write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
The situation will not change and will remain despite which actions I take. - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
I'll feel an immediate yet short-term calm/relief most certainly followed by shame. - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
- if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
Its hard to put a quantifier on it as its never occured to me to keep that metric - What usually happens after is that I isolate myself. - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
Not sure - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I will feel defeated. If I resisted I'd feel anxious and would still be obsessing about my next SI. - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want a hug from a friend without feeling like I'm under a microscope.
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
It gives me a point of focus other than what is emotionally painful to me. It provides immediate relief and makes me feel calm and less anxious. - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
I have been here before and had a decent grip on it until recently. I coped by keeping myself busy with things that interest me - however I'm incredibly unmotivated lately. - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
- How do I feel right now?
Overwhelmed. Sad and frightened. - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
In control and calm. - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
I'll feel defeated and ashamed. - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I don't see how. - Do I need to hurt myself?
No - but I really want to.
