Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
the situation itself won't change. - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it will bring the clarity of mind. it will take away my ability to walk around without feeling absolutely horrifyingly disgusting. - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
i want to feel stronger. hurting ymself will make me feel weaker. - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
it will last for a few minutes/hours? then i will curl up with bf, if he's finally home by then. - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
i could... uhm.... i could.
i could.
i dunno.
i could look at my safety box. *nods*
and hopefully that will change SMOETHING. and that could last mintues/hours? and hopefully bf will be home by hten. - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
i will feel... stupid.
if i do the safetybox thing i might feel less stupid. - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
what i really really want to do righ tnow is SCREAM!!! and YELL! and kick and cry and curl up and hide and ... so many things
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
i'm just really upset and angry and frustrated nad feeling low about myself. this has been going on for days now. - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
yeah i have. i cut myself. i felt worse than before. - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
i have tried talking to people online. i can try looking at my safety box. - How do I feel right now?
angry, upset. - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
dissociated. agnry - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
numb. calm. tomorrow: stupid. worthless. - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
i can learn not to compare myslef ot others. not to put myself down. not to listen to the inner hateful voices. - Do I need to hurt myself?
no i dont need to. but i really really want to. very much so.
