after

Stefani140 · Post by **Stefani140** » Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:42 pm

have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
yes, sort of...at work, so what I can do is limited but I've done what I can

what had happened just before?
I felt like I was going to burst into tears at my desk again, and I didn't want to.

what were you thinking and feeling?
I was feeling scared and panicked. And I was thinking about all the bad possibilites of this situation and what could happen.

why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
Not really a final straw, I just...lost the desire to fight it anymore. I had fought the desire and urge since yesterday and it made it impossible for me to do anything else.

were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
not really, maybe lack of sleep...but only a little.

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I tried to call my T again, she was still busy.
I tried to talk to my boyfriend but felt guilty about complaining to him again.

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
Probably not allowing myself to stop talking to my BF, since it really does help and I had no reason to feel guilty. Or writing, writing tends to help.

how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
Its not exactly resolved...the situation still exists, the worst could still happen and there's nothing I can do about that. but at least I can stop thinking about it nonstop for awhile.

are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
um..probably, not sure, it depends on how soon this other situation gets resolved. hopefully that will be soon.

what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
1. call my T, or pdoc if my T is not available.
2. talk to my boyfriend or friends with no guilt about it
3. write what I am feeling or thinking.

han · Post by **han** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 12:38 pm

*gentle hug if ok*
i think your 3 things to try all sound good... maybe you could talk through what happened with your t and she could make some suggestions for if she is busy next time? oh and I find drawing helps a lot so i thought i'd remind you that is an option too

han x

Stefani140 · Post by **Stefani140** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 3:34 pm

*hugs for han* Thanks, that's a good suggestion and I think I will talk with my therapist about it. I'm also concerned cause the last few slips have been on my leg, and I've never cut there before...so I think I need to figure out a way to stop that for sure.

And I will try drawing, even though my stick figures generally aren't that great.

ambivalent red · Post by **ambivalent red** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 3:49 pm

Hey Stef,
much love, hunny! I know its scary when you start on new parts of your body. My legs are jacked up because of it.
Be careful with yourself.
I think of you and love to receive your hugs and advice and PM requests!

Stefani140 · Post by **Stefani140** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:03 pm

haha, I am kind of a broken record on that aren't I?

ambivalent red · Post by **ambivalent red** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:09 pm

And that's why I luv ya so much!! You care!

han · Post by **han** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:38 pm

*hugs back*
hope your t can help
new area is scary... and good to try and stop early - good luck
my stick figures aren't great either

but i like drawing them - it makes me focus and stops the voices in my head similarly to how si can... so i keep drawing even if its terrible

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