Why you won't SI
- double_agent15
- bus conductor
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Why you won't SI
Hmm this is a weird and cool idea that I just had while talking to Twilit_Star and so this was what I came up with.
We all have reasons why we don't want to SI and why we don't want to hurt ourselves, so I thought that this would be a great place for us to all post and remind ourselves all the reasons why we don't want this
much love,
double_agent
We all have reasons why we don't want to SI and why we don't want to hurt ourselves, so I thought that this would be a great place for us to all post and remind ourselves all the reasons why we don't want this
much love,
double_agent
I'm a double agent on my momma's side
The shit I hear you say just blows my mind
everytime recognize
Though who I am to you is not a lie
I don't have to volunteer and say,
That I was born a particular way
I've got no uniform I'm cameflauged in any light
Obviously you can't tell I'm a double agent on my momma's side
Andria and Artie the stars of Twilit_star's and my new movie!
Ardvark Days (the tragic tales of two heroic ardvark souls. .)
The shit I hear you say just blows my mind
everytime recognize
Though who I am to you is not a lie
I don't have to volunteer and say,
That I was born a particular way
I've got no uniform I'm cameflauged in any light
Obviously you can't tell I'm a double agent on my momma's side
Andria and Artie the stars of Twilit_star's and my new movie!
Ardvark Days (the tragic tales of two heroic ardvark souls. .)
- double_agent15
- bus conductor
- Posts: 5320
- Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2003 1:27 am
- Location: On a fast road to nowhere
- Contact:
Reasons why I won't SI:
I don't deserve to be forced to relive everything I went through everytime I look at my arms
I don't deserve to be hurting myself for things that are out of my control
I don't want to hurt anyone other than myself because I am hurting
I want to be able to find new ways to cope
I want to be able to say that I can get over this
I know that even if things seem bad now if a few minutes/hours/days it will all blow over and be better and then I will feel stupid for it and hate myself even more
It just isn't worth it
I don't deserve to be forced to relive everything I went through everytime I look at my arms
I don't deserve to be hurting myself for things that are out of my control
I don't want to hurt anyone other than myself because I am hurting
I want to be able to find new ways to cope
I want to be able to say that I can get over this
I know that even if things seem bad now if a few minutes/hours/days it will all blow over and be better and then I will feel stupid for it and hate myself even more
It just isn't worth it
I'm a double agent on my momma's side
The shit I hear you say just blows my mind
everytime recognize
Though who I am to you is not a lie
I don't have to volunteer and say,
That I was born a particular way
I've got no uniform I'm cameflauged in any light
Obviously you can't tell I'm a double agent on my momma's side
Andria and Artie the stars of Twilit_star's and my new movie!
Ardvark Days (the tragic tales of two heroic ardvark souls. .)
The shit I hear you say just blows my mind
everytime recognize
Though who I am to you is not a lie
I don't have to volunteer and say,
That I was born a particular way
I've got no uniform I'm cameflauged in any light
Obviously you can't tell I'm a double agent on my momma's side
Andria and Artie the stars of Twilit_star's and my new movie!
Ardvark Days (the tragic tales of two heroic ardvark souls. .)
- Twilit_Star
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1690
- Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2002 2:42 pm
reasons i don't want to si anymore
yay! so glad you decided to do this!
i don't want anymore scars
i want to find a coping mechanism with a feeling of releif that last long term
i want to be able to look my mom in the eyes and tell her that i have stopped for real
i want to grow up to be an actress
i don't want to worry about what to wear to cover me up
i don't want to be scared of swimming or getting changed
i want to be able to honestly say to my new t that i don't cut anymore
lying is no fun!
i want to stop hurting everyone around me
i want control again
there are probably more, maybe i'll post again when i think of them. you are the best double!
love
twilit
i don't want anymore scars
i want to find a coping mechanism with a feeling of releif that last long term
i want to be able to look my mom in the eyes and tell her that i have stopped for real
i want to grow up to be an actress
i don't want to worry about what to wear to cover me up
i don't want to be scared of swimming or getting changed
i want to be able to honestly say to my new t that i don't cut anymore
lying is no fun!
i want to stop hurting everyone around me
i want control again
there are probably more, maybe i'll post again when i think of them. you are the best double!
love
twilit
- lostandalone
- meeting the neighbors
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- Location: michigan
i don't want anymore scars
I want to me a better influence on my moms soon to arive baby and i don't want to explain to my kids and freandkids why i have scars
I don't want another runed relationship because people can't deal with me
I want to find new ways to relase my anger
I want to be in control.
I wnat to be happy
I want to me a better influence on my moms soon to arive baby and i don't want to explain to my kids and freandkids why i have scars
I don't want another runed relationship because people can't deal with me
I want to find new ways to relase my anger
I want to be in control.
I wnat to be happy
its hard to leave the past behind, when everyday it seems harder and harder, you can’t talk to anyone for they will not understand, the truth you hold within, drags you down bit by bit everyday, which leaves me to still say, its hard to leave the past behind.
My place http://busmail.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php? ... highlight=
Take care all
Remember tommorow is a new day
Stacia
My place http://busmail.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php? ... highlight=
Take care all
Remember tommorow is a new day
Stacia
- I don't want my gf worrying about me any more than she already does
- I don't want to hurt my parents
- If I was ever declared a 'threat to myself' and locked in a hospital by court order I know without a doubt I would loose control and kill myself within a week.
- I don't want to hurt my parents
- If I was ever declared a 'threat to myself' and locked in a hospital by court order I know without a doubt I would loose control and kill myself within a week.
I walk from my machine
Deaf dumb and thirty
Starting to deserve this
Leaning on my consious wall
Blood is like wine
Unconscious all the time
If I had it all again
I'd change it all
Deaf dumb and thirty
Starting to deserve this
Leaning on my consious wall
Blood is like wine
Unconscious all the time
If I had it all again
I'd change it all
<takes deep breath and racks brain>
SI is messy
I spend a fortune on first aid stuff
I don't want to be in hospital
I want my GP to be proud of me
I want to feel better permanently
Healthcare workers treat your depression worse if you SI
Sometimes SI doesn't even help
Oh well.
Laura
SI is messy
I spend a fortune on first aid stuff
I don't want to be in hospital
I want my GP to be proud of me
I want to feel better permanently
Healthcare workers treat your depression worse if you SI
Sometimes SI doesn't even help
Oh well.
Laura
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- silent_scream
- forum moderator emeritus
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:- because i deserve respect and kindness espcially from myself
:- because i don't deserve to hurt anymore.
:- because i want to heal
:- because i dont want to.
:- because i dont want to hide and feel sahmeful about my past and who i am anymore.
:- because i don't deserve to hurt anymore.
:- because i want to heal
:- because i dont want to.
:- because i dont want to hide and feel sahmeful about my past and who i am anymore.
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself, any direction you choose."
There is something counter productive about hurting myself, to cope with pain.
Like it or not, I have to get along with this body. Until I can buy cheap replacements for parts damaged during SI, I have to be more careful. (I learned this the hard way, and my arm may never work right again.)
I'm lonely to begin with, and SI is driving away people I care about. No good can come from that.
I don't like feeling like SI is the only way to get through anything. If I catch myself feeling like that, 9 times out of 10, I can convince myself to do something else.
2 words: Shock Rock. Ever since Marilyn Manson made SI into something cool that could sell records, I have had a powerful influence against SI.
Those I marked with a " " also show up on reasons why I SI. It's funny how that works sometimes.
Like it or not, I have to get along with this body. Until I can buy cheap replacements for parts damaged during SI, I have to be more careful. (I learned this the hard way, and my arm may never work right again.)
I'm lonely to begin with, and SI is driving away people I care about. No good can come from that.
I don't like feeling like SI is the only way to get through anything. If I catch myself feeling like that, 9 times out of 10, I can convince myself to do something else.
2 words: Shock Rock. Ever since Marilyn Manson made SI into something cool that could sell records, I have had a powerful influence against SI.
Those I marked with a " " also show up on reasons why I SI. It's funny how that works sometimes.
"Hey stupid! There's some stuff for you over there. Err, I mean, dinner's ready honey."
-
- building community
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- chilling_teardrops
- growing roots
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Let's see if I can think of any...
It doesn't work for me any more like it used to, I'd have to SI far too severely to get the right effect. And because I really do not want to do that, I could just as well not SI at all.... it'd be more or less a disappointment anyway.
It messes my relationship with my boyfriend. He hates it, and for a reason, I have to admit. We're both so much happier if I don't SI.
This is my life, and I want to be the one in control over it.
The itching sucks.
There are so many beautiful clothes I know I can never wear because of my scars. I know things aren't getting much better, but I don't want to make them any worse than they already are.
I want to be able to like myself, and SI'ing won't help that in any way.
In the end, I know SI is doing no good for me. I'd only end up being more disappointed and ashamed of myself than before.
I know I don't really need to SI. The urges will pass if I just can wait for a little while.
It's messy.
I don't want to be a bad influence on my little sister.
I want to learn to express my feelings and stop being dishonest to the people I care about.
I want my boyfriend to think I'm pretty.
I think life is just so much easier and more fun without SI!
Yay, looks like I've got more reasons not to SI than I thought! Thanks for posting this thread, I think it's really useful.
It doesn't work for me any more like it used to, I'd have to SI far too severely to get the right effect. And because I really do not want to do that, I could just as well not SI at all.... it'd be more or less a disappointment anyway.
It messes my relationship with my boyfriend. He hates it, and for a reason, I have to admit. We're both so much happier if I don't SI.
This is my life, and I want to be the one in control over it.
The itching sucks.
There are so many beautiful clothes I know I can never wear because of my scars. I know things aren't getting much better, but I don't want to make them any worse than they already are.
I want to be able to like myself, and SI'ing won't help that in any way.
In the end, I know SI is doing no good for me. I'd only end up being more disappointed and ashamed of myself than before.
I know I don't really need to SI. The urges will pass if I just can wait for a little while.
It's messy.
I don't want to be a bad influence on my little sister.
I want to learn to express my feelings and stop being dishonest to the people I care about.
I want my boyfriend to think I'm pretty.
I think life is just so much easier and more fun without SI!
Yay, looks like I've got more reasons not to SI than I thought! Thanks for posting this thread, I think it's really useful.
Last edited by Nilkku on Tue Jun 24, 2003 9:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
- Wandering
- town councillor
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I dunno really. I guess:
- Because it hurts the morning after (yes and thats a reason I do it too)
- Because what right have I to treat my body this way
- Because I don't want future people ie at college/work to wonder why I have scars
- Because I've come too close to getting caught, and it would be awful to have to explain myself to my parents, who have no idea anything's wrong
- Because it hurts the morning after (yes and thats a reason I do it too)
- Because what right have I to treat my body this way
- Because I don't want future people ie at college/work to wonder why I have scars
- Because I've come too close to getting caught, and it would be awful to have to explain myself to my parents, who have no idea anything's wrong
- she_breathes
- creating your space
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i haven't cut in a long time and sometimes i really want to and i can't think of many good reasons not to, but here's a few:
- i don't want a serious infection
- i don't want to hurt the people who love me
- i want to heal
- i don't want a serious infection
- i don't want to hurt the people who love me
- i want to heal
how could you do nothing
and say i am doing my best?
how could you take almost everything
and then come back for the rest?
http://shebreathes.diaryland.com
and say i am doing my best?
how could you take almost everything
and then come back for the rest?
http://shebreathes.diaryland.com
This is very hard to write. I last si on Friday 13th June and I'm making a promise to myself (and everyone on bus - cos a promise only to me is not worth it) to stop once and for all.
Reasons why I don't want / need to si
-It is not a constructive coping mechanism. It only hurts me and others around me.
-I desperately want to be loved. No-one is going to want to love me when I si.
- I don''t deserve to punish myself. I've done nothing wrong. I am not a bad person, despite what my thoughts tell me.
- I want to get better and be happy. I can learn to cope and manage my depression.
-I care about my t enough not to want to freak him out again by handing over my tools like I did last Friday. Likewise my boyf doesn't need to see the scarred or scared me anymore.
surfgurl
Reasons why I don't want / need to si
-It is not a constructive coping mechanism. It only hurts me and others around me.
-I desperately want to be loved. No-one is going to want to love me when I si.
- I don''t deserve to punish myself. I've done nothing wrong. I am not a bad person, despite what my thoughts tell me.
- I want to get better and be happy. I can learn to cope and manage my depression.
-I care about my t enough not to want to freak him out again by handing over my tools like I did last Friday. Likewise my boyf doesn't need to see the scarred or scared me anymore.
surfgurl
- racewithdeath
- meeting the neighbors
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- Mystic Mana
- meeting the neighbors
- Posts: 364
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i GET SACRED OF MYSELF
i DONT WANT TO HURT OTHER PEOPLE
i DONT WANT THE SCARS AND MARKS
I WANT A BETTER WAY TO DEAL WITH EVERYTHING
i DONT WANT TO HURT OTHER PEOPLE
i DONT WANT THE SCARS AND MARKS
I WANT A BETTER WAY TO DEAL WITH EVERYTHING
~*BrOkEn AnGeL*~
Do not mess in the afairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste great with Ketchup!
"I wish the ring had never come to me, I wish none of this had happened" ~Lord of the rings
"There's nothing you can do, Harry...nothing...he's gone." ~Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix
'Panting slightly and sweeping his long dark hair out of his eyes, Harry's godfather, Sirius, turned to face him.' ~Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix
Do not mess in the afairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste great with Ketchup!
"I wish the ring had never come to me, I wish none of this had happened" ~Lord of the rings
"There's nothing you can do, Harry...nothing...he's gone." ~Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix
'Panting slightly and sweeping his long dark hair out of his eyes, Harry's godfather, Sirius, turned to face him.' ~Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix
- Mystic Mana
- meeting the neighbors
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i GET SACRED OF MYSELF
i DONT WANT TO HURT OTHER PEOPLE
i DONT WANT THE SCARS AND MARKS
I WANT A BETTER WAY TO DEAL WITH EVERYTHING
i DONT WANT TO HURT OTHER PEOPLE
i DONT WANT THE SCARS AND MARKS
I WANT A BETTER WAY TO DEAL WITH EVERYTHING
~*BrOkEn AnGeL*~
Do not mess in the afairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste great with Ketchup!
"I wish the ring had never come to me, I wish none of this had happened" ~Lord of the rings
"There's nothing you can do, Harry...nothing...he's gone." ~Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix
'Panting slightly and sweeping his long dark hair out of his eyes, Harry's godfather, Sirius, turned to face him.' ~Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix
Do not mess in the afairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste great with Ketchup!
"I wish the ring had never come to me, I wish none of this had happened" ~Lord of the rings
"There's nothing you can do, Harry...nothing...he's gone." ~Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix
'Panting slightly and sweeping his long dark hair out of his eyes, Harry's godfather, Sirius, turned to face him.' ~Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix
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