Knowing that somebody SI's

[Apollyon]

I've been dating a wonderful girl for some time now, it'll be a year in two weeks. Over winter break, she informed me that she cuts herself every now and then. She told me this because she was about to cut. She never cuts much deeper than just barely enough to watch blood trickle out, and only cuts her ankle so nobody will see it. I've asked her a number of times about it; it usually happens during times of intense stress, like after an argument with her parents, even after with an argument with me once, and she says that the most relieving part about it is watching the blood flow from her leg and running her fingers across the welts the next day.

Ever since this discussion, she has been inflicting self-injury more often. Before we talked, she cut about twice in a matter of six months; since, she has cut at least once a month. She says that talking about cutting leads her to want to even more, and since then, we both tried making an agreement (her to stop cutting and me to stop caffeine; I'm a caffeine junkie) which we've both dismissed because of its ineffectiveness, and she wrote a research paper on teenage self-injury in an attempt to learn more about the topic and inspire her to stop. However, as I said earlier, it's happening more often and the cuts are getting slightly deeper.

I love her very dearly. She's the best thing that's come into my life, next to my brother. She is one of my best friends and I hate seeing her in this state. What bothers me isn't even that she cuts, but how cutting affects her. I try to be loving, and supportive; I've told her time and time again that whether she cuts or not, I'll still be here, but she either mistakes my empathy for apathy, expecting me and almost getting upset at the fact that I'm trying to comfort her instead of calling her an idiot and outright demanding that she stop, or she's just locks up in silent desperation.

I'm at the point where I almost don't care that she cuts. I bite my nails and the skin on the tips of my fingers until sometimes it hurts, out of pure habit, and as I said earlier, I'm almost a druggie with coffee. It just hurts to see her in so much agony, and I know it's mostly psychological. I've come to the point where I wonder whether or not self-injury isn't an entirely bad thing, to a degree, because it seems like the stress of knowing that people self injure is so much greater than the scars. This is in her case, at least.

If anyone can offer some help, it would be appreciated. I'm not trying to change her, I just want her to be at ease. And I think I'm doing more damage than good. And I don't know what to do about that.

[dao]

Sorry can't help but, you may want to check out the friends and family section and/or post there.

[Roxi]

I'd definately check out some of the announcements in the family and friends section and perhaps repost the thread there..

Just want to let you know that I read

[Chaocontrol6]

The others have said good points about checking out the Family and Friends section, however this is my advice from myself:

It will be hard to try and give someone that self injures the right treatment. She might not be ready to stop and the like, however what she is doing is not right in terms of not noticing that you are simply trying to support her.

What terms of help has she reached out for right now? Because although she has researched into this, which is great, it's actually reaching out for the help that makes all that research happen.

Hope that helps somewhat

Jason

[PLAIN JANE]

She is really the only one who can help (her).
You need to make sure you are ok..maybe seek professional help to make yourself feel better...just my two cents...
reading and caring!