Rant, rave, rage and riot *la*

handmade mute · Post by **handmade mute** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 1:59 am

P,
I am so mad at you right now. I'm so frustrated that you're moping around the house because you're upset we broke up, and making me feel bad about refusing to get back together. Only you can change it. I refuse to back down.

You had the PERFECT chance to show me you're serious about changing your ways today. You did a load of washing, the first one you've done in ages, and you asked me to peg it out. Fair enough, you go to work early. It's rainy, so it gets hung up under the house, where there isn't enough room for two loads. But sweetie, you only did your clothes.

I shouldn't be shocked. That's the way you work. But you're carrying on about how hard you're trying to change, and the one time you could have done something really great, and really sweet, you don't think to.

So now I have no clean clothes, and nowhere to dry any so I can change that. If I had done the washing, at least there'd be some clothes for both of us rather than just clothes for you.

You really fucking suck as a girlfriend.

Like, really, you have more clothes than me. You KNOW you have more clothes. But you didn't think that, if you're low, it means I'm completely fucking out of them. I have had to survive until today to have a chance to do washing. And now I can't. Because you did and are a complete fucking idiot.

handmade mute · Post by **handmade mute** » Wed Sep 03, 2008 3:59 am

I should not be more frustrated from talking to you.

"Oh, I assumed you'd do another load or two". So, yeah, yet again you assume that it's my job to keep everything in order. That's real fucking nice. "Oh, it's sunny here". Yeah, well, thank you for that, because it's cloudy as fuck here, and the weather report said rain, and funnily enough I'M IN A DIFFERENT PART OF TOWN TO YOU AT THIS POINT.

Seriously, ask me to do something. Stop assuming I'm going to do it. If you had asked last night, I'd have said it sounds like it'll be rainy tomorrow so I'd be waiting and seeing, and putting a load of both our stuff on either way.

But no, you are like, God or something, because you know all. And that's fine, whatever. But from this point on I'm not doing anything about your washing. I'm sick of the fucking assumptions. I'm sick of trying to keep everything in order and having you throw more and more jobs at me. I can't do everything. I've told you in the last week how badly I'm coping, how I can't cope with more pressure. But do you try to do some of the stuff you're meant to be doing? Fuck no. You tell me you need to do work, I clear the table for you, you sit and drink and order pizza and do none of it. You add to my to do list, for no other reason than you're too lazy to do it yourself. And I don't have to put up with that. I won't. You think this is the way to get me back? You're crazier than I am.

Why can't you do stuff? Maybe if I didn't have to spend all day trying to clean up after you, and organise the ever growing pile of stuff you are eventually going to maybe get around to, I'd be able to keep an eye on the weather and get the washing done.

I cannot see me ever getting back together with you. Ever. And I hate that. I really hate that, yet again, you've screwed me over and are shocked that I'm upset.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Thu Sep 18, 2008 12:23 pm

get. off. your fucking mobile phone.

spending an hour of works time on a personal call is NOT acceptable when it means there is only ONE staff member here to try and deal with everything (i.e. me).

learning to be a fucking team player bitch!

Beasty · Post by **Beasty** » Fri Sep 19, 2008 11:14 pm

SHIIIIT I HATE LIFE SO MUCH!!

I cannot seem to make friends here. I only have one friend and he is across an ocean. The one person I'd like to have as a friend is another two hours time difference from the one friend and he doesn't really care if I exist. My classes might not turn out to be what I want them to be. I'm having trouble regulating my eating habits. The person I love more than anyone hasn't been in touch for a week now and I miss her. I wouldn't call her a friend since she is so much older but seriously. A week.

I HATE THIS! I don't want to die but I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE!!!! I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS LIFE! I NEVER ASKED FOR THINGS TO BE THIS WAY AND I NEVER ASKED FOR ALL THIS CRAP TO BE DUMPED ON MY HEAD! I DIDN'T WANT ANY OF THIS!

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dream to shame!

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

the edge of the world · Post by **the edge of the world** » Sat Sep 20, 2008 12:17 am

Yes, actually, I do mind that you told me that I wasn't in that study. Even though I was sure I was. And I WAS! You didn't even check, just assumed you were right and left me to walk to the computer lab to check. It was frustrating and embarrassing and I wasn't feeling well to begin with and I had a heavy bag. Though I do feel bad for being angry with you, because you were very nice once you realized your mistake.

Beasty · Post by **Beasty** » Tue Sep 23, 2008 1:29 am

You are there for barely a month and you're probably already fucking some skank. I hate you so much because I can't stop caring about you. I want to erase you from my brain. I do not want you in my life anymore. I hope that you die except that it would hurt two people I care about. I hope she breaks your heart and gives you an STD. I want you. I hate you and I don't want you. I want you GONE. GONE. GONE. GONE. GONE.

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Sat Sep 27, 2008 5:12 pm

handmade mute wrote:(sorry for reviving what seems a dead thread, but I desperately need somewhere to vent, and starting a thread kinda means making people feel obligated to read it).

Thank you for resurrecting it

_______

Oh yeeees. I'm completely THRILLED to be starting my postgrad. Thrilled. Absolutely. Yes'm. No you fuckwit, I'm dreading it, I don't want to be here and you're not making things any easier by well, say, not bothering to tell me when my seminars are next week? Or providing me with a reading list? Or those mythical supplementary texts which are supposed to be appearing... *snarl*

bee.loved12 · Post by **bee.loved12** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 12:22 am

why havent i made any friends? i am trying so freaking hard and its just not working. what the fuck is wrong with me? im nice and social and im just trying so hard. please, people, im cool. get to know me.

and why i am still so in love with you? i want you back so much. i hope your new woman gets pregnant. and that you break her heart just like you broke mine. our five hour conversation last night showed me that you still love me. i know you better than anyone remember? well wake the fuck up and see whats right in front of you. and dont belittle and make fun of me. its not teasing if its not your significant other. i am a strong independent woman who doesnt need to be in a relationship with a cheap imitation of the person im in love with to be happy. thats right, youre just trying to find an easy substitute for me. yeah i said easy. shes a fuckign slut. and everything you said was wrong with me? you admitted its better now - "everything i wish i couldve changed about you when we were together has changed." well, fuck you. im gonna make the day you ditched me the biggest regret of your life. im gonna make you want me back. youre already starting to slip.

handmade mute · Post by **handmade mute** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 7:52 am

mephistopheles wrote:
handmade mute wrote:(sorry for reviving what seems a dead thread, but I desperately need somewhere to vent, and starting a thread kinda means making people feel obligated to read it).
Thank you for resurrecting it

Glad it's helped

(and good luck with the postgrad!)

...

P.
Really? After five years, you haven't worked out that telling me I'm overreacting when I'm upset with you is a really, really bad move? How do you not realise that?!?

You tell me I need to tell you what's going on in my head, that I need to break down the 'everything's too big' into smaller pieces. I tried. I tried my damn hardest, and given that it's hard for me to catch the thoughts and explain them so they make sense when I'm like that, maybe being a bitch about it wasn't a good move. How fucking dare you tell me to do something, and then throw it back in my face when I do? Fuck you.

You ask what I'd like to see happen. Gee, how about having a discussion where you don't shut it down if it's not what you want to hear? What about you not making me feel like crap for trying to explain myself? For not being able to explain myself properly when I'm mid freak out? You give your damn students more patience than me. What about treating me with a bit of dignity on my bad days?

Yes, I still have issues with something you said last year. And yes, you feel it should be resolved by now. It's not. Too fucking bad. What you said didn't just hurt, it made me doubt every action, not just yours, but mine and everyone elses. No, I'm not throwing it back in your face that you were honest. It's great you were honest, but your honesty, and your beliefs, were thrown at me in a fight, not calmly discussed. As always, I was the bad guy and you were totally innocent.

It's never your fault. You never do anything wrong. You invalidated me today, but you see it as me overreacting. It couldn't possibly be me frustrated at you, it had to be me throwing all my emotions about a mess of other events your way. ANd it wasn't. It was me being angry AT YOU. You invalidated me. You didn't give me a chance to explain what I was trying to explain. You shut down every try at reasonable conversation. You make me feel like shit, but it's because of me, not you. Fucker.

R.
Call, fucker. Dude, you're meant to be mentoring me. You know I'm not fully funtional, so can you please, please just stick with a plan, or let me know if it's changing?

L.
Sweetie, call. THere's been no contact in forever to let us know what's happening with tonight, and I'm stressing.

All.
Learn to keep plans, people. Seriously. Changing them at the last possible second freaks me, so please try not to get distracted by shiny stuff or whatever.

Mum.
Shut up! I am not going to get heatstroke and die at the airshow. Yes, I know that if I'm in the sun for, well, the entire time it's out tomorrow, I should drink some water. It's taken care of. I'm not 2, I get it. I know what I'm doing, and frankly, if I screw up, it's my problem. Stop freaking me out with potential disasters already! It's meant to be fun, not a chance to make me nervous.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Wed Oct 08, 2008 4:10 pm

shut up and listen!

steady hands · Post by **steady hands** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 3:21 am

can you please stop being an asshole?
seriously.

I know you're hurting right now.
I know you aren't on the pills.
but you're making me miserable.

does this really make you feel better?

the edge of the world · Post by **the edge of the world** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 8:10 am

Algebra homework is hard, all the TA and Prof office hours are when I have classes, the tutors aren't supposed to help us with homework but with concepts, etc. Therefore I am awake at 3 am and still coughing after over a month plus a steroid treatment.

Also, I don't like being worried about, stop it counseling center.

Also, I wish I could do math without worrying about grades. Grades are such fun-killers. If I were at math camp, these challenging problems would definitely not inspire so much anxiety. Plus, I wouldn't look up proofs online (not that many can be easily found online... but some can). Anyhow, impractical, but that's my complaint.

OH, yes, and argumentative people... Pleaaase just let me live in my own little peaceful edge-land where nobody gets upset for fun. I really don't understand debating... so unfun. Confusingness. There is a point where people just disagree and discussion doesn't go anywhere. (And the more logical, less avoidant edge says, "Yes, and then they blow each other up instead..." which is sooo not what the more avoidant edge meant.... ugh. stupid brain, you're argumentative too).

haha, can I also stop talking to myself, while I'm at this complaining thing?

DecemberLivy · Post by **DecemberLivy** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 10:19 pm

aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! what the FUCK
why are you toying with me like this! i cant fucking handle it!
FUCK you're making me so confused!

the edge of the world · Post by **the edge of the world** » Sun Oct 12, 2008 5:08 am

health, pshh.

fiona · Post by **fiona** » Sun Oct 12, 2008 4:16 pm

Why is it that everyone I fall in love with leaves me! It's not fair!!
She says she's too attached to me...well she doesn't know the half of it.

ARGH

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Wed Oct 15, 2008 4:14 pm

ARGH Just liquidate the fucking bank already! It's melted anyway, just liquidate it and give me my piss-poor little return on the money I had.

xStarBright · Post by **xStarBright** » Wed Oct 15, 2008 4:29 pm

Ho hum.
-place rant here-
I have something to rant about, but I'm not going to put it into exact words..
This should do.

-rant-
-rave-
-scream-
-grr-
-BAKA-
-more ranting-
-possibly kicking of the wall-
-end-

Take care,
Annie.

Stefani140 · Post by **Stefani140** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:35 pm

Why do you have to fuckin do that? All I wanted was for you to leave me alone and let me stay mad at you for awhile! That's it, that's all I wanted. And no, you have to start groveling and begging....when you know that will make me feel guilty. Just let me be fucking pissed off! Just once!

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 1:49 pm

Fuck off! Just because I refuse to order you £15 fucking sellotape dispenser doesn't give you a right to speak to me like that. You don't need a £15 fucking sellotape dispenser simply to wrap up packages of fucking flyers! If you want to spend large amounts of money on something, maybe we should spend it on my salary or a staff room or a decent fucking computer operating system.

Fuck off!

MusicalMorphine · Post by **MusicalMorphine** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 5:48 pm

I have two pieces of work to hand in tomorrow, neither of which I have done. And I think I'm getting sick. Fuck this shit ugh.

bus

Rant, rave, rage and riot la

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