Before

[*Kate*]

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I will feel better, but only temporarily

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it will bring dissapointment in myself, and will take away the satisfaction of going 21 days without cutting

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
It will last until I go to gym today, then I will feel terrible and like I have to hide it from my friends...again.

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I could call J. I wouldnt cut because he can distract/challenge me. it will last until I go to school, I never cut at school, so atleast until I come home. Then I will go on bus.

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
Tomorrow, if I cut I will feel really bad about it. If I talk to J Id be happy I did something to stop myself from cutting

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I really really want to cut....I have no idea

Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I deserve it. being depressed and somewhat angry.

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
yep. I cut anyways, then felt ashamed of myself for not being able to resist the urge.

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
Kept myself busy, I could write, or draw, or read.

How do I feel right now?
I feel depressed, lonely, and really jittery from being urgy

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
numb.

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
After I'd feel better, but only for a little bit. Tomorrow I would feel pathetic for cutting.

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
Yeah I could deal with it better in the future, but Im not sure if I can stop it right now.

Do I need to hurt myself?
maybe. I shouldn't but it will take all I am not to.

[sixtyfoothigh]

I think calling J is a good idea. Or would any other things help to distract you... reading or music?

S x

[*Kate*]

Yeah Ive been reading, listening to music, and been on bus since I got home from school because Im still really urgy.