before

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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loveLights
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before

Post by loveLights » Thu Oct 16, 2008 5:09 am

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
  • how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
    i will feel more shame. the marks on my body will take longer to heal. i will feel discouraged like there is no hope and i might as well do worse.
  • what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
    i will get rid of the urge for the moment. it will make me want to do "more severe" things to myself that i havn't done in months.
  • how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
    i want to feel like i grew from this experience. like i made it through successfully. if i hurt myself i will feel like i've made no progress. like i've taken a step backwards.
  • if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
    it's weird to say, but the relief doesn't even last longer than the prep to hurt myself. not anymore, if it ever did. it's a let down. if i do, afterwards i would probably go onto other things that are more dangerous and/or pop a bunch of pills, drink......something
  • what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
    i've already put scar treatment on my old marks. sometimes that helps. i should try to go to sleep.
  • how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
    if i hurt myself i will be ashamed and not want to see people that i have been honest with. if i don't, i can tell my friends that know the things i struggle with that i made it through.
  • what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

i want to protect myself from my feelings and fears.....
i can protect myself from emotional abuse and remove myself from the situation


More Before Questions To Answer
  • Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
    i've only got 3 days without scratching myself. this is the first time i've ever even gotten one day. so it's weird. i feel insecure with out it. i havn't done other kinds of si in over 4 months......also the longest i've ever gone. i've done this since i was a little girl......it's hard to let go of
  • Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
    yes and no......when i quit pills and when i quit other si behaviors i called people and wrote about my feelings. i felt afraid and skeptical during the urges, but if i managed to not do it, i felt so much better after.
  • What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
    i put medicine on old scars. played with my pets......i should probably go to sleep.
  • How do I feel right now?
    tired........
  • How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
    paranoid, numb and manic at the same time
  • How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
    ashamed......like i failed
  • Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
    i don't know
  • Do I need to hurt myself?

no.....

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sixtyfoothigh
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Post by sixtyfoothigh » Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:58 am

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
i put medicine on old scars. played with my pets......i should probably go to sleep.
Pets are great stress relief.

I hope you managed to beat the urge.

S x
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