After

[Diane M]

have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
yes

what had happened just before?
life just feels too hard just now, i see no future and don't want to be here at all

what were you thinking and feeling?
needed a release from this existence of life

why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
no final straw cut last night as well

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.


were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?


what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
tried to rest in bed and put it off

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
none at the moment

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
pdoc has told me to pick up the phone immediately if I feel SU

how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
no just feel the same, filthy and dirty and abandoned

are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
yes

what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.



About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.



What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
I still have my tool and it seemed a better option for the moment rather than the tablets I am stockpiling
Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?


What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
i probably would have found an opportunity

If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?


What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?


If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?

desperate and more Su than I feel already


After You Beat an Urge
How do you beat your urges? Examine how you beat the last one so it can help you beat the next one.



Did I identify what feelings were leading me to want to SI?


If Yes - What were they, and how did I figure them out?


What coping skills did I use to deal with these feelings?


Were these coping skills the most effective I could have used?


If No - What coping skills got me through?


Why do I think they worked?


How can I deal with these feelings more effectively next time, before the urge to SI sets in?



Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.

[zazie]

I can understand SI as an alternative to SU. At least with SI, you're still alive and can have things get better in the future.

Can I ask why you didn't call pdoc? Did you not think it would help? Too difficult? What?

[Diane M]

Now waiting for pdoc to call me. Think I did not call as am not sure what he can do. Don't want to go IP again but I am not coping and feel dangerous towards myself just now.

[zazie]

What kind of dangerous towards yourself? Like SI? Or worse?

IP doesn't sound appealing, but if it can get you through this stretch, it'd be worth it. If you think you can get through it without IP, then talk to the pdoc about it. Explaining can only help.

Have you ever tried talking to him when you're in crisis? It sounds like he's willing to listen. If he wants to listen, there's a possibility it might help to talk.