Coping with grief

PLAIN JANE · Post by **PLAIN JANE** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 4:29 am

I know all the stuff I'm supposed to do........but it's hard sometimes..
I'll laugh on minute cry the next
Any advice would be appreciated.

Post by **Spidey** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 4:51 am

Just go with it...one minute at a time, if that's what you have to do. One second at a time, one nanosecond at a time. No matter what anyone tells you there is no "set time" for grief. And I know I'm going to be cliche for saying this but the holidays make it so much worse.

Grief is, as I'd say it IRL, a tricky bitch. Grief is kicking my ass right now too...

PLAIN JANE · Post by **PLAIN JANE** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 4:52 am

Feels like a giant void inside........black.....dark....scary.
Thanks for the reply.
feels less alone

Post by **Spidey** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 4:55 am

That void that feels like it's gonna consume you whole...yeah, I get it.

But you *will* get through it.

if OK.

PLAIN JANE · Post by **PLAIN JANE** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 4:58 am

That's the one!!!
Thanks for hug.....always welcome.
I'm thinking about going to this program called grief therapy...have no idea what it's about ...gonna find out...
It's so weird laughing at something funny...then crying
They say it gets easier...I disagree...I think you just get used to it.

WorkDaySarcasm · Post by **WorkDaySarcasm** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 6:22 am

After a while the little things that spring won't affect you so much.

Now it seems impossible that things will truly be better.
It's more, the hard sad times will decrease.
take care.xx

pelagic · Post by **pelagic** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 6:27 am

As cliche as it sounds...
Time is the only thing that will help.

It will ebb, it will fade, the dark void you feel will gradually disappear. There will be no day when you wake up and go "Wow! I don't miss ___ anymore!" No, that won't happen. It will be very very gradual, and it could take months, years, decades... You don't really know..

I'm... still grieving, and it's been... years.
But it's getting better. Even though some nights it feels worse than ever, I do know that its better now than then.

And I've stopped grieving three previous losses before that. I still miss them (and you will always miss them), and I still cry over them, but it's not like that empy, desolate void that you feel right now. It's better. And it will get better, eventually.

Just keep holding on, take care, stay safe, and remember that you are loved.

PLAIN JANE · Post by **PLAIN JANE** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 6:28 am

Thank you all so much...one day at a time....sometimes one minute...

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 6:46 pm

When my boyfriend died it was so hard. I cried nonstop for a week, I didn't even leave my room. I couldn't even stand to think about the loss. But I noticed, with time, it became bareable. Maybe one thing I could think of and be fine and the next I would cry. Until one day I noticed I hadn't cried all day. People told me it never gets better, even one of my late friends, I don't know about that. I'd say the fact of the loss never changes, and the fact that you miss them, but your life and the pain does get better.

And don't worry about your emotions changing. I thought I was crazy because I felt like I was maybe okay and then one day I was back at square 1. My therapist told me the stages of grief aren't just like you go through them once, she said you cycle through them a few times and all you can hope is that it gets a little easier each time.

As for grief therapy that could be a good option. My condolences & best of luck.

Roxi · Post by **Roxi** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 1:40 pm

I read a lot, so I found reading Elizabeth Kubler Ross somewhat comforting .

PLAIN JANE · Post by **PLAIN JANE** » Fri Dec 26, 2008 4:25 pm

Thanks to all!

pelagic · Post by **pelagic** » Sun Jan 04, 2009 11:19 pm

When you are at your most vulnerable, take care of yourself.
You've been through a lot, you deserve some TLC.

dylanlil · Post by **dylanlil** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 1:51 am

I know bout grief it dont get easier u just get thru, shud it b for other kids or family members. On 21st jan my niece will be dead 6yrs she was 18yr old and i was in the accident, not a day goes by i dont wish it had of been me. I never wanted life as i was abused, but a stupid soft tyre killed my niece and now my daughter keeps me alive.

Grief cant be shared and if u feel u can cry then cry. I wish sumtimes i cud cry as i feel like a bomb ready to explode.

sori didnt mean to moan just wanted u to know im thinkin of u and living is more couragous. So u are strong and please keep ur courage going.

lots of hugzzzzz

Post by **Spidey** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 3:33 am

dylanlil wrote:living is more couragous.

Indeed.

PLAIN JANE · Post by **PLAIN JANE** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 8:32 am

not feeling very couragous....angry mostly.....want to hide.

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