(Help) How to tell your parents that you self-harm :/

[christine1993]

I admit it- my parents aren't the most observant people out there. I've been cutting since I was 12 years old...I'm fifteen now. I desperately want to stop, but I don't think that counseling is enough. Out of the few friends that know about my predicament, every single one is encouraging me to tell my parents about it immeadiately. I'm scared because they're not the most understanding people out there- they'd rather hide the problem with medication than something different or better. I'm starting to lose hope.
Help me, please?
Thank you so much.

[AaronApx]

Hi!

I agree... this is really hard to do. Sometimes it is easier to open with "I've been feeling..." rather than jumping into "I've been doing..."

While everybody's parents are different and their relationships with their children vary, I think the best thing you can do is be very honest and firm.

Let your parents know exactly how you are. Exactly what you want them to do about it and exactly when you want them to help you get there. If they brush it off, stay strong. It is important and you are worth it. If they are receptive, be sure to thank them for listening. Follow up with your parents: "Mom, have you called the doctor yet? Can we do it now?"

My mom caught me in the act of SI several times, and each time said, "This is not good. If this happens again, we need to get you help." She was probably overwhelmed and scared, but it is hard to not subconsciously take that message as, "I don't approve. I'm not going to do anything about this. Keep hurting yourself in order to get anywhere."

I had a nervous breakdown last year, and the therapist I went to pointed out that even when I was calling my mom to tell her that I should go to a hospital, I kept saying things like, "Yes, I'm fine. No rush. Don't worry." Which, of course, is what she wanted to believe and so chose to believe.

Easier said than done, of course. I never actually went to the hospital.

If you want to talk about this before or after going to your parents, please let me know!

Take Care,
*AA

[TWLOHA*girl]

I told my parents a little over 2 months ago.
I was nervous and scared. I had been speaking with a trusted teacher of mine about my depression and self-injury for 2 months prior, because he was becoming a counselor and I knew I could trust him.
We spoke of telling my parents quite often, but it was just before Christmas vacation that we actually did-together.

My teacher invited them to come to his classroom after school where the four of us could "talk".
He was calm and comforting throughout the whole session, and even seemed to encourage me with his eyes when I looked at him speechlessly for help.
I told my parents, and they were scared, upset, and defensive of themselves, but over-all it went well.

I encourage you to tell your parents. It wont be easy, but I swear...the BEST feeling is right after you do, you calm down...and you realize that it's not a secret anymore. =]

[Licentia Poetica]

There's a section on coming out on the secret shame site under "Living w/ SI".

Good luck