han's before

[han]

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:



how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I WILL FEEL WORSE, I WILL FEEL GUILTY, I WILL FEEL EVEN MORE ALONE AS I WILL FEEL LIKE I NEED SOMEONE TO HELP ME STOP


what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
IT WILL GIVE ME FOCUS, LET ME HAVE A LEGITIMATE REASON FOR HURTING, IT WILL GIVE ME A BREAK FROM MY HEAD. IT WILL TAKE AWAY MY THOUGHTS AND THE FLAT NOTHINGNESS.


how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
IN THE LONG RUN I WANT TO BE NORMAL, I DONT WANT MY MOODS TO BE SO INCREDIBLY UP AND DOWN. HURTIN MYSELF WONT HELP.

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
IT WILL LAST MAYBE AN HOUR - THEN I WILL FREAK OUT BIG TIME. THEN OVER THE NEXT FEW WEEKS IT WILL ALTERNATE BETWEEN HELPING AND FREAKING, CALMING AND MAKING ME MORE ANXIOUS

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I COULD GO TO SLEEP AND SEE HOW I FEEL TOMORROW. I COULD CHAT AND STAY ON BUS. THESE THINGS MIGHT PUT OFF THE URGE. I COULD TRY TO TALK TO A FRIEND BUT IM SCARED ABOUT IT.

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
IF I HURT MYSELF I WILL FEEL PARTLY GUILTY AND FREAKED AND PARTLY CALMER AND OK. I WILL WORRY ABOUT HIDING IT.

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
TRY TO EXPLAIN IM FEELING BAD? TRY TO SLEEP AND LET MY BODY DEAL WITH THINGS THAT WAY?


urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer



Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I DONT EVEN KNOW. STUPID HEAD JUST SPIRALLED DOWN AND I CANT WORK OUT WHY AND IM TIRED AND IVE JUST HAD ENOUGH

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
YES - I CUT - IT MADE ME FEEL CALM AND I COULD SLEEP.

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
IVE TALKED ONLINE IVE DISTRACTED MYSELF I COULD TRY TO SLEEP BUT MY HEAD HURTS

How do I feel right now?
TIRED AND UPSET AND NOTHINGNESS AND FAINT

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
FOCUSED AND CALM

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
CALM AND FREAKED OUT IN TURN

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I DONT KNOW - I REALLY DONT KNOW

Do I need to hurt myself?
NEED IS A TOUGH WORD