A coping survey for yourself

[esther_mouse]

Name: Esther (or Mouse if you prefer)
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Yeah, I dunno about stopping completely but reducing would be good.
If so what is your motivation: Less scars. Less awkwardness. More clothing choices.
Favorite coping skills: Playing games. Going out for a drink/shopping. Walking. Sleep. Cooking. Making things. Posting on here.
Coping skills that work the least: Not sure...watching films, maybe. I like to watch them but still SI, just whilst watching them :\
Safe places you can go: I don't know. I don't really have any. I wish I did.
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): People saying things, putting too much pressure on me...
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: I'm not at school anymore, or currently working.
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): I don't have one...I suppose I should make one really.
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: N/A
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: Spoken to someone I suppose.
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): Seeing or reading triggery stuff, feeling really disconnected, being pissed off...lots of little things I don't want to list...
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): I don't have any friends...I can talk to Connor, he's wonderful, or go in #bus or whatever I guess...

[sindy]

Name: sindy
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: yes
If so what is your motivation: to show my ex that i am capable of change
Favorite coping skills: talking to other people
Coping skills that work the least: i dont really use any coping skills
Safe places you can go: my bedroom
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): urm, practically everything/anyone if im in a mood.
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: talk to people about other things to take your mind off it.
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): i dont have one
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: n/a
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: i dont know. i tried to take my mind off of it but i couldnt help it
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): stupid small things if im in a bad mood, or feeling like a failure.
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): my ex

[delagurl925]

Name: Kim
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: My SI is pretty much reduced already (I literally only cut 3 or 4 times in 2008)
If so what is your motivation:..I don't know??
Favorite coping skills: I hardly get triggered anymore. But it depends. When I actually do get trigged, talking to someone is nice
Coping skills that work the least: ...i dunno??
Safe places you can go:...my garage when it's not freezing cold out
Identify stressors (be specific as poss):
control freakyness
mom/aunt/sister
self esteem being low
sometimes just being alone in general

If at school/work name good coping skills to use: I don't get triggered at school


What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): I don't really know. Go down the list, when I remember throw away my "tools"

If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: 4 days

If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd:
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss):

pretty much the same as stressors
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one):
My "therapist" Shadiah, who I call when I can't handle myself, she gives somewhat decent advice

[lucky_lenny]

Name: Lenny/Elena
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Yes. Yes I am
If so what is your motivation: It's a spirally thing for me, aye. I can only see it getting worse, and while it's been helping me to survive my life, I want to live it, instead. Hard to explain what I mean. But yeah. I basically can't envisage a future where I can be doing stuff to myself and being happy. So yeah. Stopping it.
Favorite coping skills: Bus. Painting. Exercise.
Coping skills that work the least: The felt tip pen thing
Safe places you can go: The garage (where our computer is )
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): My mum and her moodswings, my daddy issues, when I think about my sister's death, when I feel tired and sad and recognise that I need to keep going because closing my eyes and willing myself out of the world isn't an option at that moment. Social events, and pretending to be normal.
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: Exercise. Writing stuff down.
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): Deep breathing, grounding type stuff. And staying away from as much stuff as I can with which I could potentially hurt myself.
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: 10 days
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: Waited it out.
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): Mum's moodswings, and the feelings they engender
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): Don't have any. Haven't told anyone I SI.

[xStarBright]

I don't know if I've done this before.

Name: Annie.

Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Stop.

If so what is your motivation: Goal date.

Favorite coping skills: Thinking of goal date.

Coping skills that work the least: Don't know.

Safe places you can go: Little.

Identify stressors (be specific as poss): Self hate, pressured, angered, irritated.

If at school/work name good coping skills to use: Think of goal date.

What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): Grit teeth and bear it.

If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: Since September 6th.

If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: Not still SIing.

Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): ?

Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): I don't open up.

[Sheliya]

Name: Rachel
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Stop
If so what is your motivation: I can see how it’s hurting me emotionally, I am tired of being consumed by it, I’m tired of secrets, and I want to be happy again and don’t see how that’s really possible until I stop. I’m tired of feeling so messed up.
Favorite coping skills: Prayer, read the Bible, playing with clay, journaling, deep breathing
Coping skills that work the least: The rubber band thing
Safe places you can go: Not really sure…
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): All stressful situations, too much pressure, feeling alone, social situations (especially parties)
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: Try and focus on something else, deep breathing
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): Don’t really have one
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: 3 days
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: Tried harder to cope, worked harder to convince myself I didn’t really need to do it that time
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): Depression, anxiety, loneliness, grief, frustration, being overwhelmed, times when I accidentally hurt myself, seeing SI tools
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): I don’t really have any one…wish I did

[Original_Kido78]

Name: Valynn
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Yes I am
If so what is your motivation: Life, I want to live and I want to be free and I want to feel good. I got a taste of what life can feel like clean from self harm and cutting and I liked it a lot. I was almost 2 years clean from drugs and self harm and I relapsed with both last month.
Favorite coping skills:Music, my art, and writing.
Coping skills that work the least: Ice Cubes, reading, walking.
Safe places you can go: My sponsors, my best friend, library.
Identify stressors (be specific as poss):Being over tired, working too much, doing too much for others, losing someone I love, in life or death.
If at school/work name good coping skills to use:Calling someone, having a time out, go outside and get some fresh air.
What is your current safety plan (for work/school/general): Call mobile Crisis or my therapist or my sponsor, change my environment.

If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: I could have called someone, and had a plan in place for before I felt out of control. If bad enough I could have went to hospital ealier than I did, you know before, instead of after.

Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): I have a list and a few copies made to have at work, at home and on my person.

[ambivalent red]

Name: Nice try...
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: only for my husband's sake
If so what is your motivation: my husband not seeing new cuts
Favorite coping skills: drugs and drinking and the obvious SI
Coping skills that work the least: I really dont try anything else
Safe places you can go: I have none
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): my boss and sis-in-law
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: BUS
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): I dont have any
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: I cut today
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: not assume anything
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): my boss wants a status report on my job since i've been back from IP and he terrifies me.
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): husband, Darlene and Julie

[ReineDuSommeil]

Name: Reine will do =]

Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: I dn't know anymore =[ I haven't consciously, but it IS getting less....

If so what is your motivation: I want to be happy, thank you...

Favorite coping skills: Sleeping XD Busing it... calling M..... crying

Coping skills that work the least: lying alone and thinking about it...

Safe places you can go: Bed can be safe, and I feel happy at M's house....

Identify stressors (be specific as poss): Parents, people I compare myself to....

If at school/work name good coping skills to use: Going to my lesson......

What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): Get on with working....

If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: Hmm, still doing it....

If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: Told myself it's okay to eat.

Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): Eating, being tired, being angry, being lonely =[

Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): M is the only one who understands me =[

[secrets1109]

Name: secrets1109
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: yes
If so what is your motivation: ive wanted to stop for a while on my own. but my new bf is also my motivation.
Favorite coping skills: right now i have no coping skills. im trying to find some.
Coping skills that work the least: none.
Safe places you can go: in my bfs arms.
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): yelling. school. family. just things that bother me.
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: none.
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): try to talk to my boyfriend more. just get what is bothering me out... which is so hard for me. just stay away from cutting.
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: 2days.
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: talked to my bf about what was wrong.
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): stress.
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): just my boyfriend.

[a7xcncangel]

Name: Christine
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: I'm trying to reduce, but I'm not ready to stop yet
If so what is your motivation: no more scars, it hurts people, I'm sick of it taking over my life, I want to be happy
Favorite coping skills: listening to music, to people
Coping skills that work the least: procrastinating, not sleeping enough, isolating myself
Safe places you can go: anywhere I'm not alone
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): grades, not enough sleep, not enough relaxation/destress/free time, pressure, conflicts
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: talking to friends
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): keep busy, hang around people...
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: 5 days
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): feeling sad, angry, frustrated, empty, guilty, alone, unloved, worthless, insuccificant, stupid, ugly, dirty, bad, etc. Being alone, not sleeping enough, too much stress, not enough time fro myself, conflict, graphic pictures of SI, places where I used to SI, my 'tools'
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): Caitlyn, Jessie, Mary, Angey, Channa, Danielle

[sunflowerwoman]

Name: screen name, sunflowerwoman
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: STOP
If so what is your motivation: contract I made with counselor, better coping skills and Allowing myself to feel the negative and be ok with it
Favorite coping skills: feeling charts,leaving the house!
Coping skills that work the least: holding ice, drawing with red marker
Safe places you can go: library,starbucks, borders
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): sex/relationships,family and not allowing me to be me, not worthy,stress
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: to not endanger my job in that way
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): same as previous question
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: 17 days and before that 5 months
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: not sure?
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): stress,anger,guilt,unworthy, depressed,sad,mad,tense,anixous
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one):my brother, friend, counselor

[sunflowerwoman]

Just a little note:
in looking at the last answer who are your contact friends,
it doesn't need to be with someone who knows about SI

i'm learning that it can be anyone who you can talk to about work,school,
books,intrests, anything

that person can allow you to try to take your mind of the situation and/or thoughts

[soulonfire928]

Name: Vanessa

Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Stop

If so what is your motivation: It got way too out of control so fast-it was making me feel worse about myself

Favorite coping skills: Hanging out with friends, throwing myself into school work, my job (typical 9-5er, so it takes a large chunk out of my day).

Coping skills that work the least: Rubber bands, ice, anything that doesn't involve people.

Safe places you can go: Friend's house. Anybody's.

Identify stressors (be specific as poss): Family, work.

If at school/work name good coping skills to use: Doing the work I'm supposed to be doing for both school and work.

What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): Don't be at home alone/isolate myself. Go to a store, go hang out with someone-at least talk on the phone.

If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: Overall since I really set my mind on stopping, it's been nearly a year-but, there have been a few slips in there.

If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: Accepted that it was okay for me to feel like shit without beating myself up about it.

Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): Mistakes at work or mom making comments about weight/hair/not wearing makeup/clothing choice.

Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one) : My old prof R., my T, my friend S., my dad (wouldn't disclose a slip to him), my sister (same as my dad).

[*Ally*]

Name: Ally

Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Stop

If so what is your motivation: My bf & not wanting scars.

Favorite coping skills: Rubber band, drawing on myself with a red marker, cutting paper, music, writing.

Coping skills that work the least: Don't know.

Safe places you can go: Not sure..

Identify stressors (be specific as poss): Weight, eating, school, not knowing what I want to do in the future, anxiety, low moods, feeling not good enough.

If at school/work name good coping skills to use: Read, homework, going to talk to the school counsellor.

What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): Don't really have one.

If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: A little over 6 weeks.

If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: n/a

Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): Weight, anxiety, low moods, certain songs.

Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): Bf, therapist.

[moon raver]

Name:
rose (moon raver)
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI?
i'm not trying to stop, but i'm trying to reduce some, if at all. i'm still skeptical. who is it hurting besides me? why not?
Favorite coping skills:
writing, posting online, talking about it
Coping skills that work the least:
cutting, distraction, eating
Safe places you can go:
my room, for a walk
Identify stressors (be specific as poss):
imagined abandonment, hurt, "this is unfair"
If at school/work name good coping skills to use:
i don't really get triggered at school. i mostly have anxiety at school, and that's a whole different issue. it doesn't lead me to sh, but it does lead to really bad panic attacks, so i will find coping skills for that. they are:
drinking tea
drawing (of course i will make up the school work after class)
going to sit in the hall until i feel better
going to see my grandma's friend who works across the hall from where i'm going to be for my math class
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general):
i'm using the one here
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd:
i could work to resolve the issue either before, or if i slip up, after i sh
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one):
nova
mom (if the situation is aproppriate)
vo (grandma)
facebook friends (jen, deb, other long distance family)

[Just Pomegranates]

Name: Jessica

Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Already stopped

If so what is your motivation: Laziness/lack of motivation to get tools out etc and then patch up later

Favorite coping skills: Music, reading, writing, BUS/other forum I hang out on, watching movies/TV show seasons, making a tea/coffee or something to eat.

Coping skills that work the least: Leaving tools out, continuing to dwell on SI thoughts/urges.

Safe places you can go: My room, out into the city, uni a bit as well (not as well but a good distraction).

Identify stressors (be specific as poss): Weight, my mother, and my father a bit as well to a lesser extent

If at school/work name good coping skills to use: Read, going to get lunch/coffee with someone, visiting with classmates/lecturer before or after class, uni T.

What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): Haven't really needed one lately. Mainly distraction until the urge passes/I forget about it.

If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: Don't really count but over a year now.

If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: n/a

Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): Weight, my mother, and my father a bit as well to a lesser extent

Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): Friends, BUS people, people on my other forum I hang out on, my T.

[moon raver]

Name:
rose, or moon
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI:
not really, but i would like to have coping skills for after
Favorite coping skills:
star trek, yoga, calling my girlfriend, listening to music, weaving bracelets
Coping skills that work the least:
talking to my mom. she doesn't understand.
Safe places you can go:
my room, the corner store to buy a canned tea (use sparingly, i'm diabetic)
Identify stressors (be specific as poss):
SA, feelings of inadequacy, feelings of abandonment
If at school/work name good coping skills to use:
meditation, music, prayer, positive affirmations
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general):
identify stressor, use coping skills on my own w/o calling gf, call gf, use 7 cups of tea, call hotline, make sure my environment is safe
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free:
16 hours hahah
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd:
last time it was because of withdrawl from si, so i could have put the blade away and seen how long i could go without si
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss):
seeing pictures of si, feelings of abandonment
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one):
my girlfriend