pm

I feel really awful. I don't know how I can get through the next couple of weeks. It's too much. I just need it over with now.
and tomorrow will come
When today is done...

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"To me, photographyis an art of observation. It's all about finding something interesting in an ordinary place... I've found it has little to do with the things you see, and everything to do with the way you see them."
- Elliott Erwitt

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stripysocks4christ
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Post by stripysocks4christ » Thu May 14, 2009 6:20 pm

you can get throughthis. i know you can xx
"Love does not make the world go round... It’s what makes the ride worth while"
"Good friends lift you up when your wings forget to fly"

"Let Go and Let God"
"God will never let us fall without a plan on how to save us"
"For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" – Philippians 4:13

"I only lied so I didn't have to see the tears of disappointment in your eyes"
"I don't want the world to see me, cos I don't think that they'd understand..."


xx Kitti xx


:heart: :ylwheart: :grnheart: :blueheart: :lpurpheart: :blueheart: :grnheart: :ylwheart: :heart:

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amyfairy
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Post by amyfairy » Thu May 14, 2009 7:45 pm

(here again)

i hate not knowing how i feel.
i feel sad, but not really sad. thinking about stuff makes me feel a bit rubbish so it's easier to not reflect.

i don't know why i thought i might be liked. it's silly, really. it's silly even to keep thinking about it.
idiot idiot idiot idiot idiot.

i don't know what i'm doing with my life. i want to do something exciting, i'm fed up of doing the same thing day in, day out. i want stories and memories and adventures. i want to really feel. but i'm too scared about the future. i used to not care, and now i care too much. i'm too scared of fucking up a potential career. i'd love to just leave the country. i hate being in the uk at the moment. i'm not satisfied. but i can't, because i worry about how things will be on my return.

i want to feel like i'm really living. not existing. my life is full of meaningless, uninteresting... routines. compared to other people, it's a joke. i'd love to be someone else.

it helps writing it here.

guest567

Post by guest567 » Thu May 14, 2009 8:18 pm

amyfairy wrote:i don't know what i'm doing with my life. i want to do something exciting, i'm fed up of doing the same thing day in, day out. i want stories and memories and adventures. i want to really feel. but i'm too scared about the future. i used to not care, and now i care too much. i'm too scared of fucking up a potential career. i'd love to just leave the country. i hate being in the uk at the moment. i'm not satisfied. but i can't, because i worry about how things will be on my return.

i want to feel like i'm really living. not existing. my life is full of meaningless, uninteresting... routines. compared to other people, it's a joke. i'd love to be someone else.
That is exactly how I am feeling right now, but not been able to express it.

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amyfairy
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Post by amyfairy » Thu May 14, 2009 8:21 pm

well, it's nice to know i'm not alone :1hug:

it's leading me into "reckless mode" though
i want to buy cigerattes. i think smoking is disgusting.

i don't smoke but i want to tonight.
just to make a change.

i was about to but i came back from my walk as i don't want to get cancer. see, i can't do anything for worrying about the future.

fuck.

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a7xcncangel
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Post by a7xcncangel » Fri May 15, 2009 3:42 am

Get to work! Get to work! Get to work!
so you can
go to bed! go to bed! GO TO BED!! :roll:
Mum: ReineDuSommeil
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VowsOfSadness
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Post by VowsOfSadness » Fri May 15, 2009 5:53 am

when we first met you said you wanted to marry me.
I said wait until at least one year, then we could talk about it. I believe I specifically said we could cross that bridge when we come to it, in a year.
Well it's been three months and I just want to say that while I still think it's a LONG LONG road I at least think we're on that road. You never talk about it any more, I guess I scared you off the topic a bit. But I'd LOVE to some day be your wife.
*Challenges welcome*
I always love a :lpurpstar:

I woke up this morning, I suddenly realized we're all in this together.

Drop by my place & say hi :)
Ask me anything!!!

I'm fully Recovered!

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5th section
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Post by 5th section » Fri May 15, 2009 8:37 am

I know you're well meaning and think you're being supportive. But what you're saying is not helpful. Worse, it's dangerous.
...then one day I realised that the people you see in waiting rooms and car parks and on trains are really far more interesting. That they all have whole novels inside them, a fabric of scar tissues, photos and memories. They are comedies and tragedies and - more often - both at the same time.
- Anna James (1984-2007)

son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...

GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009

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Spidey
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Post by Spidey » Fri May 15, 2009 5:55 pm

My God you're an asshole. If you're so disaffected why the fuck are you still here?
there is, in the end, the letting go.
-marya hornbacher

spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)

:cowave:

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a7xcncangel
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Post by a7xcncangel » Fri May 15, 2009 9:09 pm

I wish I get the chance to know you, but I hope to still be able to one day when I'm in heaven. I wish you didn't have to go. You were so young. Rest in peace, Dillion. We love you! :pinkheart:
Mum: ReineDuSommeil
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Ruby Tuesday
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Post by Ruby Tuesday » Sat May 16, 2009 11:07 am

I really don't like you. I think you behave like an idiot. I have no interest in you and you obviously have no interest in me. I would never choose to spend time with you and yet I find myself sharing a house with you. I wish that I'd stood up for myself more and said that I didn't want you here, rather than just leaving it for him to choose. I'm stuck with you now. Every weekend you drive me mad.

I think it's rude that you've invited loads of people round and haven't mentioned it to us. I think it's rude that you presume you can have use of the communal rooms for the whole weekend. Every weekend.

I am tired of having to collect up piles of your shoes so that I can hoover. I am tired of hoovering.

I'm tired of forcing myself to talk to you. I hate living with you. It makes me miss the happy days when I lived with people I was actually friends with.
"I saw spiders where there were no spiders" - patti smith
"'My hands', she said, 'I've left them somewhere and now I can't find them.' She was holding her hands in the air, helplessly, as if she couldn't move them.
'They're right there', I said, 'On the end of your arms'
'No, no', she said impatiently, 'Not those , those are no good anymore. My other hands, the ones I had before, the ones I could touch things with.'" - margaret atwood


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VowsOfSadness
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Post by VowsOfSadness » Sat May 16, 2009 9:39 pm

Why didn't you tell me you were with her? A girl just isn't any girl when she's someone you used to be involved with. When she was the one that first got you into this mess.

I love you so much I just want the you back that I had before
*Challenges welcome*
I always love a :lpurpstar:

I woke up this morning, I suddenly realized we're all in this together.

Drop by my place & say hi :)
Ask me anything!!!

I'm fully Recovered!

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ThanksALatte
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Post by ThanksALatte » Sun May 17, 2009 2:11 am

why are you doing this? do you understand that you are making my life a living hell? how can you insist that you "love me as a sister in Christ" while lying about what you did to me? i want you to know that you are hurting me...in unspeakable ways...as you do this. every moment that you choose to continue living the lie is so unbearably painful for me. we may have both made mistakes leading up to this, but the pain i'm going through now? that's on you.
and what part of "don't talk to me" don't you understand? that means don't talk to me. don't text me. don't call me. don't say hi to me. just leave me alone. it's bad enough that i have to work with you. that i have to watch you laughing and talking with my family and friends while i'm not allowed to say anything to them about what you did. but for you to walk up to the person i'm talking with & start a conversation with them, then to say "oh hey" so i look like the jerk who's ignoring you? thanks. you not only humiliated me but are now placing me in situations that are uncomfortable and that damage my reputation because i'm the jerk who's ignoring the person who's just saying hi. thanks a lot. stop. leave me alone.
if that's hard to do? then i'll just go the legal route and get a restraining order. sure, it's a "he-said, she-said" thing but really? if i went there? you don't stand a chance. which, in essence, actually brings justice to the situation because you and i both know what you did that night.
<>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <><
"A thousand times I've failed, still Your mercy remains...should I stumble again, I'm caught in Your grace..."

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Sun May 17, 2009 2:36 pm

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. You stuck snobby cow with your "I'm better than you because I don't drink or have sex" attitude. Fuck off and die and leave my fucking boyfriend alone!

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VowsOfSadness
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Post by VowsOfSadness » Mon May 18, 2009 1:49 am

Oh, isn't that what it all comes down to. Isn't that what it's ALL REALLY about?

"YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING FOR THIS FAMILY"
"YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING AROUND THIS HOUSE"

Why don't we just get it framed so we can look at it every day. Then whenever ANYTHING goes wrong or whenever there is ANY family responsibility that you don't want to take we can just look at it and know

know that I don't deserve it. That way we can all sleep at night.

that way i can carry any pain solely on my back.
That way I can know what you're always telling me, that I'm not a part of this family.
*Challenges welcome*
I always love a :lpurpstar:

I woke up this morning, I suddenly realized we're all in this together.

Drop by my place & say hi :)
Ask me anything!!!

I'm fully Recovered!

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Beasty
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Post by Beasty » Mon May 18, 2009 3:12 am

A: Please call. Or text. Or something. Don't make me make the first move. By Wednesday...

D: Fuck you, okay? That was the most BULLSHIT excuse I have ever heard ever. I haven't asked you yet and if things keep up, I won't bother. Where do I fit into your life, eh?
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

Eisa = Beasty's Twin

Beasty's Place!

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a7xcncangel
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Post by a7xcncangel » Mon May 18, 2009 9:29 pm

Dear friend,

I know these past few months have been hard on you and my love and care for you have not changed, but sometimes, you just scare the hell out of me. I feel really bad saying this, but I don't think we should be friends until we are both in a better place mentally. Please don't think I'm abandoning you or trying to hurt you. My T and parents told me it's better to leave things be right now, and I agree. I hope you get that fresh start you always wanted next year and that we can rekindle our friendship. I love you, girlie.

~Christine~
Mum: ReineDuSommeil
Sister: waydownsouth, nomad2207, noldo
Brother: sirjnj
Daughter: Azira
Cousin: DuchessN, jadestarwalking
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volta
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Post by volta » Mon May 18, 2009 11:10 pm

mommy,
i need you right now. i'm in a really bad headspace. can i come over and curl up on the couch with you, while you tell me i'm not a bad child?
i feel like i am.

love,
your daughter

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zombiepeople
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Post by zombiepeople » Mon May 18, 2009 11:28 pm

You have a gf, so leave me alone!
"Wouldn't it be great to heal the world with only a song?"
~Serj Tankian
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