Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
- acdcrocker1909
- forum moderator emeritus
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- Gender: Transguy
- Location: Little Blue dot in a sea of Red
You are fucking 23. Grow up. It's very simple.. You are an asshole, just like I said guys can be. You have a 30 year old girlfriend, and she has a kid from a previous marriage.. and you still know jackshit. You've never really -had- a girl before, minus some "psychos" as you refer to them as.. so now that you do.. you know everything? And I apparently can't use a "can" phrase? Yes, I grouped you in with guys who can be assholes cause guess what.. you fucking are right now. When you got it out of me, by pissing me off enough to make me snap, that I am got myself referred to the counselors on campus.. what did you do? You fucking made jokes. i explain this and you try and use the excuse that you were probably fighting with your girl.. AGAIN?! You're always fucking fighting with her it seems. just fucking end it and get it over and fucking done with. Goddamn it you are not all that you fucking think you are. And while you were "helping" me this past year, guess fucking what.. you didn't. you made it worse by undermining the fact that I have fucking emotions. Well... Fuck. You.
Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.
Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.
Dear A,
I don't think I ever thanked you. Perhaps I have, but I don't think I ever thanked you and truly meant it. You saved me from myself when no one else could even come close. I abused your kindness and devotion and for that I bear my share of the blame for how it ended. I only wish I could have done as much for you as you did for me, if you had asked for my help so I could have been there to aid you. Things didn't work that way, though. Instead we had a massive explosion and feelings of hate and betrayal ricocheting about the world. For most of that, I blame myself. I rarely think of those times because the shame and disgust I feel is too great, but I am more than willing to admit to you that such things were almost my fault entirely. You should have yelled at me more than you did and you should never have spoken to me again. I legitimately went crazy but it was still inexcusable.
I thought of you recently. I don't know why. I suppose I miss having you in my life. I miss having you as a friend or even an occasional conversation-buddy. It's just that when I was with you, I felt safe. No one and nothing could touch me whist you were there. I think I miss feeling that protected. I'm stronger now. I can carry myself through anything and I have done so ever since you left. I will of course continue, but I miss being carried once in awhile. I also just miss YOU. Before I explained how I missed what you did for me, but I'd be ashamed if that was all. I miss your funny facial expressions and random noises/squeaks. I miss the way you'd furrow your brows when trying to explain something to someone. And of course, one cannot forget the big bear hugs. What I miss the most, however, is your smile. Not just any smile, mind you, but the one I'd see from time to time that made me feel like nobody else mattered for that one instant and that I was something special. Few people have such a smile.
This is not to say that I want to date you again. I mean no offense with that statement-- now is just not the right time for that sort of thing, as well you know. Plus, I've changed. I like to think that I've changed for the better but perhaps this change has made me into someone you cannot love. With this change, also, brings about the question if I could still feel for you the same way. I don't want to find out right now. I simply want you as a friend. I want you in my life in some way or another.
I'll always love you in some capacity, no matter what. I don't think I have it in me to dislike you. How can someone dislike the person who made them what they are without harboring that same dislike for oneself? And I do not hate myself.
All my best to you.
I don't think I ever thanked you. Perhaps I have, but I don't think I ever thanked you and truly meant it. You saved me from myself when no one else could even come close. I abused your kindness and devotion and for that I bear my share of the blame for how it ended. I only wish I could have done as much for you as you did for me, if you had asked for my help so I could have been there to aid you. Things didn't work that way, though. Instead we had a massive explosion and feelings of hate and betrayal ricocheting about the world. For most of that, I blame myself. I rarely think of those times because the shame and disgust I feel is too great, but I am more than willing to admit to you that such things were almost my fault entirely. You should have yelled at me more than you did and you should never have spoken to me again. I legitimately went crazy but it was still inexcusable.
I thought of you recently. I don't know why. I suppose I miss having you in my life. I miss having you as a friend or even an occasional conversation-buddy. It's just that when I was with you, I felt safe. No one and nothing could touch me whist you were there. I think I miss feeling that protected. I'm stronger now. I can carry myself through anything and I have done so ever since you left. I will of course continue, but I miss being carried once in awhile. I also just miss YOU. Before I explained how I missed what you did for me, but I'd be ashamed if that was all. I miss your funny facial expressions and random noises/squeaks. I miss the way you'd furrow your brows when trying to explain something to someone. And of course, one cannot forget the big bear hugs. What I miss the most, however, is your smile. Not just any smile, mind you, but the one I'd see from time to time that made me feel like nobody else mattered for that one instant and that I was something special. Few people have such a smile.
This is not to say that I want to date you again. I mean no offense with that statement-- now is just not the right time for that sort of thing, as well you know. Plus, I've changed. I like to think that I've changed for the better but perhaps this change has made me into someone you cannot love. With this change, also, brings about the question if I could still feel for you the same way. I don't want to find out right now. I simply want you as a friend. I want you in my life in some way or another.
I'll always love you in some capacity, no matter what. I don't think I have it in me to dislike you. How can someone dislike the person who made them what they are without harboring that same dislike for oneself? And I do not hate myself.
All my best to you.
Eisa = Beasty's Twin
Beasty's Place!
I wish I could send the above letter to you. I just don't think you'd really want to hear from me all that much.
Eisa = Beasty's Twin
Beasty's Place!
- caged bird
- board admin emeritus
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i'm sorry, i wish i could do more to make you feel better, i wish i'd text you back yday and even more so that i'd not been at work last night and been able to help.
the reality of it is though i don't think i can cope with your stuff as ell as mine
but of course i'd put you first, without a doubt
the reality of it is though i don't think i can cope with your stuff as ell as mine
but of course i'd put you first, without a doubt
Being almost devastated is horrible because it lingers. But total devastation brings a kind of peace. It lets you give up.
Thieves and Kings: Volume Two by Mark Oakly
The line between normal and crazy seemed impossibly thin. A person would have to be an expert tightrope walker in order not to fall.
Running with scissors - Augusten Burroughs
- DecemberLivy
- just plain inspiring
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- Location: London
F - I had an utterly mad thought today, when we were doing the physics together. There was this moment when you looked up and smiled at me and I thought... god, when did you get so pretty?
<center>my walpole cafe
"My life's a mess"
"That's the way it's supposed to be" - soap -
</center>
I think I'll paint roads
on my front room walls
to convince myself
that I'm going places.
"My life's a mess"
"That's the way it's supposed to be" - soap -
</center>
I think I'll paint roads
on my front room walls
to convince myself
that I'm going places.
- acdcrocker1909
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 10453
- Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 3:42 am
- Gender: Transguy
- Location: Little Blue dot in a sea of Red
You have one dimple.. and it's cute, and.. I just think you're adorable.. but know I'll not have you. How'd you become so cute in a matter of days?
Music is life.. we each have our own symphony.. and we control it for the most part.. sometimes instruments drop out.. and others join in.. but when the music fades and the symphony is done.. then we have created a beautiful, personal piece. - Me.
Less Traveled Roads <-- Everyone Welcome.
- Dorky&Weird2
- part of the fixtures
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- Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2008 6:39 am
- Gender: Chicka~Age:19
- Location: New England,Usa
She may have forgiven you for calling her names and treating her like crap but I dont.I know im her little sister and shes supposed to protect me but if you break her heart again I wont be cutting myself next time.And I wish you stop calling me that stupid nickname I already have one and you cant shorten my own nickname and please stop being extra nice to me it doesnt change how badly I want to curse you out!
*S*
*S*
& PM's are ok with me!
~My Place-*She* will be ~Loved~...{SI}
LAST SI-{2/8/10} <1year>
R.I.P.-Steve Irwin-9/4/06<3
"They took her moments of feeling alive,And made them moments of dying inside."~Annie-SafetySuit
~Tree Avvy made by the wonderful WDS
I love my cats
~My Place-*She* will be ~Loved~...{SI}
LAST SI-{2/8/10} <1year>
R.I.P.-Steve Irwin-9/4/06<3
"They took her moments of feeling alive,And made them moments of dying inside."~Annie-SafetySuit
~Tree Avvy made by the wonderful WDS
I love my cats
- falllingdown
- sprouting branches
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- VowsOfSadness
- sock rocker
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- Gender: Female
- Location: Pittsburgh, PA AGE:20
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Please God, just help me. I can't live like this anymore. I can't live anymore...
please take this pain from me.
please take this pain from me.
*Challenges welcome*
I always love a
I woke up this morning, I suddenly realized we're all in this together.
Drop by my place & say hi
Ask me anything!!!
I'm fully Recovered!
I always love a
Drop by my place & say hi
Ask me anything!!!
I'm fully Recovered!
- (*Haven*)
- cow control
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- Location: The traffic jam of life
How would you feel if the situation was reversed?
My Place Visitors are welcome. New First Post 12/16/08
Forever Satan of RW
Married to Reine, nicki, han & klove
WDS, snowangel, kicks, figment & Chey (plus kitties) belong to me!
Stef is my twin
Klove's partner....(in crime! Get your mind outta the gutter already!)
:.*.:NO HUGS:.*.:
Forever Satan of RW
Married to Reine, nicki, han & klove
WDS, snowangel, kicks, figment & Chey (plus kitties) belong to me!
Stef is my twin
Klove's partner....(in crime! Get your mind outta the gutter already!)
:.*.:NO HUGS:.*.:
- daisy_chain
- bus conductor
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- (*Haven*)
- cow control
- Posts: 24497
- Joined: Thu May 27, 2004 12:14 am
- Location: The traffic jam of life
I am better than that. I am so much better than what you make me out to be.
~~
I did it for you.
~~
I did it for you.
My Place Visitors are welcome. New First Post 12/16/08
Forever Satan of RW
Married to Reine, nicki, han & klove
WDS, snowangel, kicks, figment & Chey (plus kitties) belong to me!
Stef is my twin
Klove's partner....(in crime! Get your mind outta the gutter already!)
:.*.:NO HUGS:.*.:
Forever Satan of RW
Married to Reine, nicki, han & klove
WDS, snowangel, kicks, figment & Chey (plus kitties) belong to me!
Stef is my twin
Klove's partner....(in crime! Get your mind outta the gutter already!)
:.*.:NO HUGS:.*.:
- styled_wrong
- beyond inspiring
- Posts: 8268
- Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2005 1:36 am
- DecemberLivy
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7474
- Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2004 10:38 am
- Location: London
sometimes I hate you when you get things wrong.
<center>my walpole cafe
"My life's a mess"
"That's the way it's supposed to be" - soap -
</center>
I think I'll paint roads
on my front room walls
to convince myself
that I'm going places.
"My life's a mess"
"That's the way it's supposed to be" - soap -
</center>
I think I'll paint roads
on my front room walls
to convince myself
that I'm going places.
- (*Haven*)
- cow control
- Posts: 24497
- Joined: Thu May 27, 2004 12:14 am
- Location: The traffic jam of life
I hate the company you work for. I think that their policies suck. If they want to make money, they better hope they can keep clients. I wish you'd think about going into a private practice.
~~~~~~
Thank you for liberating me.
~~~~~~
Thank you for liberating me.
My Place Visitors are welcome. New First Post 12/16/08
Forever Satan of RW
Married to Reine, nicki, han & klove
WDS, snowangel, kicks, figment & Chey (plus kitties) belong to me!
Stef is my twin
Klove's partner....(in crime! Get your mind outta the gutter already!)
:.*.:NO HUGS:.*.:
Forever Satan of RW
Married to Reine, nicki, han & klove
WDS, snowangel, kicks, figment & Chey (plus kitties) belong to me!
Stef is my twin
Klove's partner....(in crime! Get your mind outta the gutter already!)
:.*.:NO HUGS:.*.:
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