giving up or just not SI'ing..?

stripysocks4christ · Post by **stripysocks4christ** » Wed May 06, 2009 4:44 pm

i was wandering? is there a difference between giving up your addiction or just not doing it? cos i havnt been SI'ing for a while now, but i dont feel like i've given it up? what do you think???

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Wed May 06, 2009 9:24 pm

For me it was the same thing. I found when I started to feel better, I just SI'd less and less. I never consciously gave it up, and maybe that's why I still do it from time to time. But in general terms - SI is like, a cough (symptom) that you have because of the flu (disease). If your flu gets better, generally the cough will too.

It gets complicated when you start to rely on SI to cope with your feelings. And because you've been coping with your feelings instead of SI'ing you might find that when you do "decide" to stop, if ever you come to that, it might be easier to do than you thought.

Everytime you cope with something without SI'ing is a step in a direction that will lead you to security and self esteem. So you're doing something right. Hold onto that.

stripysocks4christ · Post by **stripysocks4christ** » Wed May 06, 2009 9:42 pm

"I found when I started to feel better, I just SI'd less and less. I never consciously gave it up, and maybe that's why I still do it from time to time"

took the words right out of my mouth! I was trying to explain it to my friend earlier but couldn't. that helps. and thanx for everything else you said. it does help. and yes - i am going to try and give up si. conciously give it up. maybe i will find it easier than i thought as i havnt been doing it for a while...

Roxi · Post by **Roxi** » Tue Jun 02, 2009 7:59 pm

Yes, I would say that there is a very big difference.

Basically, being in recovery is not just abstaining from a behaviour. Recovery = abstinence + change.

It's like this : If you sober up a drunken horse thief - you are still left with a horse thief.

stripysocks4christ · Post by **stripysocks4christ** » Wed Jun 03, 2009 6:55 pm

please explain more....

Roxi · Post by **Roxi** » Wed Jun 03, 2009 7:12 pm

Okay, well the Self injury one engages in is one thing - and sometimes only a symptom of a bigger problem. Not hurting yourself is not going to solve the underlying problem. And very importantly, being in recovery is not just about deciding *not* to do something, but you have to make positive changes too (Ie- actively doing something , as opposed to abstaining from a certain behaviour) So in order to be in recovery you must do other things as well - like treating yourself with respect and creating a social support system for instance. Does that make more sense now?

stripysocks4christ · Post by **stripysocks4christ** » Wed Jun 03, 2009 8:01 pm

yeh it does. that just becase i havnt sh'ed, doesnt mean that nesecarily i have given up or that i am in recovery?
thing is i agree with you. but i dont think i can do the whole 'treating yourself with respect and creating a social support system' thingy. :/ might have to wait a bit for that....

Post by **Spidey** » Thu Jun 04, 2009 3:02 am

Recovery is best akin to a long road. You travel down the road as if you would a car - some parts are full of traffic (i.e, stop-and-go; you have trouble, then you succeed in going forward), and some parts are fast (easy) to get through.

ChangeTheWorld · Post by **ChangeTheWorld** » Thu Jun 11, 2009 4:01 am

i was kinda wondering the same thing too... when i'm in a decent frame of mind i don't think of SI but when i am feeling shit it's all i think about... i don't think that's real recovery for me at all.

+Warumono+ · Post by **+Warumono+** » Mon Jun 22, 2009 11:47 pm

I sometimes wonder the same exact thing and I don`t believe the addiction ever goes away so it`s the same.

Either way you`re not doing it but whether you give it up or don`t do it at all doesn`t change the fact that it crosses your mind every once in awhile and you`re pretty much still at risk because it was something you used to cope. In moments of anxiety or distress sometimes people will do anything, falling back on old habits. Or you can be strong and resist it.

So I think either way it`s always a battle to resist the temptation.

Just a note, I haven`t SIed in over a year but it`s constantly on my mind, especially in the wee hours of the night when I`m up alone. So that`s how it works for me

SaraiStar · Post by **SaraiStar** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 12:45 am

This happens with me a lot. Just yesterday I realized I hadn't SIed in five months. That's probably the longest I've ever gone, despite the fact that I didn't make a "decision" per se not to.

I'm mixed on how I view it with regards to recovery. I DID actually have quite a few trying times and difficult events during that time period, so it wasn't as though my life was just peachy keen and that was the only reason I didn't SI. Things were hard. I got through moments where I definitely would have SIed in the past. That, to me, is a sign that I am recovering, albeit slowly... I was able to choose and employ better coping strategies to get through the tough spots.

In a way I almost even look at a stretch like that as MORE of a sign of recovery for me than if I actively prohibited myself from cutting... that I was able to choose more healthy options for coping with my life even without the setting a goal or "rule" that I was no longer going to SI. Does that make any sense?

stripysocks4christ · Post by **stripysocks4christ** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 4:33 pm

yeh. it makes sense.

sunflowerwoman · Post by **sunflowerwoman** » Thu Jun 25, 2009 5:06 am

i think that consciencly or not sonciencly and your not siing
you are giving it up. i like what the prophet has to say.
when i read this post i first thought that i knew what "type" of person
i was, that i was giving up my addiction. but after reading what other have to say and thinking about it, the question is are they not one and the
same?

if you aren't doing it then you are giving it up, if you give it up then your not doing it.

by giving it up you are taking a step towards becoming a better person.
by not doing it you're slowly moving forward over one speed bump at
a time. either way the result is the same.

stripysocks4christ · Post by **stripysocks4christ** » Thu Jun 25, 2009 5:11 pm

mmmm thats a good point sunflowerwoman.

bus

giving up or just not SI'ing..?

giving up or just not SI'ing..?

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